Puberty: The Musical!/Lyrics

Puberty (Opening)
Man

I woke up with something

Sticky

In my bed

And the thought of my

Babysitter

Kayla in my head

Madison C.

Never knew where my

Uterus was

Before

But now I feel a cramp

I can't ignore

Man, Trish, Lucas, and Madison

Puberty (training bra)

Puberty (body hair)

It's bad for you

And it's bad for me (hormones)

Puberty

Puberty

Man with Glasses

Please take this boner

Away

From me

A Late Bloomer's Lament
Trish

Madison was

So mean to her mom

Today in carpool

If only my hormones

Were racing like hers

God, that would be so cool

Madison

Mom, you're so stupid!

Trish If only

I could be a woman

Like that

Grown enough

To yell at a boomer

But my boobies are flat

And my pits have no hair

Madison

No hair

Trish

I'm just

A pathetic

Late bloomer

Madison

I wish I was never born!

Grown Men
Lucas

I just started smellin' like

A grown ass man

Not gonna ruin I

With deodorant

Mom, stop pushin

Man with Glasses''

And I just wanna

Put my dick

Into something

It doesn't matter

What it could be

Couch cushion

Man, Man with Glasses, and Lucas

We're grown men

Man

Angry and horny

And nothing else

Man, Man with Glasses, and Lucas

We're grown men

Man with Glasses

I got one hair

On the tip of my dick

I Like Like You
Trish

Madison thinks

That Brant is cool

Does Brant even know

That she goes to this school

Lucas

Wait,

Madison C.

Or Madison L?

Trish

Madison C.

Who is Madison L?

Lucas

She's in Rachel's homeroom

And she does

Karate

Trish

Oh, that's cool, but no

Madison C. wanted

To ask Brant out

Lucas

Well, Brant

Like-likes Madison C,

But had doubts

Trish

Well, Madison C.

Like-likes Brant

But she was too

Afraid he wouldn't

Go to the dance

Lucas

Brant can be dropped off

At her house

Trish and Lucas

At 6 PM

That would be perfect

For them

Acne
Acne

I am the acne, attack me

You will never whack me

Can't escape my bumpy shape

Not even with Cerave

Zit

I'm a zit, man

s***, man

You're gonna need a hit man

I'm overactive, unattractive

Better get that bitch Proactive

Acne

We poppin' up

Zit

We poppin' up

Zit and Acne

Medical acne

Health Class Horror
Teacher

Herpes from a

Kiss on the lips

Touching mouths

And that could be it

Gonorrhea

HIV

Here's the list

Of STDs

These are STDs

These are STDs

These are STDs

STDs

STDs

STDs

STDs

STDs

Raaaaaaah!

The Menstrual Blues
Trish

It's too scary

How do people do this?

I can't find the hole

I don't know where to put it in

Maxi Pad

Comfort should be the goal

Trish

Maxi Pad?

Maxi Pad

Trish, there's no shame in using me.

Sure, I feel like a diaper, but-

Tampon

You're not a baby, are you?

Trish

Tampon?

Tampon

Only pussies use pads.

Trish

That's a really confusing sentence.

Tampon

Slide me up

Just prod around

The hole was lost

But

It will be found

'Cause I got a

Big, sexy

Cardboard

Applicator

Leave Room for Me
Jesus

This is how we dance

Appropriately

Put your arms out

Like a mummy

Now turn face to face

But

Don't hold each other close

Push each other away

Leave room for me

Leave room for me

This is how people

Get pregnant

Leave room for me

Finale
Man with Glasses

I got

A boner

In class

Trish, Lucas, Teacher, Madison, and Man

In class

Man with Glasses

Ah