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"America asked and we delivered. Y'all liked how crispy our Extra Crispy chicken is, so we're bringin' ya somethin' new: The Crispy Fried Batter Bucket!"
—Colonel Sanders

EVERY KFC EVER is the 135th episode of the Smosh series Every Blank Ever. It was released on July 22, 2019.

Description

Take a questionable Colonel, throw in eleven herbs & spices and you've got a chicken recipe that's somehow incredibly greasy, but still finger lickin' good. This is EVERY KFC EVER!

Credits

Cast

Crew

Synopsis

Every KFC Ever Clip 1 Shayne walks into a KFC and asks what their chicken is seasoned with. Kimmy, the employee, describes the seasoning as a blend of seven different herbs and spices, but declines further detail since the exact recipe is a secret. Unimpressed, Shayne asks if it is simply salt. Kimmy turns away and curses.
Every KFC Ever Clip 2 Colonel Sanders introduces the "Crispy Fried Batter Bucket", a dish America has been asking for, so KFC is delivering. While there is no actual chicken in the bucket, the Colonel promises a brutal murder of a chicken for every bucket sold.
Every KFC Ever Clip 3 Ian and Damien are confused over the quantity of KFC/Taco Bell restaurants. Courtney, in a half-KFC/half-Taco Bell uniform, explains that it is nothing more than a corporate ploy to save two dying brands and carry less overhead. Impressed, Damien orders a fried chicken taco. Courtney smashes a taco shell and chicken thigh together, hyping the customers up with "All comes out the same end, am I right, boys?" She leaves the room in disappointment when Damien and Ian respond with "Yeah! Our feet!"
Every KFC Ever Clip 4 The Colonel clears up a common misconception regarding KFC; they only use the worst chickens in the world. The scene switches to a penitentiary, where an imprisoned chicken glares at the camera and curses the viewer. The Colonel declares their chicken "finger-lickin' good".
Every KFC Ever Clip 5 Ian and Damien mockingly ask about the Colonel and what exactly he fought in. Courtney warns the two to watch their mouth, explaining that the Colonel was an American hero, having fought in the Great Kentucky Chicken War of 1645, changed the methods of Kentucky Fried Warfare, single-handedly killed hundreds of Nazis in nothing but a bulletproof butt vest, and rescued an entire chicken coop. After, Courtney confirms that the Colonel cooked and ate all of the chickens he rescued and stares at Damien in confusion when he asks how there were Nazis in 1645.
Every KFC Ever Clip 6 Shayne and a group of KFC employees speculate over what KFC stands for. Suggestions include "Kidney Failure Capital", "Kisses From Colonel", "Killing Ficticious Children", "Kinky Foot Cuddles", and "Keep F*cking the Chicken".
Every KFC Ever Clip 7 KFC commercials depict something different from reality. In their commercials, the food is hot, crispy, and crunchy, and everyone happily gathers around the table to enjoy it. In reality, however, the food is cold and gross, the meat can hardly stick to the bone, and eating it gives the consumer terrible bowel problems.
Every KFC Ever Clip 8 Ian and Damien are eating their meal and agree that KFC is "not actually that bad". Ian goes to wipe his hands on his pants when Kimmy appears from under the table and licks his fingers, catching him off guard. Kimmy asks in an excited whisper if he is going to take another bite, which Ian nervously declines. Kimmy simply replies with "Okay" before disappearing under the table.

Transitions

  • Shayne: "Every KFC Ever."
  • Courtney: "Hi, can I get the Famous Bowl extra famous?"
  • Ian: "Mmm, smells like chicken murder!"
  • ?: "Bawk! B-b-b-b-b-kaw!"
  • Courtney: "I use their buckets as a laundry basket."
  • Shayne: "Boy, I'm feeling greasy after that."
  • Shayne: "I'd like to Double Down, please."

Bloopers

  • Kimmy breaks down in tears over lying to Shayne about the seasoning.
  • Colonel Sanders advertises the Crispy Fried Batter Bucket.
  • Courtney, as Colonel Sanders, exclaims "It's finger-lickin' good!".
  • Ian, as Colonel Sanders, exclaims "It's finger-lickin' good, motherf*cker!".
  • Courtney, as Colonel Sanders, exclaims "They're finger-f*ckin'-lickin' good!".
  • Shayne decides to get Carl's Jr. instead. Colonel Sanders wants to join him, Damien promises to lock the door, and Ian promises to lube his feet. Shayne nervously asks how many employees the store has, but finds out that the store is not even open and Courtney does not even work there.

Outro

"Guys, Smosh Summer Games: Apocalypse is here! Click this box to watch the first competition, PUNISHMENT ZOMBIE SHOOTOUT. Team Mushroom Clout, baby!"
— Courtney

Gallery

Screenshots

Social Media

Trivia

  • Damien is the only cast member who did not play Colonel Sanders at some point during the video. All of the other cast members did:
    • Ian played the Colonel the most, first appearing in the second scene and later in the bloopers.
    • Courtney played the Colonel during the third scene and during the bloopers.
    • Shayne played the Colonel during archive footage of him during the "Great Burger War" and World War II.
    • Kimmy played the Colonel during the sixth scene and during the bloopers.

References

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