Banned Video/Script

Ian: (talking as if he's the narrator) In 2007, we made a video that we deemed too inappropriate to release. But now that everything we release is innappropriate, we've finally decided to release it. Enjoy the crappy production value and acting of the early Smosh days.

In the park of 2007

(Ian let Anthony sit by him on the bench)

Ian: Haha, check this out. When Brian wasn't looking, I broke this thermometer open and poured the liquid in his drink. Hahahaha. It'll be so funny when he's like, "Oh my God, somebody put something in my drink."

Anthony: Uh, you know that's mercury, right?

Ian: So; it's not like it's gonna kill him or anything, right?

(They see Brian faking his death, but think it's real)

Anthony: (stands up) Oh my god, I think you kill him!

Ian: (stands up) I thought it would be funny like last time!

Anthony: You mean this isn't the first time you put mercury in his drink?!

Ian: Look that's not important, we need to do somethng about the body.

Anthony: What do you mean we? You killed him.

Ian: Well you didn't stop me! (sees Anthony calling someone on his phone) What are you doing? Anthony, what are you doing?

Anthony: Yeah thanks, we have an emergency. My... (keeps talking)

Ian: Anthony! (punches Anthony in water where he's drowning) Oh my god, no! Get up, get up. Get up right. Anthony, I don't know if you notice but you're drowning. Come up friend, yeah come on man!

(Anthony drowned)

Ian: Anthony, An-An-Anthony? (talks in his thoughts): Oh my god, Brian and Anthony are dead. I can't go to the cops; they'll accuse me of murder. (burps then talks in his thoughts again while dropping the thermometer) Oh, excuse me. I need to find a way to hide these bodies. I better make sure no one's looking.

girl scout: (came along) Do you and your friends want some cookies; it's for a good cause.

Ian: No!  (punches the scout then throws the box of cookies at a jogger)

pizza guy: Hey dude, someone ordered pizza.

Ian: What kind is it?

pizza guy: Artichoke.

Ian: No!  (throws the pizza box at the pizza guy, killing him)

robber: Wait, (points his gun) give me all of your money.

Ian: No!  (takes the robber's gun and punches him)

Richard Simmons lover: Hey man, you seen the new Richard Simmons workout video tape?

Ian: No!  (shoots the lover with the robber's gun)

Richard Simmons lover: It's freakin' awesome.

(Ian shoots the lover until he's out of ammo and decided to hide the bodies on the Twister mat by possessioning them like they're playing Twister)

burrito guy: Hey can I play? Wait, those people are dead; aren't they?

Ian: You're not gonna tell anyone about this; are you?

burrito guy: Can I tell my mom?

(Ian goes to the burrito guy and takes the burrito)

burrito guy: Hey, what are you doing with my burrito?

(Ian chokes the burrito guy)

(Brian comes back up)

Brian: I totally got you guys. I saw you put the mercury in my drink, so I just faked like I was dead. (laughs)

Ian: Oh my god, good one!

(hey both high-fived each other in the air)