A SMOSHY CHRISTMAS! (Part 1)/Script

Introduction
ANTHONY

All right man! (Tucks Ian to bed) get some sleep or Santa might not come.

IAN

Aw, man; I'm so excited for presents, I don't think I can sleep.

Anthony: Right

(Anthony starts to leave then sits down when Ian talks)

Ian: Do you think m-maybe you could tell me a bedtime story?

Anthony: Uh okay so uh one time there was this little gnome named Snooki

Ian: Dude, you've already told me that story like a million times. Tell me a new fine

Story (part 1 of 2)
Anthony: Fine! So, it was Christmas morning and a boy and his dog were just waking up.

(Ian interrupts the story)

Ian: Can the boy and the dog be us?

Anthony: Fine! Me (The boy grew into Anthony Padilla) and my dog, Ian were just waking up.

(The dog grew a bowl haircut)

(Ian interrupts the story again)

Ian: Wait, wait. Why do I have to be the dog? You be the dog!

Anthony: How about we're both humans (the dog turns into the human Ian Hecox) and shut the fuck up ; this is my story!

(Ian interrupts again)

Ian: Well can I at least be more buff?

Anthony: Whatever! (Ian's muscles grew)

Ian: (whispers) Awesome!

Anthony: Anyway, so we ran out to open up ...

By the Christmas tree

Ian and Anthony (in the story): Presents! (They were surprised that they don't see their presents and Ian deflated)

Anthony: What did you do with the presents?

Ian: I didn't touch them.

Anthony: Then where the heck are they?

Random guy: Did you guys hear; nobody got presents. Oh Lordy, oh Lordy, Lordy.

Anthony: Uhh! Who are you?

Random guy: Oh; I thought I would just spread the new... (Gets head shot off the by Ian)

Anthony: Dude! Why did you shoot him?

Ian: That's what guns are for; right?

Anthony: Well can we at least find out who the people are before you shoot them?

Ian: Uhhh! Fine!

In the car

Anthony: If no one got their presents, that could only mean one thing.

Ian: Santa sold them for drugs.

Anthony: No! Santa's in trouble!

Ian: So that's why we're driving towards the North Pole!

Anthony: Duh!

Ian: I just thought you forgot where we lived.

At the Canada-Washington border

Canadian: Eh there, what's your reason for coming to our country, eh!

Anthony: Oh, I'm just passing through the North Pole.

(A ninja spies on the conversation)

Canadian: The North Pole eh. And what aboot you, eh.

Ian: What?

Canadian: Yeah! What aboot you, eh.

Ian: Uh no; no boots.

Canadian: I didn't ask aboot boots, I asked what aboot you, eh.

Ian: Boot?

Canadian: Yeah, about!

Ian: What about boots?

Canadian: What about you. About, about.

Ian: Why are so obsessed with boots?!

(The ninja kicked the Canadian out of the way showing his swords and made both of them scream)

Clarence (ninja): None shall pass to the North Pole. You turn around now, or you die by my swords.

Anthony: Hmm! Let me think about that.

(Anthony starts the car making the "ninja" scream and get caught in a road kill flipping towards the snow)

(Ian and Anthony see him lying towards the ground)

Ian: Who is he?

(Anthony takes off the mask)

Anthony: (surprised)

Ian: It's one of Santa's little helpers.

Anthony: (shakes the elf) Tell us who you are and why you're trying to stop us.

Clarence: Okay! My name is Clarence Peabody. I was suppose to stop you guys so you wouldn't... (Gets shot by Ian)

Anthony: What the fuck, man?!

Ian: You told me I can kill people after they told us their name.

Anthony: But; he was... (Just got really angry) God!

(They both got back to the car)

(Goes to the next section)

Ending part 1
In real life

Anthony: And they all lived happily ever after. The end!

Ian: Dude; that was like the worst ending ever!

Anthony: Too bad! Take it up with Santa.

(Anthony starts to leave, but Ian pulls out a shotgun)

Ian: No so fast! (pumps shotgun ) Tell me the rest of the story, or you'll end up like that little elf.

Anthony: (surprised) I-is that thing even loaded?

Ian: Eh! Probably not... (Accidentally fires a shell)

narrator:Tune in next to see if Anthony gets shot and dies just kidding he survives but really though, tune in next time to see the rest of the story! And find out if they save Christmas after all! And see if Anthony tells the story.

Anthony: What!?