FOOD BATTLE 2012 ANNOUNCEMENT! is a Smosh video uploaded on August 31, 2012.
Brief Synopsis: Ian comes back from the dead and Anthony has to choose his food for Food Battle 2012.
The delivery man repeatedly presses on the doorbell. Anthony opens the door and the package which reveals a stuffed cat. He thought it was perfect and the delivery guy wondered why Anthony ordered so many cat figures. Anthony leads them into Ian's room which is his kitten room. The delivery guy was astonished and Anthony tells him that ever since he won Food Battle 2011 he would change Ian's room. The delivery guy even mentioned that he really didn't win Food Battle because it was not officially announced.
In Food Battle 2011, Ian died along with the announcer and Anthony yells, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" but back to the present, he won fair and square and doesn't need a guy with a microphone to tell him if he won or not. The delivery guy didn't care and wonders why Anthony chose kittens; all of the sudden, Ian came back as a zombie and sneaks up on him for revenge, but Anthony didn't care. Anthony doesn't even want to know how Ian came back from the underworld. Ian thought he had to fight the toughest fight to get out.
Earlier in the underworld, Ian is having fun with the Grim Reaper playing Twister. Ian turned the spinner to right hand red. Ian put his right hand on red, but Grim couldn't stretch it far enough to a red dot and gives up. For his loss, he releases Ian out of the underworld.
Back to the present, Ian thinks it is time for Food Battle 2012, after being in the underworld. Anthony had two seconds to choose his food, but he needed more time. Ian gave him two minutes to choose, but Anthony wanted something like two months to choose. Ian felt fine with that and gave him two months to choose since he wanted to get some reconstruction surgery on his face for the girls. Even Anthony agrees with Ian. Ian even wants to change his stench, but Anthony thought he smelled as bad before he died. The narrator says that Food Battle 2012 is almost here and Anthony needs the viewers' help picking the food. However, Anthony doesn't need help. The narrator tells the viewers that they can choose from the following badass foods. Anthony was about to say he can choose the food himself, but Ian wanted the narattor to talk anyway which had no chose. The narattor says that the food with the most votes gets to battle in 2012. The foods are an egg roll, licorice, chocolate bar donut, candy bar, banana, eggplant, fried turkey leg, and mozzarella stick. The narrator then says to go vote everyday at Smosh.com and watch each food's campaign video to vote for the food or die.
- This is the first Food Battle where campaign videos were made for each food.
- When El Smosh's version appeared, the Licorice was already voted off of the tournament.
- Mozzarella Stick is depicted as a raw stick of string cheese (which is commonly mozzarella cheese), when in reality, "mozzarella sticks" are more commonly known as deep-fried sticks of mozzarella cheese served as an appetizer.
- The votes are more of a tournament than a bar graph; so it's more of what food has more votes compared to the other foods.
- In the scene where Anthony tells the postman that he won fair and square, Anthony's shirt changes from black to a green shirt that reads: "I'M THE FOOD BATTLE 2011 CHAMPION, BITCH!"
- The room that Anthony shows the delivery man that was originally Ian's room and is now Anthony's cat room, wasn't actually Ian's original room, but in fact Anthony's room.
Shut Up! Opening
- "Are you guys ever gonna make Food Battle 2012?! SHUT UP!"
- "Click the link! Click it! And vote! Errr! All this talk of food is making me hungry! See ya, losers!"
- "If you don't watch it, I'm replacing your d**k with a cucumber!"
A highly skilled ninja asassin, Egg Roll broke every rule. He was silent as the wind, wise as the owl, and deadlier than a pissed-off great white shark with a shotgun tail. But eventually, he found the one rule even he couldn't break - that true love conquers all. He married a stick of celery, and gave up his ninja past to live a happy life. But returning home one night, Egg Roll found Celery being held at gunpoint by Corn Dog, a minion of the evil mastermind Pink Frosted Sprinkled Donut, whom Corn Dog says sent his regards. Corn Dog shoots Celery dead and escapes. A heartbroken Egg Roll is told by a dying Celery to avenge her, to which Egg Roll agrees. In a secret base, as Corn Dog reports Celery's killing to his master via a video screen, he is suddenly impaled with a sword and killed by Egg Roll. Egg Roll says to Pink Frosted Sprinkled Donut through the video screen, "No matter where you run, no matter how hard you try to hide, I will find you, and you will pay, with sugar and blood!"
The narrator tells the viewers to vote for Egg Roll so that he can get revenge and avenge Celery.
