Worst Online Date Ever is the thirteenth episode of Season 2013 of Smosh that was uploaded on March 29, 2013.
Ian tries to marry Claus's wife, but Claus wouldn't hand over his wife because of Ian's "sexy" picture.
Ian complains that there's nothing to eat even though the food cabinet was full of food. Anthony comes in with a groupon for a restaurant called Eat My Wiener. The groupon says that they need a date to eat two large free wieners. Ian suggests that they bring their clones, but Anthony remembered that it ended badly last time, in which the clones appeared to be dead. Ian agreed and decided to get some hookers, but Anthony decided to get girls like people have done thousands of years ago.
They go online to Getwomen.com created by a guy named Claus Winklestien (Anthony). Claus got out of a car without a shirt but is wearing a scarf saying in a German accent that the people watching the video are getting women to date them and have sex (he spelled it out as secks). He says in the video that a person will get a girl on the website or he'll allow them to marry his supple wife which made her worry. He also said that they should sent a photo to get a woman or a man right now. Ian thought it was perfect. When Anthony tries to send in what he calls his sexy photo, which is him in the kitchen doing a pose where his hand is right below his chin, he gets 300 matches and it says he's a dating god; when Ian tries to send in a photo which is him trying to take a sexy photo in the bathroom while having his hand opening his mouth, he's so ugly he doesn't get any matches. Ian tries to refresh the website and still doesn't get any matches, adding that he's incompatible with women. Anthony tells Ian that he's being too picky and suggests that he widen his search to get more results. However, when Anthony checked all twelve possible choices, Ian still doesn't have a single match and is incompatible with anything on Earth. After Ian thinks the website sucks, Anthony reminds Ian that Claus said if someone didn't get a match he could marry Claus's wife, so Ian texts him about it.
At Claus's house, Claus makes a smoothie schnitzel with fruit. Claus gets the message from Ian saying, "deer claus my name is ian & ur site sux! it didnt find me a grrl 2 d8. ther4 i get 2 merry ur wife && t8k her 4 sum free WIENER!!!!1!" Claus still likes his wife and refuses to have Ian marry his wife, so he tries to find Ian a match, but it proves to be impossible because Ian is so unattractive thing he looks like his grandmother, Volbin, getting her arsonstein.
Back at the house, Ian and Anthony were all dressed up ready to go, when Anthony asks Ian if his date showed up yet. Ian says that she's running a little late so she'll meet them at the resturant. Anthony says that his date is going to meet them there too before he goes off to melt the bunch of candles he's holding, saying that his date likes her men waxed. Anthony didn't care since he's getting free wieners anyway. Ian felt less enthusiastic with the wieners.
At Claus's massage dungeon, as Claus is getting his massage, he gets another text from Ian, which says, "hey d00d, i rely ned 2 merry ur wyfe lik pr0nto hav her meat me @ teh weiner plase & have her bring thoze maryj papyrs. BITCH!!!1!" Claus complains to his massager, Pocky, that he can't get a match for Ian and doesn't want him to marry his wife. Pocky whispers to Claus for Ian to marry his wife, but Claus refuses to go along with it. Pocky whispers something else, which delights Claus and tells him to get the dresses.
At Eat My Wiener, Anthony asks Ian where's his date, Ian calls her over. Anthony tries to hold back his laughter, but Ian says that she looked better online. Ian's Date tries to play along, but Ian tries to push her away when she tries to kiss him. When Anthony calls over his date, she is revealed to be Claus's wife. All four are surprised at this turn of events as Claus's wife immediately recognizes Ian's date as a crossdressing Claus. Claus's wife says that she's tired of being put up for auction and taking her for granted before asking Claus why he's wearing her clothes. Claus explains that he was trying to prevent his wife from marrying Ian.The two reconcile and then leave the resturant. Ian remarks that he almost married a man, but Anthony says that from experience, it doesn't technically count of he's dressed as a girl. A waiter asks the two for free wiener, but Anthony points out the groupon works if they have a date, which gives Ian an idea.
Ian and Anthony decide to put wigs on their dead clones and use them as their dates so they can get their hot dogs. However, Anthony complains that the clones are starting to smell bad. Ian doesn't care as long as he has some wiener in his mouth. Anthony suddenly asks if people might think they're talking about something else when they talk about wieners. Ian says that he doesn't think so and tells Anthony to watch him take two wieners at once. The two then happily enjoy their wieners. Then a message on the screen pops up and says that Anthony and Ian were rushed to the ER after shoving a massive wiener in their mouths.
When Claus and his wife came back together, Ian thought it was romantic and better than Twilight.
After Ian realized he almost married a dude, Anthony responded; "Well it technically doesn't count if he's dressed like a girl. Trust me I know from experience." This is a possible reference to the wig challenge from Food Battle 2009
Every time Ian texted Claus, his phone changed. He started out with a white phone, but dropped that phone earlier in the episode. He then took out a black iPhone. Later, in his message dungeon, the phone was blue.
Claus' necklace he wore for the majority of his episode appearance has the same huge diamond ring as in Evil Fortune Cookie.
If you decided to search up the name of the site GetWomen.com you will find a porn site, yeah.. Smosh should of checked that first...
The character Claus Winklestein was inspired by the Sacha Baron Cohen character Brüno. Both characters are similar in that they are very flamboyant, have thick German accents, have blonde bowl cuts, wear bracelets and other jewellery and dress in exadurated fashion.
Shut Up! Opening
"I like online dating because I can do it without my pants on. SHUT UP!"
"If you click the subscribe button, I'll give you my supple wife. Wait, what?!"