The Epic Battle: Jesus vs Cyborg Satan

"The Epic Battle: Jesus vs. Cyborg Satan" is a Smosh video released on November 19, 2005. It is the first public video that does not feature Ian and Anthony lipsyncing to television theme songs; rather, it is an original plot featuring a fight between action figures of Jesus Christ and Cyborg Satan.

Smosh.com
''Jesus vs Cyborg Satan! Who will win?''

YouTube
''Jesus vs Cyborg Satan! Who will win?''

Watch this video in higher quality & download at http://www.smosh.com 

Cast

 * Ian Hecox — Jesus Christ, Maria, Naked G.I. Joe
 * Anthony Padilla — Cyborg Satan and Maria

Crew

 * Directors — Ian Hecox, Anthony Padilla
 * Producers — Ian Hecox, Anthony Padilla
 * Writers — Ian Hecox, Anthony Padilla
 * Editor — Anthony Padilla
 * Key Grip — Anthony Padilla
 * Cinematography — Ian Hecox
 * "Puppet Master" — Ian Hecox

Music

 * 1) John Debney – "Raising the Cross"
 * 2) Fight Paris – "Fuck Me Stilettos"
 * 3) Mortal Treason – "Death is the Beginning"
 * 4) Randy Newman – "I Will Go Sailing No More"
 * 5) John Debney – "Bearing the Cross"

Synopsis
Jesus is reading a technology-related article on a newspaper when Cyborg Satan threateningly calls out to him. Jesus turns around, while Maria walks towards him. Cyborg Satan is immediately attracted to Maria, but upon seeing Maria going over to Jesus, Cyborg Satan tries to shoot Jesus out of jealousy. Maria takes the bullet, knocking Jesus back. Jesus gets up and goes to see if Maria is alright, then tries to carry her away but falls off the desk.

Cyborg Satan thinks that Jesus has been killed, but Jesus flies up and starts flying around the bedroom (a few times orbiting and molesting Anthony's head). Jesus perches himself atop Anthony's head and smugly asks what Cyborg Satan thinks of his moves. Cyborg Satan is impressed but confident he will do better. He gracefully dives off the desk but harshly lands on a platform below, injuring himself.

Naked G.I. Joe witnesses Cyborg Satan's fall and starts to run to him, but slips and falls off the bed onto the floor, screaming as he breaking both of his legs. Driven to get over to Cyborg Satan, Naked G.I. Joe slowly crawls over. Much to his frustration, however, his path is interrupted by a shoe that he decides to crawl over, crumpling onto his back out of exhaustion. Ian walks somewhere to grab Anthony a Mountain Dew and steps on Naked G.I. Joe in the process as the action figure lets out a pained groan. Unfazed, Naked G.I. Joe continues his journey but comes across the newspaper Jesus was originally reading and begins to read it off while the screen fades to black and the credits roll.

"Fuck Me Stilettos"
Jesus Christ: Damn right that slut's my bitch

She fuckin' sucked my goddamn dick

First time is never enough andk

Second time you're 'bout to bust andk

Third time and you're beggin' for more and more and more and...

Everybody now take your places

And all the ladies with the pretty faces

"I Will Go Sailing No More"
Randy Newman:

No

It can't be true

I could fly if I wanted to

Like a bird in the sky

If I believe I could fly

Why, I'd fly!

Clearly, I

Will go sailing no more

Trivia

 * In the credits:
 * Stuntmen are listed as being "The Dall Llama", David Blaine, and "Greased-up Deaf Guy".
 * The doll that was used to portray Maria is apparently named Robert.
 * Ian made the "wooshing noises" and Anthony made the "rocket" noises.
 * The figure of Jesus will later be seen in Pokemon Theme Song and its five-year-later sequel fives years later Pokemon Theme Song REVENGE.
 * "I Will Go Sailing No More" was used for Disney/Pixar's Toy Story, which was be referenced as Anthony's favorite movie in later Smosh videos.
 * This is the only Smosh video uploaded in 2005 that is not a theme song lip-synch video.
 * Cyborg Satan's figure in the video is actually of Searchman.exe of the Mega Man Battle Network series of games.

Goofs

 * At 5:14, there is a shot of Naked G.I. Joe crawling to Cyborg Satan that reveals an empty floor between them, without the shoe the former encounters in the subsequent shot.