Ian and Anthony play an intense game of hide and seek...
In the living room, Ian tries to make an agreement that the winner of a hide and seek game gets to play Dragon Ball Z For Kinect first. Anthony disagrees and thinks it's the worst prize ever because he thinks the Kinect sucks and that Ian is the worst hider in the history of hiding.
Anthony has found Ian behind a window curtain, in the shower, on his bed under the blanket, behind a cardboard cutout of him crouching, and behind a lamp post. Ian says, "Frick nuggets!" after being found every time.
Ian confesses and tells Anthony that he has a better hiding spot where Anthony will never find him. Anthony thinks that he'll find Ian within fifteen seconds. Ian thinks it's more like fifteen dog-years thinking it's longer than fifteen years.
Sometime later after Anthony starts to hide Ian, Ian hides under the dining table between two chairs, and his butt sticking out of the table facing the window. Anthony thought at first Ian was hiding at the spots he hid before.
By the window sill, Anthony only found one of Ian's jeans just standing by the window. In the bathroom, Anthony finds a Justin Bieber blow-up doll in the bathtub. He said "Frick balls!" after every time he couldn't find Ian. Ian laughs in his hiding spot.
In Ian's room, Anthony finds a bump on Ian's bed thinking Ian is under the sheets. He beats up the bump to see if Ian is there. Anthony uncovers the blanket, but sees Stevie, apologizes to him, walks away backwards while whistling. Ian.
In the living room, Anthony tells Ian that he can come out of the hiding spot. However, Ian just stays at his spot. Anthony says that he's serious and wants to end the game, but Ian won't come out. Anthony acts like he's playing Dragon Ball Z For Kinect by himself to get Ian's attention by punching in the air (since that's one of the techniques on how to play the game).
Day 1, Ian writes a journal about him being under the table for three hours straight. He also writes that Anthony tries to lure him, but he won't fall for it. Anthony tries to convince Ian to come out by saying things like him eating Ian's pink-frosted sprinkled donuts, using his blow-up doll, popping his bubble-wrap, sending all of his nude photos to his mom, and eating all of his grandpa's ashes. This doesn't convince Ian to get out of hiding and thought that Anthony thought he left the house or something. Anthony thought that since he's all alone, he'll play with his "junk" even though he's right near Ian.
Day 6, Ian finds a piece of bread under the table. He puts a face on the bread for company. He names his new friend Kelly since he can't find its balls and thought that he should give it a gender neutral name.
Meanwhile in the living room, Anthony plays with his "junk" which are actual worthless items. Anthony feels bored after knowing that Ian loves it when he sees Anthony playing with his junk. Anthony then decides to have a "circle jerk" on the couch.
Day 10, Ian thought that Kelly felt down in the dumps and wants to cheer him or her up (while still thinking about its gender because he still hasn't found his balls). Ian hallucinates thinking that Kelly is hungry and wants to find something for the both of them to eat. Ian said that there was no food under the table. Kelly asks about Anthony which Ian doesn't want to eat him. Kelly said that Anthony has food. Ian doesn't want to come out until Anthony finds him and declares him of being the best hider of all time so he tells Kelly to shut up. Kelly tells Ian to chill out.
Meanwhile in the living room, Anthony circles everyone in his yearbook thinking that they're all jerks. Anthony feels bored and decides to masturbate since he's all alone.
Day 21, Ian writes about Anthony being in the bathroom doing what sounds like weight-lifting. Ian just knows that he's starving to death and needs to find something to eat. Kelly doesn't want to be eaten by Ian. Ian tries to convince Kelly to be eaten, but it still doesn't want to be eaten. Kelly tries to convince Ian to not eat it, but Ian made his decision and eats Kelly. Kelly cries in pain as Ian eats him.
Day ??, Ian is an old man with a huge gray beard and long gray hair. Finally, Anthony sees Ian under the table, asking him what he's doing. Ian comes out and assumes that Anthony is ready to "admit" that he is the "best hide-and-seeker of all time". However, he is revealed to be Anthony's grandson and that Anthony is his grandpa, which confuses Ian. The old Anthony is shown playing on a new Xbox and tells Ian that it's been 50 years since he went missing. Ian asks Anthony about the new Xbox, to which he says it's an Xbox 36. Ian also asks him about how the Kinect works. To which Anthony tells him that "it still sucks balls". The Kinect searches the internet for "old men sucking balls". To which Anthony screams "OW! MY EYES!!"
Ian questions if slices of bread are boys or girls. Kelly, inside Ian's stomach, says that he's a man which Ian got freaked out and then faints. Anthony afterwards calls Ian a jackass.
On the fifth day Anthony couldn't find Ian, he decides to "beat his meat". He actually beats his steak with a meat mallet.
Under the table, Ian felt hungry and thinks he needs to adapt to survive. After sniffing Anthony's food, Ian reaches for Anthony's plate, grabs the plate with steak and bread on it, and eats only the entire steak from the plate. Anthony thought that he ate so fast, that he didn't even realized he actually ate at all.
When Anthony is hitting [what he thinks is] Ian on the bed, like always, it is the bed from Sleeping Pill Disaster.
If Anthony could not find Ian for 50 years, he could have called for help. It could be possible he gave up looking for Ian.
According to Anthony at the end, Ian was missing for 50 years. It is impossible to survive for 50 years without eating anything except for bread. It is also impossible for anyone living in the house to not use the dining table for 50 years assuming that they always eat out and never bothered to use the dining table.
Kelly, at the epilogue, tells Ian that he is a man. It would have been impossible for him to talk because, considering that 50 years have passed since Ian ate him, he was already fully digested.
Since Anthony was all alone, he tried figuring out things to do to pass his time by himself. All the things he proposed to do were: "playing with his junk", "having a circle jerk", "beating his meat", (deleted scene), and finally masturbating. All those things which Anthony proposed were all synonyms of masturbation. Though Anthony literally did those things.