|If Cartoons Were Real|
July 30th, 2010 (Smosh)
(Note: some of the characters are not 100% accurate)
Ian and Anthony are watching SpongeBob SquarePants. Patrick asks SpongeBob if he wants another Krabby Patty, and SpongeBob replies, "Sure, Patrick!" and does his famous laugh. Ian complains that no one would like a burger that's been underwater, because then it'd be "all soggy and disgusting." Anthony tells Ian to imagine how cartoons would suck if they were actually realistic.
A Pokémon trainer (Ian) asks another trainer (Anthony) if he wants to see a "cute little rat animal" he caught and put in a Poke Ball that morning, to which the second trainer agrees to. However, when the first trainer opens the ball, all they see is the crushed, bloody corpse of a Pikachu. Both scream in horror.
A teacher (KassemG) is talking to his students (Anthony, Ian and Ryan Higa), but sounds like horns and trumpets (referencing the way adults speak in the Peanuts cartoon). However, after the kids stare in confusion, the teacher speaks normally and reveals he is just joking, saying that "those aren't even real words."
Captain Planet and the Planeteers
Captain Planet (Anthony) drives up to the Planeteers in a van and asks them if they want to save the planet. Wheeler (Ian) remembers Captain Planet from somewhere, and a flashback begins. Captain Planet walks in with a bag of wine coolers and candy while a woman says "I'm in the back. C'mon in." Wheeler (dressed as and acting like Chris Hansen) walks in and asks Captain Planet to "take a seat right over there". Planet flees in terror, screaming "Oh, sh*t!".
Stan Marsh (Ian) profusely apologizes to his mom as she washes his tongue with soap for cursing.
Homer (Ian) tells Bart (Anthony) to take out the trash. Bart replies, "Eat my shorts!" Angered at this, Homer strangles Bart. Afterwards, a newspaper shows that Homer has been arrested after twenty years of child abuse for strangling Bart.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
April is being attacked by the evil Shredder (a paper shredder), and asks Raphael to help. Raphael (as a regular turtle) is sitting nearby, nibbling on a slice of pepperoni pizza, and lets out a weak chirp.
Dragon Ball Z
Ian attempts a Kamehameha, but fails. Anthony asks him how many times he has tried it and Ian sadly replies, "over 9,000."
"We don't know anything about Invader Zim. So here's a waffle." A waffle is shown, and GIR appears on the waffle.
He-Man (Anthony) exclaims, "By the power of Grayskull, I am He-Man!" A guy walks by and tells him where the nearby gay bar is.
A robber (Anthony) tries to rob Inspector Gadget (Ian), but Gadget tries to stop him by spraying him with silly string, saying "Go Go Gadget Web Shooter!" The robber then says, "Go Go Gadget Gun!" and shoots Inspector Gadget.
The gang is walking in a hallway trying to find a person called "The Jigsaw Killer." A horrified Shaggy (Ian) describes the things that the killer has done to two people such as making a man cut off one of his own limbs with a saw and disemboweling his friend with a meat cleaver. Everyone except Shaggy, slightly disgusted, look at each other. Velma suggests they all get ice cream and both Fred and Daphne agree.
Doug Funnie (lan) is on the phone and asks Skeeter what he thinks about something. Then Skeeter (Anthony) appears. Doug screams: "WHY THE F**K ARE YOU BLUE?!"
Ian decides to grill burgers, saying "burger" with a really bad Australian accent, which Ian claims is a "Steve Irwin accent." Ian is shown outside, with his burger, smelling it. However, he trips on Shredder and drops the burger in a bucket of water. Ian remembers what he said earlier and picks up the soggy burger out of the water. He takes a bite, and exclaims, "THIS IS AMAZING!"
- The Captain Planet scene is similar to Dateline's To Catch a Predator.
- This is the second of four appearances of Ian as Chris Hansen. The first is "New Moon Deleted Scene 1". The third is in If Kids Shows Were Real The fourth is in a deleted scene of If Movies Were Real 2.
- The Captain Planet sketch has a connection to the Pee-Wee's Big Adventure in If Kids Shows Were Real.
- Captain Planet emphasizes environment conservation, but he is seen driving a truck, which gives off pollution.
- Anthony mentions Doug Funnie again in a deleted scene from Food Battle 2012, in his line: "(Various coughing/dying/choking sounds).....Doug Funnie!"
- In the DragonBall Z segment, lan tells Anthony he's tried the move over nine thousand times, referencing the "OVER 9000!!!!!!!" Meme.
- In the Scooby-Doo segment. The killer that Shaggy said the gang was tracking down was the main antagonist of the Saw franchise "The Jigsaw Killer" and he referenced the Bathroom trap with Gordon having cut his foot off.
- During the start of the Captain Planet scene, Ian is discussing the 'Double Rainbow' video.
- This is the first and so far the only "If...Were Real" episode to feature a franchise from a previous episode, this being Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, also appearing in If Video Games Were Real.
- Two years later, in 2012, Nickelodeon would release Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as a newly animated series.
- This video was removed from YouTube for violating the YouTube Terms of Service, but it is still on Smosh.com.
- "Yeah! Thanks for subscribing! This music's so intense!"
Shut Up! Opening
- "(singing) And I said "Hey!" (Hey!) What a wonderful kind of day!...SHUT UP!"
Below is the video subtitled in French: