Script[]
MAILMAN
(Rings the doorbell several times while holding a box)
Got another package for ya!
ANTHONY
Awesome!
(Opens box to reveal a stuffed cat inside)
It's perfect!
MAILMAN
That's like the 10th one this week! What's it for?
ANTHONY
Let me show you!
(Cuts to Ian's room, filled with cats)
ANTHONY
This is my kitten room.
(Everything kittens in the room)
MAILMAN
Oooh.
Anthony: Yeah, see ever since I beat Ian in Food Battle 2011, I thought, "Hey, why not do something awesome with his room?"
Mailman: I heard you didn't actually beat him, cause it was never officially announced.
(11 months, one week, and one day earlier)
Anthony: Oh god no...J-just to say I've won Food Battle!
Announcer: A-Anthony, you just won...(groans before dying)
Anthony: No...(looks at Ian)...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Flashback ends)
Anthony: (now with a new shirt) I won fair and square! I don't need some stupid guy with the microphone to tell me if I won or not!
Mailman: Ok man, whatever. So, why kittens? Why not elephants or parro...
Ian: (pops up out of nowhere as a zombie, supposedly killing the mailman in the process) I'm Back!
Anthony: Great.
Ian: Hey, hey aren't you happy I'm back?
Anthony: Nope.
Ian: Well, don't you at least want to know how I escaped the Underworld?
Anthony: Double nope.
Ian: I had to fight the toughest fight of my life to get out of there.
(scene cuts to Hell, with Ian playing Twister)
Ian: I'm having a so much fun, Grim Reaper! (Spins) Right hand red!
Grim Reaper: (tries to reach but fails) Whatever man! You win! JUST LEAVE!
(scene cuts back to hallway)
Ian: So, now that I'm back I think it's time for Food Battle 2012, you have two seconds to choose your food.
Anthony: What?! I'd would way more time than that!
Ian: Okay, you have two minutes to choose your food!
Anthony: Can I get like two months?
Ian: Okay, fine! Two months! I need to get a little reconstructive surgery anyway. No girl wants a guy that looks like a zombie, stupid right?
Anthony: Totally.
Ian: And I should probably do something about my stench.
Anthony: No dude, you smelled like that way before you died.
Ian: Oh...
Narrator: Food Battle 2012 is almost here! And Anthony needs Your help to pick his food--
Anthony: No, I Don't! I can just choose it my--
Narrator: You can choose from these following Badass foods--
Anthony: But wait! I-I could just...
Ian: Shhh! Let the polite man do his thing!
Anthony: Fine. Go ahead!