- "My favorite Batman is the one that wears black!
- —Shut Up! Opening
BATMAN SUCKS FOREVER (AKA Batman's a Bitch Forever) is a Smosh main channel video.
Batman's back, and he STILL sucks...
Batman wearily enters the bathroom, not closing the door, and sits down on the toilet. He then gets furious, stands back up and yells at Robin about putting down the seat after he urinates. He points at a sign and yells to "please be a sweetie and put down the seatie." The words "Batman's A Bitch Forever" then appear and a voice says that Batman's a bitch. The transitional theme music then plays and the Batman symbol zooms in and out.
Scene #2. Batman is sitting on a couch by the television and Robin, typing on his laptop and Robin reading a novel. Batman becomes annoyed that Robin may have once again changed the password on his laptop, which Robin denies. From the exchange, it is obvious that Batman typed the password in wrong and he throws the laptop to the other side of the room so that his mistake is not made obvious, saying that if he could not do it, no one could.
Scene #3. Batman goes over to the air conditioner, seemingly miffed about how hot the room is. Robin comes over, asking him to not turn the air on as he's already cold. Batman proclaims he's hot, and Robin suggest he wear something other than a "hot rubber suit." Batman stubbornly refuses and tells Robin to instead wear the bat snuggie he got him for Christmas.
Scene #4. Batman is sitting on the couch with Robin, eating a banana. He suddenly stops and asks if bananas are vegan. Robin tells him it's fruit (so yes) but Batman immediately screams "JOKERRRRRR!!"
Scene #5. Robin gets coffee for himself, Batman and Alfred. He attempts to warn Batman it's hot while giving him his coffee, but Batman immediately drinks it and burns his mouth, spitting it back into Robin's face. He then reprimands Robin for not telling him it was hot, much to the latter's dismay.
Scene #6. Batman and Robin are watching hipsters walking into the Super Secret Cupcake Shop. Batman complains about the gentrification going on in Gotham, but Robin counters that he, too, is gentrifying Gotham by cleaning up the poor areas of Gotham and reinvigorating the economy. Batman denies this, shouting at Robin "YOU'RE NOT MY MOM," before running away all pouty.
Scene #7. Batman is going through his shirts, and complains to Alfred that he has nothing cute to wear for Rachel.
Scene #5 cont'd. After burning his mouth, Batman tries Robin's coffee, but spits it out at him, claiming it's too cold. He then asks for Robin, and does another spit take, claiming "Holy shit that's good coffee."
Scene #8. Batman and Robin are sitting on the couch, with the former complaining about Catwoman not texting him back for two days. Robin says she could just be busy, injured or dead. Batman claims she better be dead for not texting him back.
Scene #3 cont'd. Robin tries to turn the heat up, only for Batman to come along and immediately turn it down. After fighting over the switch, Batman decides to meet in the middle, but turns it all the way down. When Robin tells him to put it in the middle, Batman threatens to put his fist in the "middle" of Robin's face.
Scene #6 cont'd. Batman and Robin are eating cupcakes, blue and red respectively, from the shop. Batman complains about not getting the red one, despite Robin saying they're the same flavor. Batman accuses him of being guilty, so Robin just offers his cupcake to him, but Batman refuses, saying it's got his "robin cooties" all over it.
Scene #3 cont'd. Batman and Robin continue fighting over the AC.
Scene #8. Batman and Robin are playing Cards Against Humanity with Superman, Wonder Woman and Aquaman. For black card titled, (THE SADDEST THING IN THE WORLD IS) Batman draws his card (BEING A WOMAN) much to Wonder Woman's dismay. He accuses her of being too sensitive and a prude, but when Superman puts down his card (BEING AN ORPHAN), Batman gets offended and leaves. Superman points out that he's an orphan too, but Batman claims he, at least, had foster parents, whereas he [Batman] had no one, blatantly disregarding Alfred standing right next to him.