If Board Games Were Real is a Smosh video uploaded onto the main channel. It is the seventeenth installment of the If... Were Real series
- 1 Synopsis
- 2 Plot
- 3 Cast
- 4 Trivia / Goofs
- 5 Gallery
- 6 Shut Up! Opening
- 7 Subscription Ending
- 8 Links
Everyone loves a good board game! Imagine all the board games in the world were real life scenarios. Wouldn't life be so much more fun?! What could possibly go wrong?
Ian and Anthony are in their car, having been pulled over by the cops. Ian tells Anthony not to worry because he has a "Get Out Of Jail Free Card". Anthony thinks Ian is crazy and asks him if the cards can get him out of an indecent exposure ticket. However, Ian insists that board games in real life would make their lives better. Anthony tries to make Ian realize how stupid board games would be if they were realistic.
Snakes & Ladders
Anthony is on a ladder getting snakes thrown on him.
A knight (Keith Leak) tries to take the bishop (Ian Hecox). However, the knight cannot kill the bishop because he can only move in L-shaped paths while the bishop can only move diagonally. They keep trying, but their restrictive movement patterns prevent them from doing so.
The captain (Ian Hecox) who is blindfolded tells his blindfolded assistant (Anthony Padilla) to fire a missile at section B9. The assistant follows but the missile misses the enemy battleship and instead destroys a bus full of orphans. The two realize this when they take their blindfolds off. The captain says they need a better method. The assistant asks for an example.
The doctor (Anthony Padilla) tries to replace the heart valve of the patient (which is really a mannequin). The specialist (Courtney Miller) shocks the doctor with a tazer since he touched the man's "wishbone" by mistake (referencing the buzzer that rings and ends a player's turn when the tweezers touch the metal edges of the patient's body or the wrong object to remove). The specialist takes a try at the operation but unfortunately touches his "ding-dong". So, the female doctor takes the tazer, shocks herself and falls to the floor.
Apples To Apples
Two apples are sitting on a table.
Hungry Hungry Hippos
One zookeeper (Anthony Padilla) asks another (Ian Hecox) why all of the hippos are dead. The other zookeeper tells him he put the hippos' food between them, glued their bodies to the ground so they couldn't move, and then slammed his fists repeatedly on the hippos' backs to force their necks to stretch out and try to eat their food. He also says it sounded like a good idea at first.
The clip shows a tornado destroying a house into pieces.
The clip shows Anthony with a mullet taking care of a baby. He says to himself his work sucks.
Cards Against Humanity
Anthony asks his girlfriend (Courtney Miller) what she likes to do in her free time. His girlfriend answers that she likes to "jerk off into a pool of children's tears." The man is disturbed before his girlfriend adds that she "likes f*cking children in caves.:
Ian plays Bop It!, and the machine tells him to "bop it", "twist it", pull it", and finally to "kiss it", which Ian denies to do. The machine says it loves him and calls him a babe and Ian drops it in disgust.
Two kids explore Candy Land saying the whole world is made up of candy and that it's a dream come true. Just after, the clip shows the two kids eating all of the candy. The clip ends with the two kids lying nearly unconcious as a result of diabetes. A description appears saying: "Diabetes, It's No Joke."
Anthony explains to Ian that it's stupid. Unexpectedly, Sergeant Anous (Ian Hecox) pops up and tells Anthony to get out of the car. Anthony gets out of the car with no pants and underwear on. Sergeant Anous tells Anthony to put his hands in the air and to wave them around like Anthony doesn't care that he is going to prison from 10 to 15 years. When Anthony asks what for, Sergeant Anous says that it's for indecent exposure. Anthony says no one would have seen him if Sergeant Anous didn't pull him out of the car. Sergeant Anous replies saying it's bullsh*t. Just when Anthony covers for the shot, Sergeant Anous notices a "Get Out Of Jail Free Card" placed on Anthony butt cheek. Sergeant Anous lets Anthony go, but changes his mind shortly afterwards and kills him repeatedly for leaving a crime scene. Sergeant Anous tells the dead corpse to have a good day. (JUSTICE SERVED!)
Deleted Scene: Guess Who
A detective (Anthony Padilla) and his partner (Ian Hecox) tells him which person is the killer. His partner says number three. The detective tells his partner to shut up. And asks if he was a man. His partner ignores him and says it's suspect three and tells the detective that suspect three is stabbing suspect four. The detective shuts his partner up again and asks if the killer has glasses. His partner says no. The detective gives up, and calls the suspects they are free to go. But it's too late. Suspect number three had already killed suspects one, two, and four. The detective's partner says they are dead but suspect three.
Trivia / Goofs
- On the beginning, on the screen where it said the title, there were around 30 points and were referencing one of the board game (Scrabble).
- This is one of the few times there Sgt. Anous didn't say, "BULL$#!+!!!" when he shoots someone (in this case, Anthony). However, he almost shoot him after he said the said phrase until he was distracted by the "Get Out of Jail" card placed on Anthony's butt.
- Also, the message at the end that says "JUSTICE SERVED!" is a reference to the How To ... series.
- Goof: In Chess, the chess piece can only go forward and can go according to what the piece's movement said, while in this video, the knight and the bishop moves square-ways, which breaks the chess rule(s).
- Also, there were no other chess pieces nor the king in this video, likely for simplicity.
- Another Goof: Bop It, Twister and Card Against Humanity are NOT considered board games, though they are analog games, a category of games that board games fall into, which may or may not explain whis goof/error.
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Shut Up! Opening
- "Monopoly is so much fun, I love wasting 6 hours of my life. SHUT UP!"
- "Hey there, buckos! Click the subscribe button for a Get Out Of Jail Free Card so I don't bust a cap in your ass."
Script: There is no script yet.