MY GRANDPA'S DIRTY SECRET/Script

Anthony: (carries a box) Oh Ian, check it out! My grandpa just died so I got a bunch of his old crap! (dropped the box)

Ian: How did he die.

Anthony: Heart-attack.

In te past sometime

(Anthony grandfather was about to watch 2 Girls 1 Cup)

Anthony grandfather: Hhm, 2 Girls 1 Cup, what's this? (watches the video) Nice nice.. (saw somethng surprise in the video)

Back in the present

Anthony; Ah, it's kinda weird that he left me all his old stuff though; he always hated me.

Ian: What's this? (picks up a map)

Anthony: Is that a treasure map?!

Ian: Sweet, I love treasure maps! It's just like when my mom used to hide my asthma medication.

Anthony: (Picks up the letter) The hell, he left me a letter?

Anthony's grandfather: (in spirit) Anthony, you and your life partner must use this map to find the treasure of great importance.

Ian: Life partner?

Anthony: Yeah, he's always thought you were gay.

Ian: Why?!

Anthony: I might have told him you were.

Ian: What?!

Anthony: Whatever; okay?! He was old and it made him really happy. Now let's go (takes the map) find that treasure.

Out in the front yard

Anthony: All right, so it looks like we need to get the sword to defeat the treasure guardian, then get the key for the treasure chest.

Ian: This is gonna be the best adventure ever!

narrator: (sings)''Oh, Ian and Anthony have a map, they don't have time for this or that.  They're on an adventure for riches and gold, his grandpa's dead, smelly and old.''

In the back yard

Ian: (sings) ''Going on an adventure.  We're gonna find some.''

Anthony: (interrupted Ian's song) Look! (sees the Master Sword guarded by two people) Come on! (Goes to the sword with Ian)

guard on the right: Halt!

(The other guard stopped them)

guard on the right: Only the most attractive and fashionable people are allowed to cross through my land. We have standards sir. Hhm, (points at Anthony) you can go.

(The other guard let the gate open for Anthony, but closed it for Ian)

guard on the right: Oh no, not you.

Ian: Why?!

guard on the right: Cause you're not gonna crocs in socks.Take them off, then I'll let you pass.

Ian: NO! They're comfty!

guard on the right: Take them off right now!

Ian: No!

(the guard tries to take them off)

Ian: No, no. Just stop.

tour guide: So as you can see, this is your technical American neighborhoOh dear god.

(the guard took the crocs off)

guard on the right: Ha, now you shan't spread your disgusting taste in fashion any further. (claps the crocs to have the other guard open the gate)

(Anthony picks up the Master Sword)

narrator: (sings) Oh, Anthony so totally rocks,Ian's sad he lost his crocs. A tourist group that the portfolo led Watch some dude give Ian...

At a different backyard

Anthony: Head around the corner and let me know if you see anything.

Ian: Okay. (sneaks up and sees two male tranvestites with a key) (whispers) Yes.

(Ian and Anthony walks to the key ignoring the two other guys)

tranvestite # 1: Yeah boys.

(Anthony got the key)

tranvestite # 2: Hi, what's your name?

Ian: Hi.

Anthony: Come on Ian, we got the key. Let's go!

Ian: Okay, can we just hang out with these hot babes for a little while?

Anthony: No, come on man!

(the second tranvestite grabbed Ian)

tranvestite # 2: Ain't you a prevepile?

(Ian realized the "babes" were males)

Ian: OH MY GOD, IT'S A TRAP! RUN ANTHONY; RUN FOR YOUR LIVE! Oh oo, that's-that's pretty good. Yeah a little lower.

narrator: Oh, Ian and Anthony barely survived, bravely fought and almost died. Anthony fled a sight so loot, Ian was rubbed by a dude.

At the park

Anthony: So the treasure should be right up here guarded by a pirate.

pirate: Well I've been waiting eighty-three years for someone to steal my treasure and your not gonna get through me. (Runs slowily while yelling)

(Anthony holds the Master Sword to the pirate to easily kill him)

pirate: Ouch. (dies)

(Ian presses the easy button)

button: That was easy.

Anthony: (walks to the treasure) This is it. (drops the sword and opens the treasure chest)

(Anthony got the treasure which is a laptop; Anthony opens the laptop revealing a note)

Anthony's grandfather: (in spirit) Ha! Got you Bitch! There's not any treasure out here you idiot! Oh yeah, check out this sweet video I found online.

(Anthony watches 2 Girls 1 Cup)

Ian: Hey what are you watchingWhat are they doing? Plehh!

narrattor:2GIRLS1CUP'D!

Deleted Scene
(Ian uts his shirt back on in the park)

Ian: Dude wait up, so you never told me why your grandpa blamed you for your grandma's death.

Anthony: Well, she kinda died of a heart-attack to.

In a flashback

(Anthony found a 2 Girls 1 Cup video)

Anthony: Hey grandma, check out this awesome site I found! It's called, "2 Girls 1 Cup."

Anthony's grandmother: Why would two girls need one... (got surprised by the video)

Deleted Clip
(After Anthony read the message)

Anthony: Yeah, he always thought you were gay.

Ian: Why?!

Anthony: Look at you; you got really well groomed hair!