Old man

"I've got a way for you to make fifteen dollars. It involves a latex glove and a tub of butter. What do you say?"

- The old man to Ian.

The old man is a character on Smosh. He only appeared 2007 videos "License Test" and "Quest for the Scooter", in which he was played by Brian Rassmussen.

Character
The old man has light skin and grey hair and wears a striped white buttoned shirt and blue jeans with green suspenders. Because of his age, he occasionally uses a thick wooden stick to walk around. He has a habit of calling people doing foolish things a "dumdum".

"License Test"


During his driver's test, Anthony is instructed to take a right, where he stops at a crosswalk upon seeing the old man slowly crossing the street. As he waits for the old man to pass, his instructor soon claims that Anthony has stopped for longer than the legal three-second limit. While they wait, the instructor grows impatient and threatens to fail Anthony if he does not go. Anthony argues that he cannot go because the old man is still crossing the road, prompting the instructor to fail him.

Later, during his fourth attempt, Anthony has grown tired of the shenanagins and follows the wisdom of his instructor. In doing so, he does not stop for the old man and runs straight into him, earning him a criminal record in the process.

"Quest for the Scooter"
"Boy! If I still had the hips to ride that thing, I'd snatch that baby up in a heartbeat! After all, it is only fifteen dollars."

- The old man to Ian and Anthony.



Upon discovering that a local scooter race will be held in three days, Ian and Anthony decide to pay a visit to a neighbor Anthony heard sells scooters out of his garage. They see that only one is in stock, however; a small Barbie-themed scooter that Anthony exclaims is perfect. The old man arrives and explains that it is only fifteen dollars. The price momentarily causes Ian to panic, but while Anthony leaves to make some money on his own, the old man offers Ian a way to make the money himself. Ian initially seems uncertain, especially as the old man puts his arm around his shoulder, but he happily accepts the offer.

Ian's first task involves putting on a latex glove and using his hand to manually spread a tub's worth of butter onto toast, which the old man holds in a plate on his lap. Ian questions the man's methods of toast preparation, but the old man explains that he prefers his toast "handmade" and orders him to continue. His second task involves playing "horsey", or giving the old man a ride of his back while he crawls on all fours. Ian tries but eventually collapses. The old man comments on how much fun that was and promises Ian his money after one final task.

Ian's final task involves retrieving a stuffed cat out of a tree. He initially has trouble reaching the cat from an adjacent branch but breaks off another, smaller branch to whack it off to the ground. Handing the cat to the old man, the old man hands Ian his money and wishes him good luck on the race, watching as Ian races to the garage to grab the scooter before Anthony.