Food Battle 2011/Script

Introduction
Anthony is walking and sees a box that says "open me" opens the box and sees note that says "look behind you kekekeke ^_^". Anthony turns around, but nothing is behind him, then he turns around back and Ian is behind him. Anthony screams.

Ian: You may have killed me in Food Battle 2010, but my pink frosted sprinkled donut is gonna kick your stupid ass this year!

Anthony: Oh, yeah!? Well me and my new favorite food, the rainbow lollipop, could do way more everyday tasks than your pink sprinkly turd!

Ian: Bring it on, douche pickle!

Ian eats a donut and then a title called "FOOD BATTLE 2011" appears in the screen.

Skateboard
Anthony: How 'bout the skateboard?

(cut to outside)

Anthony: All right, lollipop - let's do this!

(Anthony tries using a lollipop as a skateboard, but it didn't work and the lollipop breaks) X

Ian: All right, doughnut; let's shred some killer half-pipes.

(Ian tries to jump on a donut, but he fails and falls to the ground) X

Deodorant
Ian: Let's do deodorant!

Anthony: Your mom could've used some deodrant last night. (laughs)

(Ian then punches the left side and his fist appears on the other side, hitting Anthony)

(Cut to outside next to the pool)

Jayne: Is that......lollipop deodorant?

Anthony: Yeah......

Jayne: (Licks the lollipop)

Anthony: All right! ✓

Ian: (Sniffs) Smells like victory!

Jayne: Is that (Sniffs) doughnut deodorant?

Ian: Sure it is.

(Jayne vomits toward Ian)

Ian: AUGGHH!!! X

Scissors
Anthony: Let's do the s-cissors.

Ian: What?

Anthony: The s-cissors!

Ian: Oh! You mean s-ciss-ors. Yeah! Let's do it!

(cut to a different room)

Ian: Come on, doughnut. Make me a sweet paper snowflake!

(Ian tries using a donut as scissors, but it does not work)

Ian: GRAAAAAAAAHH!!! X

Anthony: Alright, lollipop; let's cut something pretty!

(Anthony uses the lollipop as scissors, and then he cut paper dolls)

Anthony: Yeah! (he realized that he accidentally cut his finger off) ...what the!!?? (Starts screaming in pain) AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! ✓

GPS
Anthony: Let's do a GPS!

Ian: GPS? Oh! "Green Pube Socks"?

Anthony: No! You idiot! GPS!

Ian: OK then what the hell is "GPS" stand for?

Anthony: I don't know, it just a cool combination of letters that don't mean anything. Like "USA".

Anthony: Alright, lollipop, tell me how to get my secret class that's totally not balley!

Anthony: Hey......Hurry up! There's a wall up ahead.

Anthony: Just tell me where to turn! God dammit AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! (Crashes into the wall) X

Ian: Alright, doughnut, take me to the Grand Canyon.

Doughnut: Did you say: Gary Coleman?

Ian: Grand Canyon!

Doughnut: Turn right. Now.

Ian: OK!

Ian: WWWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA

Ian: It worked! ✅

Blow-Up Doll
Ian: How about let's do a blow-up doll?

Ian: Jus-Just kidding! You perv!

Result: No Contest

Time-Travel Device
Ian: Let's do a time-travel device.

Ian: I know you can do it, doughnut. (Ian eats the donut) Now let's go back in time! YEEEAAAAHHH!

(The donut teleports Ian back to the prehistoric ages)

Ian: Holy freak holy! It worked! ✅

(A dinosaur eats him)

Ian: AHHHH!

Anthony: All right! Let's do this! UNICORN POWER!

(Anthony teleports back to 2006)

2006 Ian: I have something to tell you, donut.

Anthony: Whoa. I'm in 2006!

2006 Ian: I love you.

(2006 Ian eats the donut)

2006 Ian: I'm ready, are you?

Anthony: No, don't do it! No! ✓

Magic Wand
Ian: How about a magic wand? (points with his finger through his zipper hole)

Anthony: AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Ian's Mon: RUDE!

Ian: Alright donut, correct my bad vision.

(He hits his eye with the donut)

Ian: AHH! MY OVARY! X

Anthony: Alright, you long sugary stick of goodness, turn this stapler into a hot chick!

(The lollipop turns the stapler into a baby chick)

Anthony: No! I said a HOT chick!

(The chick burst into flames)

Anthony:THAT'S BETTER! ✅

Gun
Ian: Let's do a gun!

Anthony: Fine! Let's have a duel!

Ian: (silent evil laugh) OK.

Ian: You know well only there's one of us is living here alive.

Anthony: Let's do this!

Anthony: DRAW!

(They try to fire their "gun", But doesn't work. Result: X X)

Breast Implants (Deleted)
Anthony:Nice eye patch.

Ian:Yeah well, at least I'm not emo.

Anthony:Ok, I am not emo.

Ian:Well,whatever. Let's just do Breast Implants!

Anthony:Why would you ever you want to do that?

Ian: Aren't you little curious?

(At the Outside)

(Anthony put 4 lollipops on his bra but fails)

Anthony:S**t. X

Ian: Hehe it's time to go down Anthony.(Put his donuts in his bra) Yay! ✅

Alternate Scene
Ian: How about a device that erases all the memories of the people in my high school gym class that witness me crap myself in the pool!

Anthony:That's not even in here!

Ending
Ian:You're such an idiot! it doesn't matter who wins the most matches in Food Battle,it's about who survives till the end! AND IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE GONNA DIE!! HAHAHAHAHA!!

Ian: You see, when you weren't looking, I poured an extremely poisonous venom over your stupid lollipop!

(He pours the venom on the lollipop)

Ian: AHAHAHAHAHA! TAKE THAT! ANTHONY! YOU SON OF A BITCH!

Ian: Sorry, Anthony, BUT ONLY LOSERS PLAY BY THE RULES! (takes a bite of his donut)

Anthony: (evil laugh) YOU THINK I HAVEN'T LEARNED ANYTHING FROM THE PAST SIX YEARS OF FOOD BATTLE!? I knew you would sabotage my food, SO I HID THE DOUGHNUT UNDERNEATH THE FAKE LOLLIPOP!

(Ian pours venom on the fake lollipop, unknowingly drenching his donut with venom)

Anthony: Oh, and I hid a bow and arrow inside my real lollipop. (shoves a bow and arrow in his lollipop)

Anthony: So you're not only you're not gonna die from the poison, BUT I'M ALSO GONNA SHOOT YOU WITH THIS ARROW!

Ian: But wait!

Anthony: DIE!

(Shoots Ian with the bow and arrow)

Ian: UURRRGGHH! How can you win Food Battle if no one can announce it?

Food Battle News Announcer: Ugh! What the hell man?!(both dies when they fall down)

Anthony: *drops rainbow lollipop* Oh god, no! JUST-JUST SAY I WON FOOD BATTLE! JUST SAY IT!

Food Battle News Announcer: A-A-Anthony, Aannn......you just won......

Anthony: JUST SAY IT! GOD DAMMIT!

Food Battle News Announcer: The Food Battle 20.....Anthony...(dies)

Anthony: No......NNOOOOOOO!!!

(In a strange limbo)

Food Battle News Announcer: Ian! Ian! You've just been transported into some place like Purgatory or a ripoff of that one scene from the last Harry Potter movie. What are you gonna do now?

Ian: I want to go fly! Wanna come?

Food Battle News Announcer: F*** YEAH!

(grabs each others arms)

Ian & Food Battle News Announcer: WWWHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! (files away)