OUR GENERATION IS DOOMED: The Movie/Script

In Anthony's room

ANTHONY

(tries to reach for his alarm clock)

Where the hell's my alarm clock?

NARRATOR

What if every piece of technology that you held dear...

ANTHONY

(sits by his desk)

Where the f**k's my computer?!

NARRATOR

...never existed?

In the living room

ANTHONY

Mom, where's my computer?

ANTHONY'S MOM

Your what?

ANTHONY

My computer mom! Stop messing with me and

(searches in his pockets)

where the hell's my phone?

<p style="text-align:center;">ANTHONY'S MOM

<p style="text-align:center;">It's right over there silly.

<p style="text-align:center;">ANTHONY

<p style="text-align:center;">(grabs the rotary phone)

<p style="text-align:center;">The hell is this piece of crap? I don't remember anyone's number, my phone does that for me.

<p style="text-align:center;">(throws the phone)

<p style="text-align:center;">Stupid!

<p style="text-align:center;">ANTHONY'S MOM

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh, honey, why don't you go churn some butter? That always seems to calm you.

<p style="text-align:center;">ANTHONY

<p style="text-align:center;">No, oh, oh, (runs away) no oh oh.

<p style="text-align:center;">NARRATOR

<p style="text-align:center;">A girly-haired man fights for survivial...

In the neighborhood

Anthony: (stops running) Oh my god, I'm lost. (stops a jogger) Hey uh, can you tell me how to get to three forty-three Sparks Street please?

jogger: Oh sure; you take a left up at Spruce Road, take another right on Luther Street, turn right at the first light but don't take that first turn, you're gonna get lost. And after that, then you're gonna go around...

Anthony: How am I suppose to remember all of this?

jogger: No problem. (gets out his map) Here, take my map. (gives Anthony the map and leaves)

Anthony: (opens the crap) How am I suppose to use this crap?!

narrator: ...in a world that people thirty years ago would have managed just fine in.

"At Ian's house"

(Anthony repeatedly knocks on Ian's door)

Ian: (opens the door while eating cereal) What's up bro?

Anthony: Ian, what the hell's going on? No one knows what a GPS is, my toothbrush isn't vibrating, I-I'm not able to go on Twitter to complain about my life.

Ian: Dude chill out, I got two tickets to Skrillex. You wanna come?

Anthony: Oh my god yes please! Dude I thought I was going crazy.

In the Skrillex concert

(Sonny plays the Batá drum)

Ian: Here comes the drop.

Sonny: JIMMY, GET OFF THE PONY! (makes noises through a traffic cone)

(everyone in the audience cheered except for Anthony)

Ian: Woo!

Anthony: No, this isn't right! (runs away)

Ian: Skrill, have my babies!!

narrator: How long would you survive?

At Ian's dining table

Ian: Come on man, eat your food.

Anthony: How am I suppose to eat it if I can't even Instagram a picture of it first?

Ian: Just eat it dude, I churned this butter myself and is hecka delicious!

narrator: In a world without touch screens.

In the living room

Anthony: (groans while moving his finger vertically on a book) How do you read more?

narrator: In a world where you couldn't show everyone what you're doing all the time.

Back at the dining table

Anthony: I'm scared man, nothing makes sense anymore.

Ian: Well, it's like Gandhi always said, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself."

Anthony: Uh, you mean Roosevelt?

Ian: No, pretty sure that was Gandhi.

Anthony: Well, we just have to see what Wikipedia has to say about it, then.

Ian: Who's Wikipeda?

Anthony: Oh my god. If Wikipedia doesn't exist then, how are we suppose to prove people wrong?

Ian: Well, I guess we'll just have to assume that I'm right. (eats his food)

Anthony: No, no no, no! I have to prove you wrong! I HAVE TO! (gets up and runs away)

(Ian wipes his face with a napkin)

In the neighborhood

(Anthony runs away while screaming)

Ian: (tries to chase Anthony) Anthony! (calls the general in the Pentagon)

Dicksworth: (picks up the phone) General Dicksworth speaking.

Ian: Okay he failed your experiment, can we just stop this.

Dicksworth: Ahahah, fine.

Ian: Thank you. (hangs up)

Dicksworth: (puts down the phone) This generation is f***ed.

narrator: Smosh presents Our Generation is F***ed: The Movie.

Anthony: (continues running) Wait, I don't know how to run without my iPod. (runs pathetically and falls on someone else's front yard while moving his moving his legs)

narrator: Seriously, we're f***ed.

Deleted Scene
Anthony: I don't remember anyone's number, my phone does that for me. (throws the phone) Stupid!

Anthony's mom: (gets a bottle of Cola) Relax hon, have a soda. (gives Anthony the soda)

Anthony: (takes the soda) Thanks mom. (drinks the soda and spits it out) Mom this is warm!

Anthony's mom: What do you expect me to do, go to the mountains and get you some ice?