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VIDEO GAME ITEMS IN REAL LIFE is a Smosh video uploaded on February 27, 2015.

Synopsis

When Ian and Anthony cosplay to get a free video game t-shirt, they fantasize about using video game items to move the line.. or destroy everyone in it. If these items existed in real life they could totally backfire... or BE THE BEST THINGS EVER!

Plot

Intro

In a game store called Game Hole, Ian says, "Look at all these nerds" and Anthony agrees and he says that it's not a good idea to wear a Zelda costume. Ian doesn't care about it because if they're in costumes, they get a free t-shirt. Anthony asks how are they going to get to the counter with a line this long. Ian wishes he gets a Master Sword so he can cut his way through. Anthony disagrees because he'll then go to jail for murder and never have time to play the game they're buying in the first place, Ian says, "True". Anthony wishes he has the Ocarina to play the Song of Time so he can go forward in time and already have the game. Ian asks how awesome would it be if video game items are real.

Super Mario Bros Super Mushroom

Francis' son (Anthony) celebrates his dad (Ian)'s birthday and said he made a cake for him. Francis liked it but criticizes it for being too small, resulting his son calling him an "ungrateful little sh*t" and feeds the cake a Super Mushroom, enlarging it. This impresses Francis, as he begins to eat the cake.

Half-Life 2 Gravity Gun

Billy Hamburger tells his dad that is gonna play on the road, which made his dad wake up. Billy's dad tells Billy to get back here but as his adoptive son ignored him, he pulls out a gravity gun and stopped Billy. His dad asks on how does he bring him back to him. He then accidentally launches Billy into a painting that kills him, causing him to says, "Oh well".

Saint's Row III Purple Dildo Bat

A teenage son (Anthony) find his mom crying. He asks what's wrong. His mom said she found the bat under his bed. She asks if he was using it, which he kept denying and says, "It's from a video game, I swear". His dad then joins the conversation and tells his wife to confiscate the bat for some sexual activities (but puts it as "scientific purposes"). His mom agrees on doing it for science. They then rush to their bedroom. The teenager then says he's gonna wash his eyes out with bleach.

Portal Gun

A man (Anthony) asks if his date wants to go to his place to put on a documentary about the legitimate conclusions about time travel. Then a hobo (Ian) appears asking if she wants to make out in a dirty bus and calls her a b**ch and he'll never call her again. The man's date says that it sounds a lot less boring. The hobo tells the man to get out, which he does after pulling out a portal gun and shooting a portal up the ceiling. While the man is going to the bathroom, the hobo tells him to go have fun being single because he is getting hooked up before telling the date how they were going to make out. Suddenly, poop started to rain under them, which the hobo said that it was like a dookie rain.

Super Mario Bros Fire Flower

The same man from the previous segment asks his date if it's romantic. His date says that maybe if that candle was lit. Then a Fire Flower appears to light up the candle. However, it also set the whole place on fire, causing the man to rush out on fire saying he made a terrible mistake.

Mario Kart Spiny Blue Shell

A kid watching JOVEN GETS WAXED (Raging Bonus Video) types and says "FIRST!" before laughing when suddenly a blue shell appeared which obliterated the kid. Mario (Anthony) then appears in his kart saying, "Nobody f**king cares!".

Mortal Kombat Scorpion's Rope Dart

Billy's dad says that it's a good thing he adopted a second kid that just so looks like the first one. Billy then says he is going to rub his private parts on the microwave. Billy's dad then shouts, "Get over here!" and launches the rope dart which kills Billy, causing him to says, "Whoopsies".

Food Battle: The Game Lollipop Wand

Jack's wife, Ling-Ling (who isn't Susan for some reason but is played by Olivia Sui instead) throws grass on him and she says that he's bad at cutting and he is the worst husband in the world. Jack says that he can only take so much, which she responded by saying it's not worth getting her green card (a permit allowing a foreign national to live and work permanently in the US) from him. Jack had enough so he pulls out the Lollipop Wand and turns her into a lawn flamingo and says that that's better. He then kicks her out.

GTA Money

On a car, a gangster (Anthony) guesses he can go pay his rent now.

Doom BFG 9000

Billy's dad says that it's a good thing he adopted a third kid who looks like the last two. Billy then says he is going to get a tattoo of a butthole on his butthole, causing him to pull out the BFG and shoots Billy which kills him. He then says that he really sucks at this whole parenting thing.

Pac-man Power Pellet

A man in a yellow shirt (Ian) is chasing a girl, saying it's OK because once he eats her, her eyes will go back to the cage and she'll be alive again. He then continues to chase her.

Ending

Anthony agrees and says that it would kick ass and Ian says, "I told you". Anthony then pulls out the Ocarina to speed the s**t up with the Song of Time. However, he plays the wrong tune, which Ian notices and realizes that it's the Song of Storms. After it finishes raining on Anthony, Ian tells him that his nipples are kinda showing now. That alerted a nerd in a Flash costume to see Anthony's nipples, causing him to say, "Oh my god, girl boobs!". He and all the other nerds then chased after Anthony who runs off to touch his "boobs", leaving only Ian in the line. Ian then says that since no one else is there, he's going to get the game first. Naturally, a blue shell appears which Ian tries to dodge but still ends up killing him.

Cast

Other characters

  • Link (Ian's costume)
  • Zelda (Anthony's costume)

Trivia/Goofs/Notes

  • This video was uploaded the same day Leonard Nimoy died.
  • Link doesn't appear in this video, but Ian dressed like him.
  • Although it isn't an If [blank] Were Real episode, at the end of Ian and Anthony's fantasy, instead of either of them saying that [blank] would suck in real life, they say [blank] would kick ass.
  • In a scene where Billy's dad talked to Billy, the background music is Timber by Pitbull feat. Ke$ha.
  • When Anthony was running out of the burning house, footage of a burning house with a lookalike of Anthony running outside was used.
  • There is no such store called the Game Hole although it's a parody of Game Stop.

Shut Up! Opening

"Yeah but did you hear that Sega Genesis has blast processing- SHUT UP!"
—Opening

Subscription Ending

"Hey, if you are not already subscribed, click that yellow button to get a 1Up! *video game sounds*"
—Start of end slate

Video

VIDEO GAME ITEMS IN REAL LIFE

VIDEO GAME ITEMS IN REAL LIFE

BIG F**CKING GUN! (BTS)

BIG F**CKING GUN! (BTS)

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