RETARDED CATS: THE MOVIE
Thumbnail of Retarded Cats: The Movie
, other workers, retarded cats
" *Cats meowing* SHUT UP!" —Shut Up! Opening
" (Whispering) Thanks for subscribing. I'm whispering because I don't want these retarded cats to hear me. (Meows) OH NO!!! NO!!! NO!!! AAH!!! " —Subscription Ending
RETARDED CATS: THE MOVIE was a Smosh main channel video.
An executive (portrayed by
Ian) apologizes to his family, who all have similar faces, about failing them and his company. The narrator talks about the executive with no options left, which made him almost take suicide pills. An employee stopped the executive from taking the pills by saying that he has found the funniest video ever which the narrator thought of it as the greatest revelation of the twenty-first century. The video was called Dopey Cat and the employee liked the face of the cat. He even said that the cat made the person so much money that had quitted his job. The executive wanted to tell the board about it instantly.
At the presentation, the executive told the other employees that they could save the company which one of the workers wanted to know how making the executive say, "Retarded cats!" The narrator says that the executor is very persistent into making it happen. The executive said that the cats make billions of dollars in revenue every single day on YouTube. He wanted to find a way to gene altering drug to make cats retarded. He thought they'll be sitting in a gold mine, but changed his mind to a retarded cat mine. The narrator said something about a man having issues with the wording. Larry (portrayed by
Anthony) thought "retarded" was too offensive of a word and wanted to call them "special cats" or "mentally unstable felines". The executive said that no one has time for Larry's political bulls**t and says that the retarded cats are ticket out of bankruptcy. The narrator even mentioned Larry taking a stand. Larry has an idea for calling the cats, "mentally disadvantage furry friends", but the executive does not like the idea and wants to create retarded cats.
While in a lab, the scientists made the formula perfect to make cats retarded. The executive wanted the drugs in mass production immediately, wanting a thousand cats retarded within a week.
In a presentation, the executive has a party with other employees saying that the new drug, retarded catamine, is top selling drug in America. Everyone cheered except Larry who refused to be part of the team. He wanted to give it a non-offensive name to the cats, but the others wouldn't listen to him. The executive says that Larry is standing in the way of progress and asks him to be part of the crew or leave. Larry decides to leave and tells the executive that he'll regret that decision. The executive did not believe that Larry will make anyone of them regret even though the narrator says he will.
In Larry's office, Larry tries to make them regret their decision by downloading the formula. The narrator even said that the others should've listened.
In the executive's office, the employee told the executive that Larry stole the formula. The executive thinks that Larry will share it with every cat owner making every cat retarded. All of the sudden, the lights flashed red making the executive notice the problem begins. An employee saw a retarded cat climbing up the desk thinking it was cute until the cat bounced on and attacked him. The narrator reminded the audience again that they should've listened. When a cat made a scientist's hand bloody, the narrator mentioned again that they really should've listen. When the executive found a worker dead from a cat, he thought he told Larry they regret the decision after having one hand bitten off from his arm. Larry is also seen with an army of cats making the narrator say that they should've listened. The executive was running away from retarded cats in the hallways.
Later on, Larry was holding a gun towards the executive saying that the exec had to call the cats something politically incorrect. The executive thought they were retarded, but Larry knew that "retarded" in the dictionary is defined as slow or limited in intellectual, emotional development, or academic progress. Larry believes the cats are more developmentally disabled then anything and society needs to stop misusing the word "retarded". He's also believes it's like misusing the word "gay" where people say things like, "Oh, that's so gay," or, "Don't be so gay," which pisses him off. Afterwards, the executive threw a cat to Larry's face which he called it a retarded, gay cat. The executive then rolled to the couch and shot a gun.
The narrator introduced the movie
Retarded Cats: Catpocalyse which comes to theaters whenever people stop misusing the words "retarded" and "gay" in which that won't ever stop happening, so the narrator then says, "So...never."
When the executor said that the retarded cats can get them out of bankruptcy, a worker tells Johnson to move his divisions to retarded cat drugs. However, Johnson said that the AIDS division is developing a cure on the virgins and asks if they could move the penis enlargement division instead. The worker did not want that saying about that department being too important for some people and that nobody cares about curing AIDS.
Retarded Cats: The Movie/Script
In the description, the
Smosh Livestream for Food Battle: The Game was announced. The sound of cats meowing in the Shut Up! Opening was also used in "
Cat Soup." This is the first Smosh video uploaded after Smosh lost its most subscribed standing on YouTube for the last time.
This video was not translated by Smosh's French channel.
In this episode,
Ryan Todd played one of the employees. As seen when the CEO picks up his family photo, the camera shows it being people with Ian's face added onto each person.
The video is not really a trailer, as they give away the ending.
About 56 seconds into the video, "Ian's Mom = Hot" is written on the white board in the left corner
In the background of the office scene, a number sentence is drawn on the blackboard saying 2+2=5 while it really equals 4.
In the same scene above, a line graph is on the blackboard reading "Revenge $$$"
2+2=5 is a slogan used in George Orwell's novel book named Nineteen Eighty-Four. Later, 2+2=5 also famously used as song title by Radiohead. The first cat that the company made "retarded" is the same cat puppet from the opening of
Food Battle 2012. Other cats seen around Larry were seen in
If The Internet Was Real, If Superheroes Were Real, and Cute Furry Kittens. This video was made private in 2020. This is likely due to the video's offensive nature with regard to the word "retarded", as well as "gay".
Cast Ian Hecox as the CEO
Anthony Padilla as Larry
Lee Eisenhower as Coworker
Patrick Egan and Jon Hooker
Executives: Kerry Sweeney,
Ryan Todd, Jon Hooker, Patrick Egan, Felicia Cowley
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