Movies on Drugs/Script

Introduction
Narrator: Obvious disclaimer, obviously drugs are bad. And you obviously shouldn't do them, obviously.

Spider-Man on Alcohol
Spider-Man: You have a knack for getting yourself into trouble.

Mary: You...have a knack for saving my life. I'm gonna kiss your spider mouth now. (vomits on Spider-Man)

(Spider-Man screams in fear)

Extended Scene
Mary: I'm gonna kiss your spider mouth now. (vomits on Spider-Man)

(Spider-Man screams in fear)

Mary: Wow, you're a good kisser.

Rocky on Ecstasy
Rocky: Your skin feels so good.

Apollo: Get the f@#k of me Rocky!

Rocky: Your black man swaet tastes like rainbows.

Titanic on Acid
Rose: I want you to paint me like one of your French girls Jack. (takes off her robe)

Jack: Sure thing Rose.

(Rose lies on the couch while Jack on acid paints a portrait of something demonic)

Rose: So, how's it look?

(Jack shows her the scary painting)

Rose: A for effort?

Marvel Studios' The Avengers on Cocaine
On top of a building

Tony: Woo woo! I feel awesome! Woo! I can fly! Woo!

Steve: Uh, don't you need your Iron Man suit for that?

Tony: Nope. (jumps down) Woo-hoo! (dies after landing)

Steve: Oh. Yeah I'm pretty sure he needed his suit for that.

Batman on Meth
In the Bat Cave

Alfred: Wait. What happened to the Batmobile?

Batman: Uh, I definitely didn't sell it for this huge bag of Batmeth. (sniffs in the Batmeth and exhales) I'M BATMAN! (runs away) Yeah!

The Fault in Our Stars on Laughing Gas
Augutus: Hazel Grace, my cancer came back.

Hazel: (sits in silence for three seconds and then laughs) Mom, did you switch my tank again? (laughs some more)

Frannie: Got you, bitch. (laughs)

Predator on Jenkem
Predator: Wait I don't feel anything. (Predator language)

Predator: (Sniffs bag) and this stuff smells bad. (Predator language)

Arnold Schwarzenegger: Alllhllh! You idiot that's not even a real drug you're just huffing a bag full of dog s**t! Alllllh!

28 Days Later on Bath Salts
Jim: Help! Someone get this zombie off me!

"Zombie": Woah, chill out man. I'm just really high on bath salts!

Jim: Oh, cool.

"Zombie": I know, right! (Continues to devour Jim)

Twilight on Shrooms (Deleted)
guy #1: Okay it might just be the shrooms, but I'm pretty sure that girl is f***ing a bat.

(Bella is seen having sex with a bat with pleasure to romantic music)

guy #2: Can you blame her?

Bella: Kiss me like Spider-Man!

guy #1: What?

Epilogue
producer #1: So there you have it kids; drugs are really stupid and you should never ever do them.

producer #2: So never do drugs and always remember to(notices Batman taking the television) What the hell are you doing with my TV?

Batman: I'm Batman! (runs away)

chorus men: Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah, Batmeth.