Sexting Gone Wrong!/Script

Timothy: Damn it Claire, I'm outta here; we're done!

Claire: Fine, leave!

Timothy: And I'm taking the dog. (Picks up Sir Poopsalot)

Claire: No way you're taking Sir Poopsalot.

Timothy: Watch me. (starts to leave)

Claire: (holds her phone like a gun) Stop right there Timothy. If you leave, I'll send everyone your nude photos you sent me.

Timothy: You wouldn't dare.

Claire: (found a photo) Oh look, you as a sexy Ash Ketchum. What would your mother think if she saw your, Pokéballs?

Timothy: Damn it Claire, that was our little secret.

Claire: Then drop Sir Poopsalot.

Timothy: You wanna play dirty, huh? (puts down Sir Poopsalot and points his phone like a gun) Then I'll send out your nudes.

Claire: Hahaha! You can't, I deleted them all while you were asleep.

Timothy: Clever girl, BUT NOT CLEVER ENOUGH! Roger! (Claps his hands)

Roger: (wakes up and aims his phone at Claire like a gun) Drop the phone Claire.

Claire: What the hell is this?

Timothy: I sent all your nudes to Roger here as backup.

Claire: He's seen me naked?

Roger: Dozens upon dozens of times. And uh, you should probably get that uh, mole checked out.

Claire: Well then Roger, if you wanna play; (points Roger's girlfriend's cell phone at Roger) let's play.

Roger: What the hell in the world is that?

Claire: Your girlfriend let me borrow her phone while she was at the salon. She said to look under the folder called Furry Time.

Roger: Now hold on, I was uh setup, I thought I was going to uh a sports mascot party.

Timothy: Okay, how about we just all put our phones down and forget about all of this. You first.

Claire: You!

Roger: How about all at once.

(Timothy, Claire, and Roger stopped aiming their phones and Rogers's girlfriend's phone at each other)

Timothy: Okay, sl-slowly.

(They bend down and then Claire aiming her and Roger's girlfriend's phone again)

Claire: MYRTLE, NOW!

(Myrtle sneaks up from the couch and aims her phone at Timothy)

Timothy: (aims his phone again) Grandma?!

Myrtle: You send out those pics and I'll send out your nudes when you were a baby!

Timothy: (aims the phone at Myrtle) But I was s-such a wrinkly baby. If you know what I mean.

Timothy's grandfather: (sneaks up from the couch by Myrtle) Hold on Myrtle, we can't ruin our grandson's life. He got to pay for our retirement home later.

Timothy: (gets another phone) Quick grams, take my backup! (Throws the backup to his grandfather)

Timothy's grandfather:(The grandfather catches the backup) Ah. (aims the phone at Myrtle)

Myrtle: Hoh, you son of a bitch.

Claire: THAT'S IT! (Calls for reinforcements with her phone and stops aiming for a bit) COME QUICK, BRING NUDES!

Timothy: Quick Roger, call in the troops.

Roger: (calls troops with his phone) We need nudes right here, right now.

(The five are calling in for nudes when a nurse, football player, The Predator, rabbi, pilot, Mario, monk, and priest came in aiming their phones at each other yelling at each until a fat guy appears with his phone)

fat guy: Everybody freeze or I'm gonna send my nude pics to everyone! I'm gonna send it sky high man! Sky freakin high!

Timothy: And who are you exactly?

fat guy: (got naked all of the sudden) Just another fat guy who wants to show his tallywacker to everyone. (gay...)

Claire: Can you just leave?

fat guy: Fine (starts to leave then stops), but if anyone needs me, I'll be on chatroulette. (leaves)

(They all still yell at each other after that)

Claire: I might hate you! I hate you!

(Everybody kept yelling aiming their phones at each other until Timothy stops the argument)

Timothy: Stop, stop, stop! This has gone too far! People are gonna get hurt and I have a really hard time believing a nurse, a jock, a monk, a priest, The Predator, a pilot, a rabbi, and Mario all happen to have our nude pictures.

Mario: Technology is a bitch.

Claire: Can we please just forget all about this and put our phones down? No one will have their nudes sent and we can all just go on living our normal lives.

Timothy: You're right Claire. (Stops aiming with phone)

(Claire dropped her phone as she was about to stop aiming)

Claire: (slow motion) NOOOOO!

(the phone sent the message to Myrtle about Timothy as Ash Ketchum)

Myrtle: Huh, oh jumping jahosavats!

Timothy: (slow motion) NOOOOOOOOO! (sent a nude pic)

(Everyone was yelling except The Predator while sending nude pics to each other which The Predator did)

pilot: Send, send, send!

Mario: Wahoo, wahoo, wahoo!

(People starting dying after seeing the nude pics)

After the fight

Timothy: I'm so sorry. I just, should've never sent you my nudes in the first place.

Claire: Me neither. You were right; you're always right.

Timothy: Take my hand Claire.

(They both died together while holding hands)

narrator: If you really want someone to see you naked, just do it in person. Practice safe sext.

Roger: (wasn't dead looking at Timothy's nude pic) Woah! Pokéballs, more like Master Balls. (boner)