Scribblenauts in Real Life/Script

Introduction
(Max walks in the park)

Maxwell: Man, I can't wait to help a bunch of people by solving fun puzzles!

Objective: Get Cat Out of Tree
(Cat Lady is crying by a tree, Max walks over to her)

Maxwell: What's wrong, lady?

Cat Lady: My cat's stuck in this tree.

Maxwell: (OBJECTIVE: GET CAT OUT OF TREE) Leave it to me. (takes out his Nintendo DS, spells out "LADDER" to make it appear, and giggles) I'll get it. (climbs the ladder, gets the cat) Is this your cat? (jumps down and gives it to the lady) Here you go!

Cat Lady: (takes the cat) Ah, you just made my day. (giggles)

Maxwell: Would you say I made it purr-fect? (Cat Lady looks on in confusion) Get it? (giggles)

Cat Lady: I don't get it.

(Maxwell types in "ROCKET-POWERED ROLLERSKATES" to make it appear on his feet and skates away while holding the middle finger)

Cat Lady: (trips on the ladder and drops her cat) THANKS FOR LEAVING THE LADDER THERE, YOU BUTT-HOLE SURFER!

Objective: Stop The Walking Dead Spoilers
Spoiler Bitch: And can you believe that the Governor had all those heads... (keeps talking)

(the hypocritical douchebag covers his ears while yelling)

Maxwell: (appears) Can I be of service?

Hypocritical douchebag: Yes, thank you so much. This stupid guy will not stop spoiling The Walking Dead!

Spoiler Bitch: Oh, and then Derryl, what's the deal with that? I mean, how are you gonna kill your only living...

Maxwell: C'mon, man! I-I've only made it half way through the second season!

Spoiler Bitch: Well, it's your fault for not keeping up! Anyway... (keeps talking)

(Maxwell spells "HOMERUN BAT" and picks the Super Smash Bros. type to reveal a bat on his hands and hit the spoiler bitch offscreen)

Narrator: SPOILER BITCH DEFEATED!

hypocritical douchebag: Ah, thank you so much man. I could not stand people like that; it's just like my mom; when she saw The Sixth Sense, she was like, "Oh, Bruce Willis is dead the whole time!" (laughs) Some people, right?

Maxwell: C'mon man, I haven't seen that movie yet!

hypocritical douchebag: Seriously? It-It's been like fifteen years man! What the hell's with... (goes offscreen after getting hit by Maxwell's Home-Run Bat)

narrator: HYPOCRITICAL DOUCHEBAG DEFEATED!

Objective: Help the "Special" Kid
(Maxwell turns around and sees Paulie)

Paulie: Make me a balloon.

Maxwell: Uh. You got it... guy. (spells "BALON") Uh, how do you spell it again? Wait-wait, uh. (spells "BULLUNE") No, what the, what is it? (first spells out, "BULLO")

Paulie: It's spelled with two O's.

Maxwell: Yeah, I know that! (spells "BULLON", "BELLOON") Uh, gimme a second. Is it none of this... (spells "BA")

Paulie: It also has two L's.

Maxwell: Okay don't help me! I-I got this god damn it! I'm the expert, okay? So shut up! Come on! (spells "BALLOOOGNE", "BALŪN", "BALLEWN") No. (spells, "BALLSACK") No. (spells, "BANANARAMA") Come on, come on. What?! (spells, "BLUMPKIN", "BOOBZ", and "BABELLOO") Can I just give you something else?!

Paulie: Okay. Make me a pirate ship.

Maxwell: Okay, that's kinda weird (spells, "PILE OF S**T) but, okay.

Paulie: No, I said, "a pirate ship." (gets squashed by the pile of s**t)

Maxwell: Oh no! (runs away)

Objective: Help this Man with His Herpes
Maxwell: Can I be of service?

(Cold sore guy stops drinking from the water fountain)

Maxwell: Oh my god, what is withAugh!

Cold Sore Guy: What?

Maxwell: Uh, nothing. I, I'll help you - just, uh, don't let my face touch yours, please.

Cold Sore Guy: Oh, what's wrong with my face, huh?

Maxwell: Well, you have herpes.

Cold Sore Guy: No, I don't!

Maxwell: Ye-Ye-Ye-Ye-Yeah you do.

Cold Sore Guy: Okay, I might get an occasional cold sore here or there, but it's really not that big of a deal.

Maxwell: Fine, fine.

Cold Sore Guy: (reads the objective which says "Help the man with his Herpes") Cold sores!

Maxwell: It's okay, it's an easy fix. My girlfriend had the same kind of thing. (spelled, "HERPES CREME" to reveal a container of herpes cream on the guy's hand)

Cold Sore Guy: Why would you give me this? I don't have herpes for the last time; it's cold sores. In fact, seventy percent of Americans have cold sores, okay?

Maxwell: Okay, I'm pretty sure that cold sores is just a nice way of saying herpes.

Cold Sore Guy: Oh, I'll give you a sore, you little bitch! (chases Maxwell)

Maxwell: No, no, no. (trips on the ladder and falls on the cat stands up and stops the Cold Sore Guy) Wait wait, I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you. (types "PRESENT" to reveal a box on the guy's hand)

Cold Sore Guy: Ooh! What's in the box? I hope it's not my wife's head like in that Brad Pitt movie Seven.

Maxwell: (breathes) I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT MOVIE YET!

Cold Sore Guy: No, no, no, no, no, no! (gets hit by the bat and goes offscreen)

narrator: HERPES GUY DEFEATED.

Cold Sore Guy: They're cold sores, you butthole surfer!