FINAL FANTASY VII

Final Fantasy VII is the ninth Honest Game Trailer.

Script
From Squaresoft, the company who doesn't understand the meaning of the word "Final", comes the best installment of the series (Final Fantasy Tactics title screen)... that you've actually played. Final Fantasy VII.

Journey to the steampunk world of Gaia for an epic story about an underground resistance that fights against an alien who killed off an ancient race of magical wizards... and then was cloned by Shinra or something? Look, it doesn't matter, the world saves itself in the end anyway. Spoilers.

Enjoy a groundbreaking visual experience where beautiful cutscenes blend perfectly with the hand painted backgrounds, and clash horribly with the pixelated box monster characters. Series fans will love the game they've already basically played six times. Featuring the impossible weapons (Cloud twirling his Buster Sword), stupid hair (Cloud's hair), and hours of scrolling text they can't get enough of. (The text is just fast forwarded through) Woo-hoo, reading.

Use the all-new Materia system that lets you upgrade your skills by playing with your balls, (Cid uses Knights of the Round on Safer Sephiroth) summon incredible creatures to fight by your side, whose unskippable intros just keep going... and going... and going... (the summon is sped up by 15x) and going... and going... and going... and going... aaaannd there we go.

Meet Cloud, a bland mercenary with amnesia. He'll team up with unforgettable allies like Vincent, who acted like an emo vampire before it was cool. Cid, because it's a Final Fantasy game. And Barrett, who's what Japanese people think black people are like. You'll also join forces with hot chicks like... Tifa, Aeris... th, and Sephiroth, whose beautiful hair, slender lips, and deep green eyes will leave you breath-- wait, he's a dude?! Aw, man! I have his picture up in my bedroom!

It's an unforgettable game full of moments you'll always remember, like... (Cloud in drag in Don Corneo's mansion), that time you crossdressed and snuck into a whorehouse, (Cloud using Omnislash on Sephiroth) that time you faced off against a dreamy, shirtless Sephiroth, (Sephiroth stabs Aeris) and the death of Aeris, a bold choice never before attempted in a franchise... except when Tellah died in Final Fantasy IV, Galuf died in V, Shadow in VI and Minwu in II.

So while Square farts out spinoffs like Crisis Core and Advent Children, play through their classic they still refuse to re-release in HD because reasons.

Starring...

Teets-a (Tifa), Horse Chickens (Chocobos), Mr. B (Barrett), Phoenix Downer (Aeris), Mulan (Yuffie), A Super Saiyan (Cloud), Punky Simba (Red XIII), Cats on cats on cats (Cait Sith), Edward Cullen (Vincent), and Celine Dion (Sephiroth)

Final Fantasy VII (pronounced vee).

(Aeris sinks into the water after her funeral; the narrator fights through tears) Like this if you cry every time.