If Video Games Were Real/Script

Introduction
(Anthony plays Halo)

Ian: Waitwaitwait. You're tank was upside down and then your Master Chief guy just came up and flipped it right back over?

Anthony: Yeah.

Ian: Yeah, that's really realistic.

Anthony: Okay, name one game that would still be fun if it was realistic.

Super Mario Bros.
Princess Peach: Listen Mario, if you want some of that princess' ass, it's gonna cost you.

Mario: Alright, I'll pay you in gold coins. All I got to do is punch this brick. (hurts his hand from punching the brick) AAHH!! F*****!!!!

Wii Sports
Anthony: 0-0. (served the tennis ball)

(Ian and Anthony play tennis pathetically)

Anthony: God, (drops the tennis racket) tennis sucks!

Metal Gear Solid
Colonel: Snake, we need you to infiltrate Otacon's new base. Be sure you use whatever you can to sneak in.

Snake: Okay, Colonel. I've got something up my sleeve.

At the base

(Snake tries to sneak in by moving in a box, but the guards see where he is; and a guard coughed)

guard: WAHHHH!!! (shoots and kills Snake)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
(turtles are swimming in a tank)

Battletoads
(toads are inside a fish tank)

Katamari Damacy
Prince: Woo! I'm gonna roll the world up! Ahahaha!

Anthony: He was... dropped on his head as a kid.

Prince: I'm gonna roll you guys up! Rolly rolly rolly!

The Sims
Anthony: Someone removed the freaking toilet!

Everyone:(Started Screaming in horror) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Tomb Raider
(Lara runs though the forest and stops at a tree)

Lara: (whispers) Oh, (speaks at normal voice) my back hurts from these god damn breast implants!

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
(Link is breaking pots and hits bushes with his sword)

Anthony: Hey, what the hell are you doing with my stuff?!

Link: I'm looking for rupees. (keeps on doing his actions)

Sonic the Hedgehog
(two burglars are beating up Sonic)

burglar # 1: I don't see any gold rings; are you?

burglar # 2: No. All I'm seeing is blood.

burglar # 1: Oh god!

(they both kept on beating Sonic up)

Grand Theft Auto (Deleted)
(The police chases the carjacker)

police: Hey you, stop!

(the carjacker hurt his elbow from trying to open the car)

carjacker: Oh, oh!

(The police pointed his gun at the carjacker busting him)

Scribblenauts (Deleted)
Maxwell: (eats a sandwich) I'm thristy. (writes out the word milk, but sees that nothing happens) Where's my milk? Where is it? Well oh BOB SAGAT!

Ending
Ian: Oh come on!

Anthony: (stops playing) Red ring of death, again.

Ian: Alright, I'll just go to my mom's house and get the N64. (stands up and leaves)

Anthony: Thanks.

Outside in the neighborhood

(Ian whistles, sees Anthony's text message about bringing Goldeneye, and has a bookshelf fall on him)

Ian: Oh no, no, ow ow! (Tries to lift the shelf but fails) HEEELP! Help!

(Master Chief comes by)

Master Chief: Need some help?

Ian: Master Chief?! Thanks for helping out, I'm s-sorry I ever doubted you.

(Master Chief tries to lift the shelf, but fails)

Master Chief: F**k this. (leaves)

Ian: Fine, I get out of here myself! I don't care if it'll take me ten minutes or ten years!

10 years later

(A skeleton is stuck under the book shelf; Ian walks up moments later)

Ian: Alright, who put the skeleton under the bookshelf?!