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Seymour Tayntz
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Portrayer:
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Gender:
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Male
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Age:
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40s-50s
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Likes:
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Directing, filming, clear faces, Anthony having a pizza facial
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Dislikes:
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Being cockblocked, zits, Siri
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Seymour Tayntz is a character portrayed by Ian Hecox.
The Character[]
Seymour is shown to be somewhat impatient and passionate about his job and the customers.
Seymour is also seen to be perverted, flirtatious and lustful. He orgasms at Anthony splashing water on his face and commenting on how pretty and baby-like his face is. He watches Anthony having a pizza facial, thinking it was hot. Seymour gets attracted to Anthony's grandmother, only to reveal that it was Anthony in disguise. Seymour initially gets mad for being cockblocked, but also doesn't care and wants to be with Anthony.
Appearances[]
BIGGEST ZIT EVER![]
Seymour first appears as a major character here, where he is shown to be a commercial director. When Anthony first splashes the water on his face, Seymour didn't like that, and wanted him to do it with more pressure. Then, Seymour proceeds to demonstrates this. When Anthony copies this, Seymour has an orgasmic reaction, and immediately hires him. Seymour tells Anthony that the commercial will be shot in two days, and insists that Anthony cannot get a zit on his face.
The next day, Seymour checks in with Anthony to see if had any breakouts. Seymour knew Anthony had a pizza facial last night because he was watching it and thought it was hot. Anthony lies about having clear skin, Seymour buys this and says that he'll check on him later.
Later, Seymour waits behind the door to see Anthony disguised as an old lady. Seymour falls for this and thinks that it's Anthony's grandmother. Anthony once again claims that he doesn't have any zits at all. Seymour is in relief, thanking Anthony. Then suddenly, Seymour sees Anthony as "an old sexy woman version of Anthony." Seymour flirts with Anthony until he takes off the disguise to reveal himself. Seymour complains about being cockblocked. Anthony says he's a dude, but Seymour doesn't care. Anthony is disgusted by this. Because of Anthony "cockblocking", Seymour fires him.
If TV Shows Were Real[]
Seymour is the director of a Jersey Shore episode. He gets frustrated and yells at The Situation (Anthony) for not punching Snooki hard enough, explaining that reality TV has to look real. Seymour takes this scene again and again, as Snooki progressively gets bloodily hurt. Seymour enjoys this, as he is happy for Snooki to get hurt a lot. Seymour then suggests for the next shot, The Situation should punch Snooki in the uterus.
HOLY CRAP! 2 BILLION VIEWS![]
Seymour yells at Ian and Anthony for to shut them up because he's filming and directing a film with Boxman, That Damn Neighbor, and Ian's Mom. Then, they all continue to film a live action film where Connor Kenway uses a tomahawk to chop up Barbershop Pole, while Ultimate Assassin's Creed 3 Song plays in the background.
TRAILER: "If It Were Real Saga"[]
Seymour calls Ian on the phone to tell him that he and Anthony are late for the clip show for "If [blank] were real]".
Trivia[]
- It is heavily implied that Seymour is bi, since he is shown to be attracted to both Anthony and Anthony's grandmother (even though Anthony disguised as her)
- His name is a pun on "see more taints". "Taint" is a slang term for the area between the groin and buttocks.
| Characters | ||
| Ian Hecox Characters |
Ian Hecox (character) - Sergeant Anous - REDACTED - Boxman - Bob Roberts - Billy Hamburger - Billy Mays - Benny Jean - Metrosexual Hipster - Adrian Hecox-Hendrix - Frankie Rogers - Adam - Bella Swan | |
| Anthony Padilla Characters |
Anthony Padilla (character) - Antoinette Padilla - Ash Ketchum - Brent Hamburger - Cletus - Manspider - Amy Franklin - Edward Cullen | |
| Shayne Topp Characters |
The Chosen - Aunt Carolyn - Courtney Freaking Miller - Bryce Chryson - Dumpster Wizard - Man Who Just Stands There - CHIPS GHOST | |
| Courtney Miller Characters |
Brianna Boho - Dominic Perignon - Gerald Cakes - Shayne Freakin' Topp | |
| Damien Haas Characters | ||
| Amanda Lehan-Canto Characters | ||