Three kids sing a song about licorice being the best food in the world.
It can be black, it can be red!
On the moon, or in your bed!
It's the best food in the world!
In the pocket of your pants!
In the west or old time France!
It's the best food in the world!
It makes me happy and it totally rocks!
I once used it to wrangle a croc!
And now I'm the coolest kid on the block!
I like to stroke it just like my...
It can be red, it can be black!
So pink donut, watch your back!
On your skull it's going to crack!
It's the best food in the world!
It's the best food in the world!
Best food in the wooorrrld!
After the song, the narrator tells the viewers to vote for Licorice or the kids will never stop singing the song.
A police detective in his office, Candy Bar is interrogating Pink Frosted Sprinkled Donut. He tells Pink Donut that someone has taken a bite out of him, and demands that he tell him who did it, as he apparently knows who did it. Pink Frosted Sprinkled Donut talks about him formerly playing trombone in a marching band in Detroit. Candy Bar tells him to stop fooling around and once again demands an answer. Pink Donut said that he knows a super fat guy the size of a hippopotamus that he knows likes candy bars; however, Candy Bar thought that Corn Dog took a bite out of him so that Pink Donut would take the fall. Pink Donut knows that Corn Dog wouldn't do it, as he was friends with him. Candy Bar objects, saying Corn Dog doesn't have any friends. Candy Bar thinks that Corn Dog used Pink Donut to frame him for taking a bite of Candy Bar. Pink Donut asked why Corn Dog framed a stupid pastry like him instead of anyone else. Candy Bar said it was because he is a stupid pastry. Candy Bar angrily sends Pink Donut out of the office room so he can find Corn Dog and get revenge, to which Pink Donut disappointedly does. Candy Bar then finds evidence on his bulletin board that points toward the possibility that Pink Donut had taken a bite out of him: A small flyer for the Detroit marching band that Pink Donut was formerly in, and a photo of a hippopotamus (which references the hippo-size fat man that Pink Donut talked about) Shocked, he drops his coffee mug, which shatters on the ground. A client at the police station where Candy Bar works gives him a newly finished sketch of who bit him. The sketch is of Pink Frosted Sprinkled Donut. An infuriated Candy Bar cries out, "DONUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!!!!!!!!!!!"
The narrator tells the viewers to vote for Candy Bar so that Pink Frosted Sprinkled Donut will face justice.
Chocolate Bar Donut
Chocolate Bar Donut has defeated gods, burned cities to the ground, and caused the Black Plague twice. He is a lover, a fighter, and a lover of fighters. And as an entry for Food Battle 2012, he aims to send Pink Frosted Sprinkled Donut straight to Hell. A flame-engulfed Pink Frosted Sprinkled Donut screams, "Aaah! My sugary goodness makes me burn so much faster!"
The narrator then says to vote for Chocolate Bar Donut so he can make the nightmares of all pink frosted sprinkled donuts come true. As the narrator continues speaking, Chocolate Bar Donut approaches the narrator and stabs him offscreen.
Banana is hosting his own talk show, titled Banana Time. Banana welcomes the audience, and takes his first caller, Tomato, who appears on a communication screen. Tomato asks how Banana became so awesome. Banana said that his secret is working hard, eating right, and treating everybody awesome. The audience applauds. Banana takes his next caller, who is Pink Frosted Sprinkled Donut, who claims Banana has insulted him. Banana said that he isn't mean to anyone knowing that he is full of potassium and fun. The audience cheers and applauds again. Pink Donut replies, "Well that's funny, because I heard you were full of s**t and being a pussy!", leaving the audience shocked. Banana asks if everything Donut is saying is all a practical joke by his mother. Donut retorts, "The only joke is how much you're gonna lose if we fight in Food Battle!", to which Banana says that bananas never fight. Donut asks, "Why? Are you chicken?" As his peel turns bright red, Banana furiously screams, "No one compares me to POULTRY!!!", then immediately goes ballistic and begins destroying the set and attacking the audience. Banana then says angrily, "You've done it now, Pink Donut. I'm coming for you, and I'm gonna shove myself down your pink, frosty THROAT!!!"
The narrator tells the viewers to vote for banana or he'll violently shove himself down their throats.
Various people are interviewed about Eggplant and how it tastes incredibly horrible.
What is the worst-tasting food of all time?
A married couple and their daughter, an old woman, a fat construction worker, a rapper, and even a dog state that Eggplant is the worst-tasting food of all time.
