We're Stuck in Slow Motion/Script

In the living room
Ian (crosses off "learning how to tie my shoes" from his checklist):

So smart!

Anthony (enters while laughing and playing with his sword )

Yo, Ian. Check out this badass new sword I got on Etsy. Whoa!

Ian:

Watch where you're swinging that thing! You're gonna break my shelf of extremely fragile stuff.

Anthony: (flails around)

Oh no, I might break Ian's shelf of extremely fragile stuff!

Ian:

If you keep your face like that, it's gonna get stuck.

Anthony: (speaks less clearly)

Oo, oh no, (throws the sword at the shelf) stuck!

(the sword breaks the shelf including the fragile things in it)

Ian:

Dude! That was the most awesome thing freaking thing I've seen in my freaking life!

Anthony:

<p style="text-align:center;">I just stole a bunch of stuff from Miley Cyrus' house. You wanna go break it?

<p style="text-align:center;">Ian: Yeah!

<p style="text-align:center;">

Outside on the yard
<p style="text-align:center;">(Ian breaks a pig figurine, clock, and vase with the sword in slow motion) <p style="text-align:center;">

Back in the house
<p style="text-align:center;">(Ian and Anthony are stuck in slow motion)

<p style="text-align:center;">Ian:

<p style="text-align:center;">Wow! (throws his goggles) That was awesome!

<p style="text-align:center;">Anthony (throws his goggles and stops walking):

<p style="text-align:center;">Now wait, why is everything still so slow?

<p style="text-align:center;">Ian:

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh my god! We did it for so long, now we're stuck in slow motion.

<p style="text-align:center;">Anthony:

<p style="text-align:center;">This is all your (points at Ian) fault!

<p style="text-align:center;">Ian:

<p style="text-align:center;">Nah ah! (slaps Anthony)

<p style="text-align:center;">(Anthony slaps Ian)

<p style="text-align:center;">Ian (points at his hair):

<p style="text-align:center;">You've ruined my bowl haircut (points at Anthony), you dick!

<p style="text-align:center;">(Anthony runs and yells while Ian chases him) <p style="text-align:center;">

Near the front door
<p style="text-align:center;">Mailman:

<p style="text-align:center;">Hey there fellas. Got a package for you here. Just need your signature here buddy boy!

<p style="text-align:center;">(Anthony leaves the house)

<p style="text-align:center;">Mailman:

<p style="text-align:center;">You sir! Just need your Johnny Handcock!

<p style="text-align:center;">Ian:

<p style="text-align:center;">(stops by the mailman) Oh!

<p style="text-align:center;">Mailman:

<p style="text-align:center;">Just sign right here!

<p style="text-align:center;">Ian:

<p style="text-align:center;">Okay. (starts signing the I in his name)

<p style="text-align:center;">Mailman: Right there.

<p style="text-align:center;">(Ian continues signing the I)

<p style="text-align:center;">Mailman:

<p style="text-align:center;">Just sign right there buddy boy.

<p style="text-align:center;">(Ian still continues to sign the I)

<p style="text-align:center;">Mailman:

<p style="text-align:center;">Just uh...

<p style="text-align:center;">(Ian finishes signing the I)

<p style="text-align:center;">Mailman:

<p style="text-align:center;">Yeah, just uh...

<p style="text-align:center;">(Ian starts signing the A)

<p style="text-align:center;">Mailman:

<p style="text-align:center;">Just sign, just keep going there. Um, okay well yeah, just keep signing, no?

<p style="text-align:center;">(Ian continues to sign the A)

<p style="text-align:center;">Mailman:

<p style="text-align:center;">Ah, f**k this malarkey!

<p style="text-align:center;">(throws the package upwards and leaves. Anthony catches the package, leaving Ian in shock; Anthony throws the package)

<p style="text-align:center;">Ian: NOOOOO! (gets hit by the package) No. (chases Anthony again)