Prepare to break out into song in 3… 2… 1… This is EVERY DISNEY PRINCESS EVER!
- Tatiana Aarons as Tiana
- Matt Duran as Aladdin
- Damien Haas as Prince Phillip, Flynn Rider (voice only), and King Fergus
- Ian Hecox as John Smith and The Beast
- Kimmy Jimenez as Anna, Pocahontas, and Merida
- Keith Leak Jr. as Prince Naveen
- Courtney Miller as the Evil Queen, Elsa, Aurora, Ariel, and Rapunzel
- Olivia Sui as Snow White, Grandmother Willow, and Belle
- Shayne Topp as Prince Eric and Courtney Freaking Miller
- Uncredited: Queen Elinor in bear form
- Director: Ryan Todd
- Writers: Monica Vasandani, Damien Haas, Ryan Finnerty
- Executive Producer: Ryan Todd
- Executive Assistant: Nancy Azcona
- Production Manager: Margo McHugh
- Director of Photography: Billy Yates
- Camera Operator: Brennan Iketani
- First Assistant Camera: Jacqi Jones
- DIT: Matt Duran
- Art Director: Cassie Vance
- Art Department Assistant: Yasmeen Mughal
- Set Decorator: Tayler Nicholson
- Set Dresser: Sam Valladres
- Props & Stage Coordinator: David Hill
- Sound Mixer: Greg Jones
- Script Supervisor: Merina Seidel
- Hair & Makeup Department Head: Rachel Jenkins
- Wardrobe: Lena Frostestad
- Gaffer: Trent Turner
- Best Boy Grip: Dustin Bloodgood
- Editor: Mike Small
- Assistant Editor: Matt Duran
- GFX: Brittany Metz
- Community Manager: Cece Wrenn
- Content Manager: Kiana Parker
- IT/Equipment Manager: Tim Baker
Snow White's habits
At the dwarves' cottage, Snow White (Olivia Sui) is greeted by the Evil Queen (Courtney Miller) through the window, who offers her an apple. Snow approaches, reasoning out loud that since she has already moved into a cottage while its inhabitants were away and gave said inhabitants nicknames based on their physical and mental shortcomings, it would not be out of character for her to accept food from an odd stranger. She grabs the apple and takes a bite out of it; as expected, she immediately falls to the floor, knocked out.
Elsa's plot hooks
Anna (Kimmy Jimenez) pleads with her sister Elsa (Courtney Miller) to end the frozen curse she put upon Arendelle. Elsa explains that she is unable to because she is "too sad" and that it would take at least two more songs, a kiss, and perhaps a friend placed in grave danger before she is ready to break the curse. Elsa flaps her cloak behind her as she walks off, leaving Anna by herself in disbelief.
Aurora's sleeping habits
Prince Phillip (Damien Haas) walks into the bedroom of his wife Princess Aurora (Courtney Miller) to see if she is ready to leave, but finds that she is not even dressed. Aurora complains that she is too tired, despite sleeping for eleven hours the night prior; when Phillip points this out, an annoyed Aurora reminds him that she needs at least three hours of sleep, otherwise, she is unable to do anything. An exasperated Phillip inquires how she does not find that crazy. Aurora tells the prince that he knew this before they got married, but Phillip thought it was only a one-time thing. Aurora starts to yell that this is who she is, but yawns mid-sentence, stretches, and falls asleep before she can finish, leaving an irritated Phillip alone in the world of the conscious.
Grandmother Willow's warning
Grandmother Willow (Olivia Sui) warns Pocahontas (Kimmy Jimenez) to listen to the trees and the animals, for they foretell changes in the planet's climate; polar ice caps will melt and entire ecosystems will be destroyed. At that moment, Pocahontas is surprised to see her boyfriend John Smith (Ian Hecox), who asks who she is talking to. Pocahontas is quick to deny speaking with anyone and, in an attempt to lead him away from Grandmother Willow, suggests they go on a canoe ride together. None the wiser, John accepts, and as the couple leaves, Pocahontas turns back to give Grandmother Willow a reactionary look of horror.
