HOW TO COVER UP A MURDER/Script

Introduction
Anthony: Hi! Have you ever murdered someone but didn't want to spend the rest of your life in prison? Well I know I have! So i'm going to teach you how you can get away with it! (Teeth shines) Let's go!

Step 1: Make Sure They're Dead
(Anthony says 'the person is actually' instead of 'they're')

Anthony: Sometimes the person you think is dead either just sleeping or extremely drunk. First you should ask them if they are dead.

Narrator: GREAT!

Step 2: Tamper with the Evidence
Narrator: WTF!?

Step 3: Get Rid of the Body
Narrator: FATALITY!

Narrator: SEXIST!

Narrator: YOU SCREAM LIKE A BITCH!

Step 4: Tie Up Loose Ends
Narrator: PARTY FOUL!

Narrator: SLAMMER TIME!

Step 5: Turn Yourself In
Anthony: If none of these methods work, you may have to face the consequences and turn yourself in.

St. Anous: (pops out of the clothes pile) Ugh! Stop right there! I knew all along that you're the killer! It's kids like you that make this world a terrible place. Don't you know that killing is never the answer? And you should face up to the consequences of your poor decision!

Anthony: Okay I admit it, I killed him.

St. Anous: Bullsh*t! (Repeatingly shoots the black guy instead of Anthony)

Black guy: (Screams while being shot)

St. Anous: Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! It's all right, you're safe now. I got the killer off the streets for good!

Narrator: RACIST DOUCHEBAG!