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EVERY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL EVER is an episode of Every Blank Ever and part of Season 2017. It was released April 5, 2017.


Whether it's fart jokes, bad excuses for not finishing homework, or lice infections, this is Every Elementary School Ever!


Scenario #1

Ms. Shannon (Olivia) asks the students if they finished their homework. Everyone says yes. One kid, named Ethan (Shayne) says his dog ate his homework. Ms. Shannon says the homework was to take care of Mr. Wiggles, the class guinea pig. Ethan says he knows and pulls out a bag of an eaten guinea pig. Everyone screams in terror.

Scenario #2

A teacher (Courtney) is teaching her class about science, and then an alarm rings. Two guys in hazmat suits come in and take a girl named Sally (Olivia) away. One kid (Noah) asks what happened, and his friend (Shayne) says she has lice and won't be back for a whole week. The kid screams. 

Scenario #3

Ms. Shannon asks Ethan to spin the job wheel (possibly as punishment for the guinea pig). Ethan does so, and gets Pencil Hander Outer. Ethan asks if that's going to help him as a grown up. Twenty years later, a grown up Ethan is an office supply deliverer. Ethan remembers elementary school, swears, and leaves.

Scenario #4

The teacher from Scenario #2 is teaching her class about Anne Frank and how it impacted society. She concludes with a moral to love each other, but is interrupted by a kid (Noah) fake farting. Everybody laughs. The teacher sits down to drink alcohol. 

Scenario #5

In a private school, an annoying girl (Olivia) calls out the answer out loud. Four students (Noah, Courtney, Keith, Shayne) make fun of her and call her names like Teacher's Pet. The annoying girl says that the teacher will throw them a pizza party at the end of the year if they washed her car. This causes the class to go berserk. 

Scenario #6

Mr. Washington (Keith) says to pledge allegiance to the flag. The class begins, but a kid (Shayne) curls up in a ball. One kid (Olivia) thinks he's protesting and he's woke, but another kid (Noah) realizes the lice got him too. The two guys with hazmat suits take him away. 

Scenario #7

The teacher from Scenarios # 2 and 4 tell the students to bring permission slips up. They all deliver. One kid named Mikey (Noah) slams the permission slip down, and walks out. The teacher stops him and asks if he forged his mother's signature. Mikey says no, though it clearly shows he did. 

Scenario #8

Two kids (Noah and Olivia) are standing at a playground. Two more kids (Shayne and Courtney) come up to them. The boy asks for privacy, and the two other kids walk away. The other boy turns around and sees the kids holding hands. The other boy yells cooties, and the tow hazmat guys take them away.