Why is Eggplant so bad?
The married couple's daughter replies, "It's like if zucchini had a younger and nastier little brother that they beat up all the time and took all the flavor out of it." The fat construction worker replies, "It's like a big, purple swollen di--" and is cut off by the old woman, who says, "Because it tastes like s---" but also gets cut off. The dog replies, (through translation) "I'm a dog." The rapper says, "Eggplant yo!" again, as he did when responding to the first question.
Do you wish Eggplant never existed?
The couple and their daughter, and the dog agree. The rapper says again, "Eggplant yo!" while pouring a bottle of water over his head. The fat construction worker claims he has an inadequacy problem with Eggplant, as he always gets jealous when Eggplant is near him, and he always ends up having to fight it. The couple's daughter says that Eggplant once made her pregnant with twins. The old woman, the dog, and the rapper say they had the problem also, but with triplets.
The narrator says to vote Eggplant for Food Battle 2012, just as a guy steps on an eggplant and complains of getting it all over his shoe. The narrator then says that Eggplant needs more friends.
Fried Turkey Leg
Various foods holding a banner ask the viewers, "Which food will you pick?" Crashing the scene in a Jeep with built in sparklers that burn up the banner, it's none other than Fried Turkey Leg, the most kick-ass food of all, if he says so himself.
Fried Turkey Leg is then seen with a man sitting on lawn chairs and drinking beer outside the man's house. Fried Turkey Leg claims he will defeat the Pink Frosted Sprinkled Donut in Food Battle 2012. The man spits out his beer and says, "Man, you can't do nothing but get eaten, you dumb turkey leg!" Angered at this remark, Fried Turkey Leg begins punching and smacking the man's face, breaking his nose. The man says, "You broke my f**king nose man!" to which Fried Turkey Leg replies, "Don't you mean your dick?" and slams himself into the man's groin. The man screams in pain.
Fried Turkey Leg, in the arms of a "pretty" girl, tells the viewers to vote for him and he'll beat the living s**t out of the Pink Frosted Sprinkled Donut in Food Battle. The girl says, "Oh, Fried Turkey Leg, you so cool!" and smiles, revealing she is missing a front tooth. The narrator tells the viewers to vote for Fried Turkey Leg or he'll never take a shower. Fried Turkey Leg adds, "That's right, bitch!"
Mozzarella Stick, a rich young stick of cheese, thought he had it all: cars, money, and babes. But there was still one thing he didn't have: the affection of his crush, Glazed Donut. Mozzarella's friend Gouda asks him why he just won't say hello to her. Mozzarella replies that Glazed Donut is a pastry - not cheese, and that his parents would disapprove.
Mozzarella Stick is then talking with his parents. His mother says, "I'm not gonna let my only son be in a relationship with some sugary pastry!" Mozzarella says to his father, "Dad, help me out here." Mozzarella's father says that they met a slice of Swiss cheese whom he says would be a great girlfriend for Mozzarella, but Mozzarella knows he wants to love Glazed Donut.
Mozzarella is talking with Gouda again, who says, "You have to decide what's more important: living up to your parents' expectations, or love and happiness." Mozzarella agrees, and leaves to greet his true love.
Mozzarella runs to Glazed Donut, and declares his love for her. Before Glazed Donut can say anything, who should crash the scene but Pink Frosted Sprinkled Donut, driving a pink sports car. Pink Donut says, "Sorry cheese-brain! This girl's mine! Glazed Donut gets in Pink Donut's sports car, saying, "I'm sorry, Mozzarella, you're a nice guy and all, but..."
Pink Donut drives off with Glazed Donut, laughing, as Mozzarella screams out "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Mozzarella then declares that Pink Donut must be destroyed for stealing his one true love.
The narrator says to vote for Mozzarella so he can win back his true love.
Food Battles and Rankings
- Licorice vs. Egg Roll
Winner: Egg Roll
- Candy Bar vs. Chocloate Bar Donut
Winner: Chocolate Bar Donut
- Eggplant vs. Banana
- Fried Turkey Leg vs. Mozzarella Stick
Winner: Mozzarella Stick
- Egg Roll vs. Chocolate Bar Donut
Winner: Egg Roll
- Banana vs. Mozzarella Stick
- Egg Roll vs. Banana
Winner: Egg Roll
1. Egg Roll
3. Mozzarella Stick and Chocolate Bar Donut
4. Fried Turkey Leg, Licorice, Candy Bar, and Eggplant