I decided to make my own Honest Game Trailers on my blog. Let's get cookin'!
The following trailer is rated F for Flippinawesome.
From the company (Activision) that keeps making unnecessary sequels and ripoffs to their number one franchise (Call of Duty) that become major cash cows, comes an even bigger cash cow franchise, but this time, it's actually designed for kids!
Skylanders!
Get ready for the first toys-to-life video game franchise, and battle a frantic baldie named Kaos, who uses his pure evilness, and pure annoyingness to take over the floating realm of Skylands! Which is pretty pointless, cause he can just take over the Earth like every other villain plans to.
Step into the shoes of the Portal Master, an unseen being that can bring the Skylanders to life, simply by placing their respective figures on the Portal of Power, and channels 10 almighty elements. Can we improvise that the Portal Master is just a stupid consumer? Man, why do we need that many figures?
Join a vast cast of characters, including:
Flynn, who's played by the same guy who played The Tick in a quickly-ended sitcom. Thank god it's coming back, but Pat's not gonna be in it this time.
Cali, a hot babe who's always hating on her lover.
Hugo, a nerdy worrywart who can't stand sheep. Seriously, what is wrong with this guy?
Mags, who's practically a purple skinned Dolly Parton with smaller boobs.
And Master Eon, who looks like Gandalf with a viking helmet.
Wow, this is more weird than how you always make non-needed sequels to CoD, Activision!
Along the way, battle the most notorious of enemies, like: Cyclopes, Arkeyans, Drow, and Chompies, the most annoying little thing in a video game! Sorry, Pikachu. And enjoy amazing platformer-RPG gameplay, with puzzles, minigames, and the stupid fact that you can't jump in the first two games. That's why you play from Swap Force onwards.
Step into a wide variety of games, like...
The first one, which is pretty much mainly RPG.
The second one, with huge-ass playable characters.
The third one, with top-and-bottom swapping characters.
The fourth one, where you can capture and play as villains.
The fifth one, where they incorporate racing and let you drive planes, boats, and cars. It sucks if you get it for Wii, and also 3DS, because it sucks whenever you use it to play any of the games with 3DS versions.
And the sixth one, where you get to make your own Skylander by buying a Creation Crystal for 10 bucks. I think I'm gonna start with the sixth one!
STARRING.. 156 amazing Skylanders figures, that you don't need all of to beat the game, but you still want! And you bet your sweet ass we're gonna name em all! FFFFFFFF...
Why Is Everyone Hating On Me Now? (Spyro)
Gremlin Conker (Pop Fizz)
Name Says It All (Deja Vu)
Miley Cyrus (Wrecking Ball)
Hipster Wizard (Voodood)
My Friend, the Witch Doctor (Double Trouble)
Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star Strike
Stomp Out A Beetle (Dune Bug)
Not So Charming (Cobra-Cadabra)
I Wish I Was Dead (Ninjini)
Follow Your Nose (Hoot Loop)
Trap Queen (Trap Shadow)
Midget Megamind (Blastermind)
Now You Don't (Enigma)
Frida Goat (Splat)
Cat Centaur (Mysticat)
F**kshot (Buckshot)
Free Candy (Pain-Yatta)
Fish Sticks (Gill Grunt)
Machamp Sasquatch (Slam Bam)
Queen Elsa (Chill)
Hero In A Wham-Shell
Rip van Tide
Pump Up The Jam (Echo)
Eely, Eely Awful (Punk Shock)
Flipper (Flip Wreck)
Moby Dick (Thumpback)
Sucker With Suckers (Wash Buckler)
Brain Freeze (Freeze Blade)
Crocagator Hunter (Snap Shot)
Where's The Butter Sauce? (Lob-Star)
I've Got The Eyeballs (Dive-Clops)
Mumble Jumbo (King Pen)
Geena Davis (Tidepool)
Punch Like An Egyptian (Grave Clobber)
Street Shark (Terrafin)
Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards (Prism Break)
Boomerangasaurus (Dino-Rang)
Super Bash Bros.
