HOMELESS MILLIONAIRE!/Script

Narrator: Previously on Smosh: Anthony lost all of his hair... and I guess that's it. Enjoy!

(Anthony tries out a wig but hates it and takes it off)

Anthony: I LOOK HIDEOUS!

Ian: Hey, dude, where is your half of the rent?

Anthony: Come on, man. I can't get a job with this stupid bald head! Give me a break!

Ian: No. NO NO NO. Remember when I couldn't pay on time?

Anthony: You're sleeping in the dog loo until I get my money. BITCH!
 * flashback*

Ian: Yes, sir. *cries*

Anthony: Ok, maybe I was a little rough on you, but please, just give me a break this one --

Ian: You can come back when you have my money. BITCH!
 * Ian throws Anthony out of House*

Anthony: This sucks!

Girl: What the hell is that thing?

Boy: I think it's a bald guy.

Girl: GROSS!

Boy: Here. May God have mercy on your soul, you poor old man.

Girl: You know he is just gonna use this to buy crack, right?

Boy: Well, so are we.

Anthony: What the freaaa...... what the f**k?!
 * Anthony gets idea **light bulb appears above his head*

Ian: I thought I told you you couldn't come back until you... -*Anthony pours money on floor*

Ian: OMG! You became a prostitute?

Anthony: Better. All I did was sit on the steet corner looking sad, and a bunch of people randomly gave me money!

Ian: Wait, so you're a panhandler now? Dude, get a real job!

Anthony: A real job? This is the first thing I am actually good at! And if you can't accept that, then maybe we should BREAK UP AS BFF'S!

Ian: FINE!

Ian *cries*

Peter: Does this mean I can be your BFF now? Look, I even grew a beard just like you!

Ian: FU*K OFF PETER! *shoots Peter*

Peter: Ow! My fallopian tube!

Anthony's sign: I'M BALD GIVE ME MONEY BITCH!

Man on motorcycle: Here, you poor soul.

Anthony: FOOD? GET OUT OF HERE GIVE ME MONEY NEXT TIME!

Anthony: *laughs insanely*

Ian: What have I done? I'm a monster throwing out my BFF like garbage. I need to fix this and make things right! But first... I need to get rid of Peter's body.

Ian: Hey, man.

Anthony: If you came to apologize it's to late. I've already started panhandling with my new BFF!

Ian: I think that guy is dead.

Anthony: Noooooo. Hobo Joe just likes naps.

Ian: Well maybe I can join your little thingy.

Anthony: Are you bald?

Ian: Uh... no.

Anthony: THEN GET OUT!

Ian: (song) My BFF; there's nothing left,

But memories and sadness

We used to be oh-so-happy

all giggles, goofs and gladness.

Why did I have to try to get that rent you pay?

When all it did was make you mad

and drove you far away!

B you were the bestest friend

F I'll never forget again

Other F I never did intend

to upend, condescend, or offend my best friend

B I will win you back someday

F I swear I'll find a way

other F until then my skies are grey

want to say if you stay i will pay for a toupée.

4 hours later

Ian: Look man, I am bald so now can I join your little thing?

Anthony: I guess.

Ian:YES!

Anthony: Wait!

Ian: What? Anthony: I knew it!
 * pulls of Ian's bald cap*

Ian: Sorry; I just wanted to fit in!

Anthony: HOBO JOE READ RULE NUMBER ONE IN PANHANDLERS RULE BOOK!

Hobo Joe: RRRRRuuuuuu RRRRRRuuuuuuu

Anthony: RULE!

Hobo Joe: Rule nnnnuuuuuuu nnnnuuuuuuu

Anthony: NUMBER!

Hobo Joe: onnnnee

Anthony: Rule number 1- Any panhandler caught faking to be bald will be subject to execution!

Ian: WHAT?!

Ian: Wait. He is not even bald!

Anthony: What?

Ian: Yeah. When you were at the hospital, I bribed the doctor to put a bald cap on you!

Anthony: Double what?

Ian: Yeah, see for yourself!

Anthony: What, why?

Ian: Well at first I thought it was funny, but then it got all sad and scary.

Anthony: True that.

Ian: Sooooo BFF'S????

Anthony: BFF'S!

Hobo Joe: They're both fakers!

hobo: KILL THEM!!

My BFF, I'm glad you're back

and everything's all good

These gross hobos are trying to kill us now, so lets get the f**k out of the hood.

B we are the bestest friends.

F we'll never fight again

Other F I'm happy to amend

''And Defend.Comprehend. on Depend''

My best friend.

Hugh: GAY! WHY DON'T YOU TWO FAIRIES JUST GET MARRIED ALREADY? UNSUBSCRIBE! INTERNET JUSTICE!
 * Anthony and Ian beat the crap out of Hugh*

To see bloopers and behind the scenes footage, click the link in the description below. Oh and you can get those songs on iTunes. Thanks for subscribing! And if you don't mind, I'm gonna beat up some trolls *ow* *ow* *ow* *ow* oww...FAKE!