Ian sits in his kitchen while reading the catalog. At that moment, a nude and wet Anthony stomps into the room and demands a rematch. Ian suggests that he sees a doctor instead after spending the last eight months dead in his pool. However, Anthony claims that he feels fine, and challenges Ian to a new food battle with his new favorite food, celery. Ian accepts as he takes a bite out of two donuts at once and Food Battle 2007 begins.
"Let's see whose food can be an oven mitt!"
—Ian challenging Anthony[src]
Ian challenges Anthony to see whose food can be used as an oven mitt.
Anthony attempts to pick up a pan of freshly-baked treats from the oven in Ian's kitchen with two sticks of celery, but, unable to secure a grip, fumbles it and drops the pan and treats on the floor. Result: X
Ian manages to pick up the pan but drops it after the pan burns his hands as Ian screams in pain. As Ian lifts his hand, it is shown that he had a finger through each donut hole. Result: X
Anthony: "Let's see if your donut can be a... squeegee!"
Ian: "Pff. I know for a fact my donut can beat your celery, and if you used Wikipedia more often, maybe you would know that before donuts were used for eating, they were used for cleaning windows."
— Anthony challenging Ian[src]
Anthony challenges Ian to see whose food can perform better as a squeegee. Ian claims that donuts were actually used as window cleaner before food, citing Wikipedia.
Ian encourages his donut to "squeegee away" and proceeds to wipe his car's windshield with the donut, leaving a trail of donut goo on the glass. seeing the mess, Ian curses "those Wikipedia bastards!". Result: X
Anthony, ready for "squeegee time", manages to wipe most of the water off the windshield, using his celery. As a result, Anthony becomes visibly happy. Result: ✓
Ian: "Let's take a stab at a knife!"
Anthony: "Let's take a stab at your mom with my dictionary!"
— Ian challenging Anthony.[src]
Ian challenges Anthony to "take a stab at" seeing whose food can be used as a cutting knife, making a pun. In response, Anthony jokingly blurts out that they should "take a stab at" Ian's mother with his "big dick-tionary", pulling out a copy of Webster's New American Dictionary, to Ian's disgust.
Anthony pumps himself for the challenges and asks Ian to hand him the baguette. Ian complies, asking if he is referring to the baguette, mispronouncing it as "baggot," upsetting Anthony, who corrects Ian and swipes the baguette from him. Anthony promptly attempts to slice through the baguette with his celery, but after a few seconds, the celery snaps in half. Ian laughs at an infuriated Anthony. Result: X
Ian Ian brags that his donut's ability to "chop this baggot in half with one fatal swipe!" As an unimpressed Anthony watches, Ian slams the donut into the celery, cleanly cutting in in two. Ian makes a wild face at the camera while Anthony stares in shock. Result: ✓
Ian: "Are you down for a pogo stick?"
Anthony: "Yeah, I'm down, like Judge Joe Brown!"
— Ian challenging Anthony[src]
Ian challenges Anthony to see whose food can be better used as a pogo stick. Anthony accepts and, getting in Ian's face, compares himself to American lawyer and television personality Joe Brown.
Ian begs for his donut to not let him down and proceeds to run forward and jump, holding his donut with both hands as he attempts to use it as a pogo stick. He lands on the donut but keels over as he grunts in pain. Result: X
Anthony commands his donut to "bounce [him] to victory", takes a bite out of it, and runs forward and jumps in the same fashion as Ian. However, unlike Ian, Anthony manages to bounce rather high, breaking both of his legs upon landing. He expresses surprise that the stunt worked. Result: ✓
Robbing a defenseless person
Anthony: "How about... rob a defenseless person?"
Ian: "I'll rob you of this win! Ha... (burp)"
— Anthony challenging Ian[src]
Anthony challenges Ian to see whose food can be used as a tool for mugging people. Ian jokingly boasts that he will likewise "rob" Anthony of the challenge's win and gives a half-hearted laugh, followed by a burp, as Anthony stares at him in disappointment.
Anthony silently approaches a woman he intends to rob (Ian Hecox) before abruptly whipping out his celery like a knife and ordering her to give him her money. Instead of complying, however, the woman panics, slaps Anthony in the face with her purse, and flees. Result: X
Ian approaches a different woman he intends to rob (Anthony Padilla) and orders her to give him her money. Oblivious to the threat, the woman grabs the donut and asks how much he wants for it. Ian repeats that he wants everything in her purse. The woman happily obliges, handing her purse over as she enjoys the donut, to Ian's happiness. Result: ✓
Fishing for people
Anthony: "Let's see how good your donut is with... we're fishing for people!"
Ian: "That'll be easy! Everyone loves donuts!"
Anthony: "Well, not yours, 'cause yours are pink, and pink is for little girls!"
—Anthony challenging Ian[src]
Anthony challenges Ian to see whose food can be better used as bait for people. Ian comments that such a task will be easy, as everyone loves donuts. Anthony retorts that Ian's donut is an exception, as they are pink, a color only enjoyed by young girls.
With his donut tied to a string, Ian tosses it out onto the sidewalk right before a pedestrian approaches. To Ian's excitement, the man seems to notice the donut, but instead picks up a penny adjacent to it and comments that "it must be [his] lucky day", to Ian's despair. Result: X
Anthony swings his celery before tossing it out onto the sidewalk, right in front of Benny Jean. Initially startled, Benny Jean soon notices that it is celery in front of him, and proceeds to chase it as Anthony reels it in. Benny Jean chases the celery past a fence, through the front yard, and under a nearby car before finally catching and devouring it. Result: ✓
Ian: "I'd like to see you beat me when our food is used as a steering wheel!"
Anthony: "This'll be easy!"
Ian: "Yeah, as easy as my mom! High five!"
—Ian challenging Anthony[src]
For the final challenge, Ian decides on a steering wheel. Anthony comments that the challenge will be easy, to which Ian responds by jokingly comparing the perceived ease of the challenge to his mother, to Anthony's disgust.
Ian, psyched to win because of his "lucky white T-shirt", starts slowly accelerating. He repeatedly tries to use his donut instead of the steering wheel and, when the car does not respond, begins to panic. He screams before crashing into a sign as Anthony watches in horror. Result: X
Anthony does not participate in this challenge.
After crashing his car, Ian opens the door and falls out of the car, but claims that he is fine. However, as Anthony watches, Ian stands up and checks his pulse, noticing that it is "faint and irregular", and asks Anthony if that is normal. He starts vomitting blood, staining his T-shirt, and also asks if that is normal. At this point, Ian feels no pulse in his neck, a feeling he describes as "really trippy" and "awesome". Soon after, as Anthony watches on in shock, Ian collapses to the ground.
Sometime after, as Anthony is still rooted to the spot, the Food Battle Reporter (Brian Rassmussen) approaches him and informs him that he has won Food Battle 2007, to his excitement. The Reporter asks what he plans to do next, and Anthony enthusiastically responds that he is going to return home and watch Toy Story. The Reporter asks if he can join and Anthony tells him "Hell yeah!".