Unidentified security guard

The title of this article is conjectural.
‎Although this article is based on official or canonical information, the actual name of the subject is pure conjecture.

"Raise your hands above your head you terrorist!"

—The security guard to Ian Hecox^[src]

The security guard is a Smosh character introduced in "Oh, the Joys of Puberty," a 2002 Smosh.com article written by Ian Hecox. In the story, the security guard worked at an apartment building where the Hecox family lived. Hecox's fictional counterpart ran into the guard on the stairs, where he briefly mistook the teenager for a terrorist concealing a weapon, only to realize that Hecox simply had an erection, prompting him to burst into laughter.

Biography[]

"What the hell? what do you have in your hands?"

—The security guard questioning Ian Hecox^[src]

In 2002, the security guard worked at an apartment building where the Hecox family lived. At some point during the year, while Hecox was returning to his family's apartment to retrieve his money for a nearby laundromat so he could wash his soiled bedsheets, he collided with the security guard while running up the stairs. Hecox covered his erection with his hands, causing the guard to think that he was concealing something. Hecox denied having anything hidden, but the security guard panicked and, believing Hecox was a terrorist with a concealed weapon, raised his pistol at the teenager and ordered him to raise his hands. Hecox complied, revealing his erection.^[1]

The guard looked down and dropped his jaw in surprise while Hecox assured him that he was not carrying anything. The guard's face turned red before he burst into laughter, falling to the ground while exclaiming that Hecox was telling the truth. As the guard continued to laugh, Hecox slipped past him and quickly retrieved his change from his bedroom before running back to the laundromat. As he left, he passed by the guard, who continued to laugh.^[1]

Characteristics[]

"AHAHAHHA, You got that right kid, AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

—The security guard laughing at Ian Hecox^[src]

The security guard, a male, carried a pistol. Initially confused after Hecox ran into him, after Hecox covered his erection with his hands, the guard suspected that the teenager was hiding a weapon, quick to escalate to the use of force by drawing his pistol on Hecox. After realizing that Hecox was hiding an erection, the guard found amusement in the teenager's situation as he burst into laughter and allowed Hecox to go.^[1]