FIRE EMBLEM (Honest Game Trailers)

Fire Emblem is the 86th Honest Game Trailer.

Script
From Nintendo's sweaty neck-beard cousin (Intelligent Systems) comes the strategy RPG series based on those guys with swords from Smash Bros.: Fire Emblem.

Strap on your greaves and step into the Fire Emblem series, where you'll lead your armies to take anime fantasy Europe by storm using masterful tactics, flying Pegasus ladies, and a whole bunch of turn-based combat. (two characters fight) Oh, yeah, that's the good stuff.

Challenge an RPG franchise that will push your strategy skills to the limit, as the overwhelming odds, brutal RNG, and permanent death combine to make you carefully plan out every move or suffer the consequences, unless, you know, you just reload your save. Casual.

Experience the RPG series that spent the last twenty years transitioning from a balls-hard tactical game to a balls-hard tactical game wrapped in an anime visual novel, as you spend less and less time fighting actual battles and more time shipping characters together, marrying off your self-insert character, and doing, uh, whatever this is. (3DS cursor moves over a female character's face) Aw yeah, girl, lemme touch that face. Wait, that's not the English version? Dammit. Now I have to learn Japanese. (female character giggles)

Command your legions as one of Fire Emblem's interchangeable generic sword guy protagonists, then charge into battle alongside a predictable cast of characters, featuring the beefy knight guy who starts off way higher level than your party (Kellam), the pair of horsemen doing an Odd Couple routine, the incredibly sh** characters who become gods if you put in the time to level them up (Donnel), the deadly mercenary you recruit from the bad guys, the Pegasus knight you'll immediately lose by overextending, the dick-ass thief you'll kill by getting greedy, the pathetically weak healer lady...on a horse, the super strong dude you get right at the end of the game (Athos), the dancing girl who has no business being on a battlefield, the socially awkward mage (Tharja), and the ancient survivor of the dragon race whose human form just happens to be an almost-naked fourteen-year-old (Nowi). Oooh, I see what you did there, Japan.

Muster your soldiers to face battle systems that were designed over two decades ago as you deal with axes, spears, and swords that run out of ammo, and a weapon triangle that literally is just rock-paper-scissors, then watch as the slow, plodding turn-based action is spruced up by the most anime combat animations ever produced for a tactics game. (Ismaire splits into four copies of herself and attacks a monster) Holy sh**! Did that lady just split into four other ladies?

Choose your strategy carefully and meticulously arrange your units for maximum effect, then revel in your tactical genius as you exploit the enemy AI and funnel them through choke points so you can fight them one by one, or just let your giant bodyguard murder everyone like it's a Pokémon starter.

So grab your longsword, fire up those emblems, and immerse yourself in one of the greatest tactical RPG series of all time, at least until you get frustrated and chuck your 3DS out the window.

Starring:

Young Noble Protagonists

Evil Empires

Anime Tropes

Critical Hits

F!@k-tons of Bandits

Suddenly Losing Your Favorite Dudes

Fantasy Politics

A Literal Pothead (Donnel)

and Literal Cat Ladies (Selkie).

Waifu Wars: No Petting Allowed.

Okay, finally leveled that guy up, and...one speed?! What the f*** is this sh**?!