UNCHARTED 4 (Honest Game Trailers)

Uncharted 4 is the 103rd Honest Game Trailer.

Script
From the developers that really like rubbing in the fact that they're not making another Crash Bandicoot game (Naughty Dog) comes the final entry in a beloved franchise that finally proves that video games do a better job at emulating movies than movies do at emulating video games: Uncharted 4.

Uncover the secrets of Uncharted's final chapter as you rescue your long-lost and previously-unmentioned brother from a sinister cartel and uncover a centuries-old lost pirate city, by doing lots of unnecessary climbing and shooting everyone you see in the face. Whip out the tattered notebook of Nathan Drake, former explorer, treasure hunter, and general Indiana Jones surrogate, and experience the thrill of being retired, doing salvage work, hanging out with your wife, and wistfully reminiscing about your past. Then join up with an equally limber, swashbuckling, and wisecracking brother that somehow never came up in any of the previous games, to return to a life of extreme archaeology one last time, where you'll take down hundreds of disposable mercenaries and the most punchable antagonist ever, on your road to discover the secrets of a hidden pirate colony and a potential assload of treasure. Oh, and make sure to lie to your wife about it, 'cause that always works out so well for main characters.

Elena: Do what you have to do.

(She leaves the room)

Sh*t.

Experience the absolute finest in virtual tourism as Uncharted 4's incredible art design, attention to detail, and top-of-the-line graphics immerse you in the world and take you on a journey from one beautifully rendered exotic location to the next, where you'll frequently stop exploring just to stare at the scenery or mess around in the photo mode. Then have your immersion shattered as you reach the next climbing section and Nathan effortlessly scurries up an impossible, steep cliff face using a series of handholds that look like the climbing wall at your local gym.

Nathan: I can do this all day.

Tschhh.

Get ready to take a break from Uncharted's surprisingly compelling story of brotherhood to actually play the video game part as the final game dishes up every aspect of gameplay that you've come to expect from previous Uncharted titles, like poking around the environment looking for stuff to climb, making unreasonably dangerous jumps that lead to scripted falling sequences, solving ridiculously intricate puzzles that no one would ever actually take the time to set up, finding secret areas only to be disappointed by the boring collectibles they hide, blasting through elaborate chase sequences that are super awesome until you fail them a couple of times, and fighting pitched gun battles with dozens of mooks that always seem to know exactly where you are. Then challenge the new gameplay from the fourth game featuring...uh, sliding on rocks? Oh, and there's a grappling hook now. You can totally grapple stuff.

Catch a break from the compelling single player of Uncharted 4 and take the cover-based shooting and awkward parkour online in the game's multiplayer mode, where you'll take down the enemy team with a variety of guns, strange mystical powers, and even stranger allies that appear out of thin air, in a handful of bulk standard modes that deliver the exact player-versus-player experience that you're expecting...and nothing more. But damn if they don't look good doing it! Aw yeah, girl, just look at those shaders!

So grab that ancient artifact, get out your notebook full of one-liners, and get ready to go on one last adventure with your best pal Nathan Drake, because finally, like Sully, he's gotten way too old for this sh*t. But, hey, now at least Naughty Dog's free to blow our minds with something new, creative, and original, right? Or, you know, The Last of Us 2. It's probably gonna be that.

Starring Hotline Bling (Nathan Drake), Double Draken (Sam Drake), The Old Ball and Chain (Elena Fisher), The Most Interesting Man in the World (Victor "Sully" Sullivan), On Loan from Narcos (Hector Alcazar), Permanent Asshole Face (Rafe Adler), and Strong Female Character (Nadine Ross).

Charted 4: A Franchise's End.

(Nathan, Sam, and Sully drive up to a well)

Sam: Well, well, well. Get it, y'know, 'cause it's a well?

All right, Uncharted, you win this round.