Ariel's leg obsession
Prince Eric (Shayne Topp) walks in on Ariel (Courtney Miller) obsessing over her new legs, which she nonchalantly denies doing before admitting so. Eric explains that her obsession is starting to "weird him out" to an extent. Ariel only scoffs.
Tiana's experimental zoophilia
Tiana (Tatiana Aarons) puckers her lips and kisses a frog she holds in her hands, which magically transforms the animal back into his true form, Prince Naveen (Keith Leak Jr.). After a stunned moment of silence as the two take a look at each other, a thought enters Tiana's mind, and she excuses herself. Naveen asks where she is going, and Tiana explains that she is going to try kissing more animals to see if doing so will cause more magical transformations, such as turning a horse into gold. Naveen informs her that he is more than likely the only magical animal in the story, a probability Tiana disregards and goes to kiss other animals anyway, seeing the worst-case scenario as her just kissing a horse.
Flynn Rider (Damien Haas) asks Rapunzel (Courtney Miller), who was braiding flowers into her hair, if she is coming with him somewhere. Rapunzel gets up to leave, dragging her hair down the stairs. The camera pans down to reveal various items that have gotten stuck in her seventy-foot-long hair, including a pumpkin, her pet chameleon Pascal, and even the guitar of Miguel Rivera.
Belle and Tiana's zoophilia
As Belle (Olivia Sui) and the Beast (Ian Hecox) dance together in their ballroom, Belle admits that it feels great to finally admit her attraction to animals. At the mention of her zoophilia, Tiana orders Belle to cease action. She runs in, pushing Belle aside, grabs the Beast by the head, and gives him a kiss, only to find herself disappointed when nothing happens. As she leaves and Belle gets up, the Beast reminds Belle that he is not an animal, but just a normal human man under a curse. This upsets Belle, who leaves in disappointment, leaving the Beast confused by what had just happened.
Tiana's continued zoophilia
At the doorsteps of Castle DunBroch, Merida (Kimmy Jimenez) discusses with her father King Fergus (Damien Haas) how to break the curse that has put her mother Queen Elinor in the form of a bear. Their conversation is interrupted by Tiana, who is trying to kiss Elinor, mistaking her for an actual animal. Merida yells at her that that is not how to break the spell, to which Tiana only replies "What spell?" and tries to encourage the bear to kiss her. She eventually gives up, calls Elinor a "prude", and leaves. Fergus, feeling offended, mentions that that "prude" is his wife.
Continued fetishes with Disney Princesses
Aladdin (Matt Duran) and Jasmine (Kimmy Jimenez) giggle as they hold hands. Jasmine asks him to confirm if he is a street rat, which a nervous Aladdin denies, to her relief. Ariel appears beside Jasmine to downplay Jasmine's worries, so long as the man has legs. As Jasmine starts to asks Ariel who she is, Tiana appears behind Aladdin to asks the whereabouts of their pets, the monkey Abu and the tiger Rajah, much to the mutual confusion of Aladdin and Jasmine.
"'Ey! You know who it is! Courtney Freakin' Miller! I didn't make the cut as a Disney Princess 'cause I'm made mostly out of cyanide! Hey, click right here for a good-ass video or down here for some merch, such as this! Join the riot! Huh! Huh!"
- Courtney (singing}: "Every Disney Princess Ever!"
- ?: "I'm gonna fall in love with the first man I see!"
- Ian: "So, like, can all princesses just sing, or what?"
- ?: "I have a cute little sidekick for no reason!"
- Ian: "You realize most of these princesses are based off of horrifying stories, right?"
- ?: "Disney, the only places where horses aren't terrifying."
- Shayne: "My favorite's Mater."
- ?: "You can ride my magic carpet..."
- Ian: "I'm just waitin' for a Disney queen..."
- The original thumbnail included a dead Olaf, but the Frozen character is neither seen nor mentioned in the video.