COUNTER STRIKE (Honest Game Trailers)

COUNTER STRIKE is the forty-seventh Honest Game Trailer.

Script
From Valve, the company that refuses to let anyone aim down the barrel, comes the franchise that taught generations of children: "You run faster with a knife".

'''CS Player: Everyone runs faster with a knife! *smirk*'''

COUNTER-STRIKE. Yup! Counter-Strike is still a thing. I know, I can't believe it, either.

Gear up for another round of the game that's barely changed since the 90s; and return to a simpler time, before shooters added gimmicks like perks, classes, killstreaks, vehicles, iron sights, going prone, leaning, sprinting, single player, good sound or good graphics.

CS Character: Fire in the hole!

Dive into 1.6: the pure uncut cocaine of shooters; Condition Zero: the one that sucks; Source: the actual best one; or The Global Weapon Unboxing Simulator.

(show footage of players getting excited over the weapons they want)

Experience the thrill of chess with guns that pits terrorists versus counter-terrorists, in a test of speed, cunning, and deception...

(show footage of a player getting knifed while being stuck in a doorway) 

'''CS Player: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqB1uoDTdKM DOOR STUCK! DOOR STUCK! Please!] '''

...where both sides fight for control over stacks of wooden boxes. And unlike those brainless Call of Duty bros, your success or failure depends on smart financial management.

Aw yeah!

(display MLG clips)

Sick value! So prudent!

Feel the butthole-clenching rush of being the last man alive on your team; then make pathetic twitchy movements and cycle your wespons, so it looks like you know what you're doing; and feel the pressure of your dead squadmates' eyes, as you: get picked off, get distracted, and inevitably flashbang yourself.

Stop judging me!

Counter-Strike fans will tell you it's all about the gameplay, even though the franchise was pretty much dead until they let you decorate your weapon like a gun-shaped Barbie. Now, nothing in the actual game will match the excitement of buying a cosmetic change to an imaginary knife.

'''CS Player: I think I f***ing just actually s*** myself! F***! (leaves his seat, showing skid marks on his shorts) Why does this always happen?'''

But it's not just endless rounds of dust2 and dress-up. CS offers a whole world of intricate custom maps and game modes, like: Surf, Gun Game, Zombie Escape, Flying Around After You Die While Trying Not to Touch Anything, and thousands of other modes you'll play once before going back to dust2, like the conditioned lab rat you've become.

So after years of practice, tell yourself you're good enough to enter the big leagues of competitive Counter-Strike, where you'll be tested against aimbotting Norwegian teenagers who communicate telepathically, and take your place among the legends of the game that refuses to die, where every victory is a true reflection of your skill, and every defeat is lag's fault. Riiiight...

'''Starring: Silenced M-16s (Counter-Terrorists), ISIS (Terrorists), and @#$%!*#)@*! Foul-licking @#$%!*#)@*! Mother@#$%!*#)@*! Face!'''

'' US Foreign Policy Simulator. ''

We all know the real best  Counter-Strike is the bootleg Korean one (CS Online). Am I right?