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I funded a perk for WELCOME TO PORK E. PINE'S (Part Timers 1) to get my name in the credits... where the frackin' frack is it?!
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WELCOME TO PORK E. PINE'S is the first episode of Part Timers.

Plot[]

Lori (Natalie Whittle) is showing new employee Scooter (William Taylor Johnson), whose childhood dream has been to work at Pork E. Pine's, around the store. Viewers are first introduced to Dinger (Casey Webb) who has been working in the building even before Pork E. Pine's existed and Ella (Jade Martz) who is described as "new to the idea of personal boundaries". They walk over to where Anton (Anthony Padilla), the owner and Ian (Ian Hecox), the Pork E. mascot, are playing baseball with a skeeball. While Scooter is talking to Lori, Ian hits him in the head with a skeeball, killing him in the process.

The next day Lori brings in another new employee, Pete (Noah Grossman). Lori decides to let Pete show himself around the store. Pete turns and notices Mads (Cat Alter) and instantly falls in love with her as she pukes into a mop trolley and adjusts her hair majestically. The moment is broken when Dinger, tells him to back off from his prize table but out of good will lets him pick a prize out of the prize bucket. Pete picks a "#1 Sheriff" badge and clips it to his belt.

While Anton and Ian are sitting under tanning lights above the ball pit, Ian thinks there's something off about the new employee. He looks through the "hello-scope" (a spyglass) and sees Pete picking Mads' retainer out of the mop bucket. When he sees the sheriffs badge on Pete's belt, Ian quickly exclaims that the new employee must be a NARC sent to investigate the murder of Scooter. Anton is quickly convinced of this fact and exclaims that they sent their "#1 Sheriff" after them.

Pete goes to the kitchen area of the store where he meets Ella who is laying on one of the prep tables. He asks her some questions about Mads but keeps being interrupted by the oven as she takes a finished pizza out. She forces him to eat a slice of pizza, explaining that she made it herself and that it's mushroom pizza. Just as he is about to continue his questioning, the oven rings again and the scene switches with Pete being disappointed.

We see Anton and Ian in the staff room whilst brainstorming reasons for why they could be convicted of murder. Upon realizing that the board reads "Top 10 Reasons We Are Guilty of Murdering Scooter", Ian exclaims that anyone could read the board and realize what was happening. With some quick thinking, Anton changes the sign to read "Top 10 Reasons we are Guilty of Murdering Scggter" to Ian's amazement. After listing several ridiculous reasons, Anton and Ian conclude that the only way to get out of this situation is to bribe the "cop".

Back in the kitchen and several slices of pizza later, Pete is still attempting to ascertain information from Ella about Mads' preferences. As Ella is answering she suddenly pauses and psychedelic music begins to play to Pete's confusion. After Ella exclaims that he looks like Abraham Lincoln, Pete looks up in horror as Ella has been replaced by a large sumo wrestler (Takato Yonemoto). Realizing he has been accidentally drugged, Pete excuses himself whilst Ella continues to spout nonsense.

While Anton and Ian are brainstorming methods to bribe Pete, he walks in to their surprise. After demanding to know Pork E.'s dating policies, Pete realizes that Mads' retainer is missing. When he walks to out to look for it, Anton and Ian are left to assume that their failed attempt means they are going to prison.

Returning to the kitchen, Pete encounters Mads face to face and returns her retainer to her. After exclaiming that she "Loves a guy who isn't afraid to touch a girl's mouth", Pete quickly begins to make out with Ella to Lori's shock and amusement.

In preparation to go to prison, Anton and Ian are practicing prison activities such as brewing "Pruno" or "Toilet Wine" and bringing in illegal contraband. After they agree that "Toilet Beer" would be even better, they both move to the kitchen to grab yeast.

A crowd has formed outside the kitchen door, which consists of a baffled Lori, Dinger and Ella. As Anton, Ian and Mads walk in, it is revealed that Pete has been making out with a mop containing Mads' retainer. At the end of the scene, Ian pulls a harmonica out of his buttocks and plays the "Part Timers" theme as the episode fades to black.

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