Board Thread:General Discussion/@comment-79.101.199.57-20140318135655/@comment-77.46.252.251-20150615153727

Additions to  "If Schwarzenegger showed up in that movie" ideas (read the previeous post ...also feel free to add your own ideas to it)

"National Lampoon's Vacation" sketch - breakfast scene addition: arnold suffs them all with waffles and other food items - and then, because they chew it to slow Arnold says "This is not going to woerk.." - feches a donut box and gets all their wafles and stuff sticking out of their mouths and put them into the box and then goes to the blender and puts it all into it and adds some more stuff from the fridge (eggs, peanut butter, broccoli, milk....) for good measure and blends it (you know what movie that's from) and then takes funnels - one each - and they all hold it in their mouths upwards so he goes from one to the other and pours the liquid mixture from the blender cup it into funnels for them to chug it down as quickly as (not) possible - "Hurry, aaaa, we need to hurry! Come oen.". [...] The scene where Arnold drives them in that family caravan (oh - by the way: the scene when police officer an a bike (the same as T-1000 in Terminator 2) stops them, makes hand gesture for Arnold at the driver's seat to roll down the window, Arnload instead points his finger at a little door under the rearview mirror, officer - confused; Arnold makes gesture with fingers - like: open it, and lifts a telephone handle on the inside behind that closed window smiling politely and points to the lower part of the receiver, officer irritated - opens the finickey little door and gets the telephone handle, Arnold says: "Hello owficcer, what's the prawblem?" - the officer asks: "Are you ok?", Arnold: "I'm right here, I'm fine.", Officer: "Are you sure? Are you sure you're all right?", Arnold puts the hand over the microphone on the phone, asks "What's the dogs name?", Aunt Edna says from the back: "Max.", Arnold to the phone handle: "Hey officer, what's wrong with Wolfie? I can hear him barking. Is he OK?" -"Wolfie's fine, wolfie's just fine. :-) Where are you?", Arnold hangs up a phone handle pushes peddal to the metal, the car screeches on, Aut Edna: "I was afraid you would get pulled over man! ..You've been exceeding the speed limit for THOUSANDS of miles...", Griswold's son: "He wasn't speeding. The cop stopped us because dad forgot to..", Griswold's wife stopes him: "He WAS speeding Rusty.", Arnold: "Hey - whom are you calling rusty - oh sorry I thought nevermind" -Griswold's son: "No he wasn't mom.", Arnold: "Rusts! Listan to yoeur moether, I wos speeding! ..Driving like a maniac!" - says that while going even faster now - "You can all be greatful for that man for stopping us. ... ... ... Oh, by the woey: your doeg is ded.", Aunt Edna surprised: "Dog killer!!" - and she looks to the back and unhooks the piece of hook stuck in the hole at the back of the car with a dog leash on it and throws it away) - and then the Griswald says "...You know I usually like speed, but I really think you should... you know.. drive a little slower - I mean - this car can reach 50 miles per hour tops - yet you somehow manage to drive it to 130!?!?!" - Arnold drops the crige turns to him and says: "Chill out ; dickwad." - and that's the moment they launch off the ramp through the 'Road closed' sign. When they finally dropped to the ground Arnold says "Now look at what you made me do!" - Griswold says: "Better check under the hood.", Arnold stops him: "NO! You stay there! I'LL BE BAAK.", runs off to the back (backwards?), pause, comes back to the car "You might wanna roll up the windows first." - Griswolds: "Oh." - they start rolling 'em up - like what d' hell, Griswold puts hands on the wheel and looks at the wristwatch poofing impatiently - at that moment Arnold comes from above driving a Harrier jump jet with a hook with a dog leash under it tied to the harrier jump jet - hooking a car at the roof - and off they go even faster than before - sheet metal of the car waves from the wind, wood panels start flapping - the whole thing is barely not falling apart.

"E.T." sketch - Yes, Arnold (big as he is) is driving (swerving comically through the street and up and down dusty hills) a small bicycle from that E.T. movie with one hand, with E.T. with a face of Mr Bean with turban on his head made from a white towel and another towel over that, in the front basket, with his glowing flashing index finger stuck in one of his nostrils, and he is fireing a machine gun Commando style (Arnold, not E.T.) left and right trying to break through - you got that right. When they fly off the ground Arnold is holding his eyes tightly shut, cringing,   and saying "Tell me when it's oever!", flying - so he spreads legs, opens eyes, surprised of height, shuts them back tightly again and cringes.

"Lord of The Rings" sketch: Gandolf falls, hangs from the edge of the cliff, says "Run.. you fools.."; Frodo: "GANDOOOOOLF!"; Arnold: "Yeah right! Here, I'll pull him in a jiffy!" - pulls Gandolf up holding him at both of his arms (you KNOW where this is going) just when you think everything is going to be OK - wham - I giant boulder falls by the cliff edge - OH SNAP! - Arnold surprised: "...See you at the PARTY Gandolf..", drops em', turns away, says: "Ahhh... the PARTY.", puts hand to his chin and nostalgically reminiscences 'the-good-ol'-times' --- in a thought bubble we see Arnold in his Russian uniform (from movie "Red Heat") sitting at a communist PARTY meeting at the table with the comrades - some in uniforms, some in gray suits with ties and thick glasses with thick black rimms, and he is drinking VODKA with Yeltzin, cheering to the black-and-white picture on the wall - with Gandolf on it posing like Marx (Karl Marx that is) and a slogan underneth the picture saying YOU SHALL NOT PASS (probably with lines crossing vertically every S in the slogan - cause U.S.S.R.), and also a picture of Mark Twain left from it - cause their names: Marx - Mark - get it? Huh.