Dating can be hard, and it's been a long time since Anthony has been with a girl. Against Ian's advice, Anthony decides to make a take a huge chance and date... a fan! Will he find true love?!
The episode begins with Ian in the living room playing Operation: Spongebob Edition on the coffee table. Suddenly, Anthony enters, who picks up the game and throws it to the ground before sitting on the other sofa.
Anthony tells Ian he has a girl coming over so he has to leave. Ian asks him how he met a girl, Anthony replies that he met her online then Ian asks him if he used a dating app, where Anthony says: "Not exactly,". Ian asks why, so Anthony tells him not to freak out, because she is a fan. Ian goes on to say that it's the worst idea to ever commit, saying that most fans want to "cut off your face, and wear it whilst dancing around to creepy children's music". Anthony says this one is different, and to trust him.
The doorbell rings, and when Anthony and Ian open it, a stand fan is at the front door. Ian then asks Anthony what is on their doorstep, with a confused face.
Back in the house, Anthony asks Ian if 'she' is cute, where Ian asks if he has lost his mind, before exclaiming that she is not even a real person. Anthony then says that he doesn't go around and call all of Ian's girls fake, before saying that has been hard for him to get a girl lately.
Ian asks what Anthony even see's in 'her' . Anthony then says that she is really romantic, before cutting to a scene of him and the fan in the park on a picnic blanket, where the fan blows a dandelion into his face. He also says that she loves burritos, before cutting again to the park, where Anthony blows out an 1 week anniversary candle on a burrito, before proceeding to feed her the item of food. Ian then asks Anthony on how they do ' you know what'. The video then skips to Anthony on his bed in nothing but boxers, before going to have you know what with fan, only for her to cut Anthony spraying blood everywhere. Then, back in reality, Ian asks if they have even thought of having a future together. The video then cuts to Anthony and Fantasia to a restaurant , where Anthony's girl looks at a passing man and woman, and then Anthony proceeds to do the same, only to be told that the hand fan is only 14 by the waiter. Ian then exclaims Anthony would be trapped forever if he ever got Fantasia pregnant. It then, yet again, cuts to a rather fat Anthony, with Fantasia with their 4 kids, where he says he doesn't care if the kids see them fighting, at least they know the truth, before Anthony goes on to pull Fantasia's cord out, making her 'die' .
Anthony then says that Ian is right, before going over to Fantasia and telling that their relationship isn't working out, before picking her up and smashing her against the ground, causing her to smash to pieces. Anthony then starts crying, and holds his head in his hands, until the doorbell rings again. Anthony then answers it, before calling Ian saying that his ex is here, before Anthony tells a rather excited Ian that seeing an ex is worse than dating a fan, where it cuts to a wide shot, where it is a giant cardboard X at the door. Ian then tries to get her indoors, only for her to break apart. Anthony then asks Ian what happened, only for Ian to remark that she broke up with him. Just after the credits, a cameo shows up with Ian's ex dead and collapsed.
SHUT UP! Opening
My voice sounds so weird in a faaaan. SHUT UP!
- The credits say:
- Director: Ian's Mom (Cheryl Hecox)
- Fluffer: Oprah Winfrey
- Stunts: Air Bud
- Executive Producer: Please Help Me
- Gaffer: Smosh is
- Best Boy: Holding me
- Ist Assistant Director: Against my Will
- Credits by: Call the Police
- This is the first time where the duo's dates are not real people.