HOMELESS MILLIONAIRE! is a Smosh video uploaded on March 23, 2012.
Continuing where I LOST MY HAIR! left off, Anthony desperately tries to make money to pay for his half of the rent, but he can't get a job because he's bald. However, Anthony soon makes money off of his baldness.
Recap: Previously on Smosh, Anthony lost all his hair... I guess that's it. Enjoy.
Anthony is seen attempting to put hair on his head, by using a mop brush, but throws it aside, complaining that he looks "hideous." Ian comes in and reminds Anthony that he has to pay half the rent. However, Anthony points out that with his bald head can't get him any jobs, so he should be cut a break. But Ian reminds Anthony last time he couldn't pay his half of the rent.
The last time that happened, Anthony got mad and threw Ian out of the house and yells at Ian that he's sleeping in the dogloo until he gets the money. Anthony admits that he was “a little rough” on him and tries to tell him to give him a break. But Ian still throws Anthony out and yells at him that he can't come back inside until he gets the money for the rent.
Anthony sadly sat down on the sidewalk when a couple passing by notices him. The woman thinks that he’s gross, but the man kindly gives Anthony two dollars. The woman argues that Anthony might use the money to buy crack, but the man refutes that they were going to too. Anthony sees the money and gets an idea, before getting surprised at the light bulb that suddenly appeared above his head when he got the idea.
Ian answers the door and reminds Anthony of their deal when Anthony dumps out lots of cash out of his bag. Ian thinks that Anthony became a prostitute, but Anthony tells him that all he did was that he sat on a corner depressed and people gave him money as they walked by. When Ian finds out that Anthony’s a panhandler, Ian tells Anthony to “get a real job.” Anthony tells him that it’s the first real thing that he’s good at and if Ian can’t accept that, they should break up as BFFs. The two angrily throw their BFF necklaces to the ground and Anthony leaves. Ian was seen crying as Peter pops up and asks if he can be Ian’s best friend, even stating that he grew a beard. Ian becomes angry and he yells at Peter to "fu*k off" and shoots him in the fallopian tube.
Meanwhile, Anthony starts holding up a sign saying "I'm bald, give me money, bitch!", to get people to give him money, but a man on a scooter gives him a burger. Anthony angrily tells the man to give him money next time. Meanwhile at home, Ian reflects on what he has done and decides to “fix this and make things right” before realizing that he needs to get rid of Peter’s body.
Ian walks up to Anthony doing his job, where Anthony tells him that he got a new best friend named Hobo Joe. Ian says that he thinks that he’s dead, but Anthony says that “Hobo Joe just likes naps.” Ian asks if he could join in on the panhandling, but Anthony points out that Ian’s not bald and angrily yells at him to "get out," causing Ian to cry and later, sing a song about how much he misses Anthony.
4 hours later, Ian comes up to Anthony wearing a bald cap. Anthony at first accepts him, but quickly realizes that Ian was wearing a bald cap. Ian pleads that he wanted to fit in, but Anthony tells Hobo Joe to read Rule Number 1 of the panhandler’s notebook. However, Hobo Joe has trouble reading the Rule number 1 part out loud, so Anthony ends up reading it for him. The rule is that anyone faking baldness will be executed. Three men grab Ian as Anthony takes out a knife.
However, Ian argues that Anthony’s not even bald, confusing him. Ian explains that while Anthony was at the hospital, he bribed the doctor to put a bald cap on Anthony. Anthony grabs his bald head and pulls, revealing that Ian is true and that he never lost his hair. Ian admits that he initially thought it would be funny, but then it became “all sad and scary.” The two reconcile their friendship. Hobo Joe points out that both Ian and Anthony are fakers, and the two end up being chased by the bald men to escape execution, all the while singing about how they made up.
Meanwhile, the internet troll Hugh Jasshol watching this video shouts, “GAY! WHY DON'T YOU TWO FARIES GET MARRIED ALREADY!? UNSUBSCRIBE!”. Just as he is about to unsubscribe from Smosh, Ian and Anthony appear and beat Hugh to death. They high-five before the message is shown: “INTERNET JUSTICE!”
BFF Song Lyrics
During the video, Ian sings a song about how much he misses Anthony.
My BFF, there's nothing left, But memories and sadness We used to be oh so happy All giggles, goofs and gladness Why did I have to try to get that rent you pay? When all it did was make you mad And drove you far away!
B You were the bestest friend F I'll never forget again Other F I never did intend To upend, condescend, or offend my best friend
B I'll win you back someday F I swear I'll find a way Other F Until then my skies are grey Want to say if you stay I will pay for a toupee
Ian and Anthony sing together when they're reunited
My BFF, I'm glad you're back And everything's all good. These gross hobos are trying to kill us now, So let's get the fuck/f*** (uncensored on iTunes) out of the hood
B We are the bestest friends F We'll never fight again Other F I'm happy to amend. And defend. Comprehend. On depend. My best friend.
A clip from Toy Airplane is seen in Ian's thought bubble during the BFF song.
The sign Anthony made to receive money read: "I'm Bald. Give Me Money, BITCH!", but before the end of Ian's BFF song, it read "I'm Bald. Blah, Blah, Blah, Gimme Your Money."
The dude in a suit on a bike that gave the burger to Anthony (who then shoved it in his face) was actually a vegan.
Ian's and Anthony's BFF necklaces suddenly appear and reappear when they make up.
The BFF song is uncensored on iTunes, although it is not considered explicit in the single version, only on the Smoshtastic album version.
The Panhandlers' Rulebook is actually a rectangle-piece of cardboard that folded to make it look like a book.
It's unknown why the homeless man from the previous episode didn't reappear in this episode, considering he "placed a curse" on Anthony for making fun of his baldness. However, Hobo Joe looked similar to the homeless man.
In this video as well as the previous one Peter is pretty much just the punching bag, now Stevie is the punching bag.
This is the conversation between the first couple that game money to Anthony:
Woman: You know he is just going to use it to buy crack, right?
Man: Well, so do we.
"Thanks for subscribing! And if you don't mind, I'm gonna go beat up some trolls! (Troll) OW! OH! OW! OH! Fake!"
Shut Up! Opening
"Bald people must be so rich, they don't have to buy shampoo! SHUT UP!"