Every Wrestler Ever / Script

The official script of Every Wrestler Ever.

Script
'Narrator: Our friends at WWE issued a challenge, do our best impressions of classic WWE stars. We said yes, as long as they did it with us.'

Xavier Woods (Randy Savage): Who's the best tag team in the history of WWE? Dig it!

'Narrator: We apologize in advance to all wrestling fans we're about to offend. Every Wrestler Ever, Kind Of. Ric Flair!'

Olivia (Ric Flair): To be the man-

Ian (Ric Flair): -You gotta be the man, Whoo!

Olivia (Ric Flair): Whoo!

Ian (Ric Flair): Whoo!

Olivia (Ric Flair): Whoo!

Ian (Ric Flair): Whoooooo!

Narrator: "Macho Man" Randy Savage.

Seth Rollins (Randy Savage): Macho Man!

Xavier Woods (Randy Savage): Randy Savage-

Noah Grossman (Randy Savage): Is the best wrestler-

Seth Rollins (Randy Savage): -On planet Earth!

Keith Leak II (Randy Savage): Ooh Yeah!

Noah Grossman (Randy Savage): Mmm! *Starts flexing biceps*

Xavier Woods (Randy Savage): Danger zone!

Seth Rollins (Randy Savage): Dig it!

Narrator: The Big Show!

Olivia Sui (Big Show): I am the Big Show, the World's Largest Athlete. Yaaa!

Narrator: André The Giant.

Olivia Sui (André The Giant): I am Andre The Giant. Yaaa!

Narrator: Seth Rollins?

Olivia Sui (Seth Rollins): I didn't sell out...I bought in.

Seth Rollins: You sound so stupid. But you look great. *Slaps Olivia on the back*

Narrator: Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Ian Hecox (Steve Austin): Austin 3:16 says I just whooped your a*s!

Xavier Woods (Steve Austin): That's the bottom line, 'cuz Stone Cold said so. Somebody give me a hell yeah!

Smosh Crew #1: Hell yeah!

Xavier Woods (Steve Austin): I drink beers! Now dummy-no, no beers? I diet like a man! No diagnose? Whip your a*s! *Drinks water* Yeah, hell yeah one man, 3:16! One man.

Narrator: Hulk Hogan!

Paige (Hulk Hogan): What'cha gonna do-

Noah Grossman (Hulk Hogan): ...Brother-

Keith Leak II (Hulk Hogan): When Hulkamania-

Daniel Bryan (Hulk Hogan): Runs wild on you?!

Ian (Hulk Hogan): What'cha gonna do, brother, when Hulkamania runs wild on you!

Hulk Hogan: You know something brother, that's probably the worst Hulk Hogan imitation I've ever heard! It goes like this jack. What'cha gonna do when Hulk Hogan and Hulkamania run wild on you, brother?

Ian: Nah, no, I don't think you got it.

Hulk Hogan: You better just run.

Ian: Okay, I'm gonna run. *starts running*

Narrator: Every Wrestler Ever, Kind Of.

Noah (Stone Cold Steve Austin): Austin 3:16 says I just whooped your a*s and that's the bottom line 'cuz Stone Cold said-

Dolph Ziggler: Stone Cold, my man! You better not fool anybody with those glasses. Hell yeah, right? Ha ha!