Another F**king Crystal-Related One (Flashwing)
I Like Turtles (Slobber Tooth)
Get Over Here! (Scorp)
Rocky Roll V
Can't High-Five (Fist Bump)
MC Hammer (Crusher)
Drill Feet (Rubble Rouser)
Comedy Club (Doom Stone)
Off the Wallop
Me So Horny (Head Rush)
Smash Bandicoot (Smash Hit)
Three Times As Horny (Tri-Tip)
Weightliftress (Barbella)
Golden Girl (Golden Queen)
Old King Coal (Eruptor)
Burning The Knight Away (Ignitor)
Hot Stuff (Torch)
Blue Fryno
Hot Wings (Sunburn)
Green Skinned Arrow (Flameslinger)
100 Yard Smolderdash
Hold the Mustard (Hot Dog)
Hellicorn (Trail Blazer)
Oh God, My Head's On Fire! (Hot Head)
Blast Off (Blast Zone)
Chinese New Year (Fire Kraken)
Gold Mufasa (Wildfire)
Hulk Hogan With A Cannon (Ka-Boom)
Fire Ghost Snake Thing (Spitfire)
Female Darth Maul (Ember)
Team Jacob (Flare Wolf)
Ninja Cock (Tae Kwon Crow)
Gold Rush (Trigger Happy)
Internet Troll (Boomer)
I, Drobot
Sprocket Science
Atten-TION! (Drill Sergeant)
Sex Toy (Wind Up)
Bomberman (Countdown)
Slap-Chopper
Treadmill Bike (Tread Head)
Fingerbang (Bouncer)
Attracted To You (Magna Charge)
Spy-der-man (Spy Rise)
Robot Mike Tyson (Jawbreaker)
Gearshift of War
Do Not Touch (High Volt)
Smoking Krank (Dr. Krankcase)
2 Chainsawz (Chain Reaction)
Robo-Hood (Ro-Bow)
Grow Some Roller Brawls
Ghost Roaster Busters
Raven (Hex)
Ghouls Just Wanna Have Fun (Cynder)
Hacking The System (Grim Creeper)
Dead Dog (Funny Bone)
Another One Bites My Arm (Bat Spin)
Fright Riders In The Sky
Retires Optometrists (Eye-Brawl)
The Vamps (Night Shift)
Snaking Bad (Rattle Shake)
Krypt King of the Hill
No Matter How You Slice It (Short Cut)
Day of the Undead (Fiesta)
Death Hack (Chopscotch)
Like A Pit Boss
Team Jacob, wait, didn't we use that one already? (Wolfgang)
American Airlines (Jet-Vac)
Double Rainbow (Whirlwind)
Hurricane Katrina (Warnado)
Zeus (Lightning Rod)
Gryffindor (Sonic Boom)
Sphinx, You Owe Me A Coke! (Scratch)
Puffing A Joint (Pop Thorn)
Big Slice (Blades)
Fling-Dong (Fling Kong)
Call An Exterminator (Swarm)
KFC (Free Ranger)
Atom Bomb (Boom Jet)
Fatarang (Gusto)
Usain Thunderbolt
The Lark Knight (Stormblade)
Fighting-and-Flying Type (Air Strike)
My Eyes Are In My Mouth (Wild Storm)
Spiritual (Bad Juju)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Elf (Stealth Elf)
Bamboom! (Zook)
High-Three! (High Five)
Axed At Work (Stump Smash)
Kecleon (Camo)
Dave Groll (Food Fight)
Pizza Night (Shroomboom)
Breaking Out In Hives (Bumble Blast)
Kevin James (Zoo Lou)
His Bark Is Worse Than His Bite (Tree Rex)
Twilight: Breaking Wind (Stink Bomb)
Armored Donkey Kong (Grilla Drilla)
Timber! (Bushwhack)
Built Ford Tuff Luck
Michael Jackson's Thrillipede
Use Leaf Blade! (Ambush)
Watch Me Whip (Boom Bloom)
We Are The Chompy-ons (Chompy Mage)
Halo 5 (Spotlight)
Kid Icarus (Knight Light)
Star of the Show (Astroblast)
Skinny Opera Singer (Aurora)
Blaster-Tron Legacy
Electrical Blackout
Knight Mare on Elm Street
Total Recall (Nightfall)
Hoodie Reaper (Hood Sickle)
and...
Star...Ninja...Space...uh...pass! (Starcast)
SKY-ROCKETING!
Man, why do I want to collect so many of these? Damn you consumerism!