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IF MARVEL CHARACTERS WERE REAL is a Smosh main channel video released on April 15, 2019. and is part of the If It Were Real series.


Captain Marvel, Spider-Man, Doctor Strange, and Ant-Man are all superheroes on the big screen— but what would life be like if Marvel characters were real?




  • Director: Ryan Todd
  • Writers: Ryan Finnerty, Damien Haas, Ian Hecox, Courtney Miller, Monica Vasandani, and Shayne Topp
  • Production Manager: Margo McHugh
  • Editor: Mike Small
    • Assistant: Matt Duran
  • Art Director: Steven Cirocco
  • DP/Cinematographer: Billy Yates
  • Gaffer: Trent Turner
  • Sound Operator: Greg Jones
  • Camera Operator: Brennan Iketani
  • Set Decorator: Tayler Nicholson
  • Makeup: Rachel Jenkins
  • GFX: Brittany Metz
  • Costumer: Manzi DeYoung
  • Construction: Phil Huertas
  • Script Supervisor: Merina Seidel
  • Grip: Brandy Tannahill
  • Digital Imaging Technician: Matt Duran


IF MARVEL CHARACTERS WERE REAL Thanos.png Kia is working with an office worker on something when Thanos walks in and asks her if she parked in his space again, which she confirms and nonchalantly tells him to park elsewhere. Thanos, angered, threatens to snap and, when Kia doubts so, does just that. Their coworker gasps and argues that he should be spared because he sent Thanos a Christmas card before disintegrating. Thanos ominously tells Kia that she wins this time.
IF MARVEL CHARACTERS WERE REAL Captain Marvel.png Captain Marvel proudly introduces herself when a comics nerd chuckles and, while he does not "want to be that guy", explains that Captain Marvel was originally a man in the comics and feels that that was a better representation of something, but he is interrupted as Captain Marvel shoots him with a photon blast.
IF MARVEL CHARACTERS WERE REAL Doctor Strange.png Captain America runs up Strange and explains that his body is sore from the ongoing fight against Thanos. Strange interrupts him, refusing to write another prescription for him, but relents when Cap whines that he needs ibuprofen, specifically the "big ones" that require a prescription. Strange crossly writes him a prescription for ibuprofen (and oxycodone, upon Cap's request) and hands it to Cap, who runs off.
IF MARVEL CHARACTERS WERE REAL Spider-Man.png Peter and Mary Jane are in bed and MJ starts to cuddle, which arouses and flusters him and he plays it off as his Spider-senses tingling. MJ tries to calm him, but upon contact, Peter becomes anxious and retreats under the covers. MJ watches and points out that she can still see the form of his erect penis under the comforter, causing Peter to sit up and call for his Aunt May.
IF MARVEL CHARACTERS WERE REAL Thor.png Thor is working on a birdhouse and using Mjolnir as a hammer, causing a frustrated comics nerd to explain to him that Thor no longer has long hair and he uses Stormbreaker after no longer having his hammer. Captain Marvel appears and kills him with another photon blast.
IF MARVEL CHARACTERS WERE REAL Professor X.png Wolverine approaches Professor Xavier and angrily asks him why he is in charge. Xavier reminds him of his telepathic power, which Wolverine does not accept as a reason. Xavier reaches into Wolverine's mind and casually mentions his enjoyment of "horse porn", disquieting the mutant into acting as if he has no problem with Xavier being in charge and asks him not to tell anyone. Xavier nods but taunts Wolverine on his way out.
IF MARVEL CHARACTERS WERE REAL Ant-Man.png Scott and Hope are in relationship counseling as Scott explains that he can grow and shrink as much as he wants. Hope mentions that "it's" proportional and Scott points out that "size isn't what makes the hero". Their therapist asks if they are referring to Scott's penis, which they initially deny but immediately admit that they were.


  • Kia says that Thanos's chin resembles a ballsack, but Thanos states that he styles it so. Kia calls this choice weird, but Thanos thinks that her bangs are weird and asks where the conversation will go from there. Kia says that he cannot say that to her, but Thanos says that he is HR and rhetorically asks if she will report him to HR before chuckling and calling her a fool. Thanos asks if she feels a connection with him like he is, which Kia denies. Thanos acknowledges that Kia wins this time and leaves, but stops when Kira points out that he already said that and asks if she said that she would "call him back". Kia denies this as well and asks him to "please leave [her] f*cking office". Thanos is impressed that she remembered his name while he refers to her by her car. Kia reminds him that he is a purple man in an office. Thanos responds by telling Kia that she is a "weird, fleshy color" but he does not bring that up. They bid each other goodbye but Thanos peaks his head around the doorway again before Damien breaks character and laughs with the crew.