The BEST Bottled Water

AMAZING NEW DRINK is a Smosh video uploaded on February 25, 2011. This video shows us how bottled water is better than faucet water.

Plot

A narrator asks the viewer if he/she is tired of drinking faucet water, the same water that "poor people drink." An old man (Ian) struggles to get water faucet, his arm falls off, he starts coughing out blood and then he falls over and dies. The narrator then says to not worry anymore because of this amazing new product: Bottled Water!

Three teenagers dance around the old man's body with bottled water, while the narrator asks, "Why get your water for practically free from your faucet, when you can pay up to five dollars a bottle for our water?" Ian and Anthony then pop up excited before the narrator explains that all the bottles come "adorned with pretty pictures of mountains or palm trees, or anything you like." Ian and Anthony say things they like.

Anthony: I like baseball!
Ian: I like zombies!
Anthony: Baseball zombies!
Ian: Lung fish!
Anthony: Quidditch!
Ian: Boobies!
Anthony: Thailand!
Ian: Green Beans!

The narrator says that once you go bottled water, you'll never go back! Ian shouts, "Go to hell faucet!" and punches his faucet. The narrator then says that bottled water can do almost anything, including washing your car (Anthony washes Ian's car), healing a shank wound (That Anthony deliberately gave to one guy), even flying! (Not really. Anthony jumps out a window, only to crash.) Anthony, now in a cast, throws the bottle in the recycling bin, where they can go "where everywhere else goes." A dilapidated place is shown with the narrator saying, "Don't worry. That foreign country likes having our trash in their backyard! See how happy that kid is?" However, the kid playing with the trash says in a foreign language, "F**k my life." It then shows some testimonials.

CEO of Great Head Hair Salon Richard Head (Ian) says that he spends way too little money on tap water, but now spends 10,000 times more for bottled water. Stuck-Up Beeyotch Heidi Monfag complained that getting water out of the faucet was "so hard and timestaking." She says that she drives her SUV 25 miles to the grocery store to buy bottled water. Secretary of Carpet Matchers Express Queen Latifa used to be sexually harassed by her boss until she switched to bottled water. Some homeless guy who has Vietnam flashbacks drank so much water, he pissed himself. Devil Worshipper Suzie Dixtraw said that bottled water brought her grandpa back from the dead. A woman named Amanda used to be a man, a dog named Awomanda used to be a woman, and Tom Cruise (WTF!?) used to not be pregnant

. Harry Sachs (played by Anthony and who still plays Runescape) thinks bottled water is cool. However, the bottled water police come in and takes Harry's bottled water. One officer (Ian) drinks it, but spits it out when he discovers that he replaced his bottled water for tap water. Harry says that he didn't want to look poor, only to be shot by the officers.

As the homeless guy enjoys pouring water on himself, the narrator says that some people say that you reduce waste and save money by drinking faucet water, only for the narrator to say that that only drug addicts and seal clubbers think that. Ian and Anthony then say,

Ian: So if you wanna be seen as a racist, sexist child molester who kills baby animals, then by all means, stay on that faucet water crap!
{C Anthony: But if you want huge balls,
{C Ian: All the girl and/or boyrfriends you can handle,
{C Anthony: Huge balls,
{C Ian: Trained monkeys that make you toast,
{C Anthony: And abnormally large testicles,
{C Narrator: Then switch to bottled water today!

Everyone in the video says, "Thanks bottled water!" as Suzie Dixtraw gets taken by her undead grandpa. The homeless guy still enjoys pouring water on himself.

Trivia/Goofs

• If one looks at Richard Head's bottled water, the words HERPE WATER can be seen.
• On some other bottles of water, it says "Toilet Water." It's more noticable on Some Homeless Guy's bottle.
• The fake arm seen in Handshake and Quest for the Scooter is a major prop in this video
• The boy from "If Kid Shows Were Real" makes a second appaerance as the miserable foreign kid picking up all the plastic bottles.

Subscription Ending

"Thanks for subscribing! And if you don't, I hope your next water bottle is full of acid!"

—{{{2}}}

Shut Up! Opening

"*Water gurgling* SHUT UP!"

—{{{2}}}