I'M NOT RACIST
Script by Ian and Anthony
EXT. ANTHONY'S HOUSE - DAY
Ian is now going to his flight, he stops and reminds anthony that his French cousin Pierre is staying over while his gone.
IAN
I'm gonna be late for my flight if I don't go right now.
ANTHONY
Alright, have fun in France, man!
IAN
Oh, by the way, my French cousin is staying over while I'm gone
ANTHONY
What?
IAN
Yeah, his name is Pierre. Bye!
PIERRE
'Sup, Brother!
ANTHONY
Pierre?
PIERRE
The one and only, Brother!
ANTHONY
You don't look very French.
PIERRE
You gettin' racist on me, Brother?
ANTHONY
No no, I guess I just have never seen a real French person before.
PIERRE
Ha ha, Well we're a fun much, up high, brother! (high-five) Down low! (spanks Anthony's buttocks)
PIERRE
Ughh, we should go inside, like, right now, Brother.
ITALIAN #1
We got you now!
INT. ANTHONY'S LIVING ROOM - DAY
Anthony is sitting in the living room listening pierre taking a shower, after that his phone rang.
PIERRE
mumbling in the background
ANTHONY
(Phone rings)
Hello?
IAN
Hello, man. How's Pierre?
ANTHONY
He looks and talks like Hulk Hogan.
IAN
Well, duh, they all do. Have you never seen a real French person before?
ANTHONY
Well, I guess not, but okay, there's nothing wrong with it, but, is Pierre gay?
IAN
Anthony, not all French men are gay, that sounds a little bit racist.
ANTHONY
Okay, well, earlier today he was doing some really questionable things.
INT. ANTHONY'S LIVING ROOM - DAY
ANTHONY
This is the living room and I'll show you-
Pierre holds Anthony's hand
Why are you holding my hand?
PIERRE
Why would I not? (NOT GAY)
ANTHONY
eating Spaghetti with Pierre
PIERRE
What? (NOT GAY)
ANTHONY
What are you doing!?!
PIERRE
Looking at gay porn. (NOT-OK, THAT MIGHT BE A LITTLE GAY.)
INT. ANTHONY'S LIVING ROOM - DAY
IAN
Anthony you can't be so racist! Just because his culture is different, it doesn't mean you can spread lies about his sexual orientation.
ANTHONY
He was looking at Gay Porn!
IAN
And who doesn't from time to time!?!?
ANTHONY
True.
IAN
Dude I gotta go, I've been looking at french fries for the past five hours and I can't find them anywhere.
ANTHONY
Anthony checks the door
Hey Pierre, are these your friends? They look like Richard Simmons.
PIERRE
checks the door) You idiot, that's the Italian Mafia.
ANTHONY
What the hell are they doing here?
PIERRE
I have a lot of gambling debt. (whispers out loud) I just can't say no to Naked Twister.
ITALIAN #1
Okay, it's time to eat shit and die sillies.
ITALIAN #2
Yeah! (kicks the door open) You've messed with the wrong Italians, Pierre!
PIERRE
I'm so scared right now. Hold me.
ANTHONY
What? No!
ITALIAN #2
There you are you little silly; now it's time to die.
ITALIAN #1
Any last words you cute, little butt-heads?
ANTHONY
Yeah, why are you guys acting like Richard Simmons?
ITALIAN #2
Augh. Oh, no, he did not just say that.
PIERRE
What the hell man, all Italians are like that.
ANTHONY
I thought they were like "Its a spicy meatsy paula".
ITALIAN #1
Ugh, I can't listen to this little pricks anymore!
ITALIAN #2
Enjoy being racist! And gay!
PIERRE
You're gay? Ughh!
IAN
Well, that was a quick flight. Oh, I like you guys to meet my new friends from Japan.
ANTHONY
Oh great let me guess, all Japanese people look and dress like Elvis right?
IAN
No, we just came back from an Elvis convention.
MARI
(Japanese) F***ing racist! 人種差別（じんしゅさべつ）やろクソ！, jinshusabetsu yaro kuso!) (FUCKING RACIST!)
THE END