DIABLO 3

Diablo 3 is the fifteenth honest trailer.

Script
"From Blizzard, the company who keeps remaking Starcraft, Warcraft, and Magic: The Gathering comes the series that will send you to hell and back if you can get it to start: Diablo. Experience all three of the action RPG click-fest that gave an entire generation carpal tunnel syndrome: Diablo One, Diablo Two, and Diablo Three. Ah, the pain; hurts so much.  Must keep playing.

Stare in all at some of gaming's most beautifully rendered cutscenes as they draw you into playing games that look like s**t by comparison featuring all the colors of a depressing rainbow like gray, brown, dark gray, and dark brown.

Immerse yourself in the lore as you skip your way through the story of the Diablo universe:

the stranger: Falling...

Deckard Cain: It is...

Leah: Goatmen...

Deckard Cain: Core...

Magius: The goatmen...

an epic tale full of twist and turns that boils down to hell bad, heaven good.

But it's not the story and graphics that Diablo fans care about, suit up for three great dungeon crawlers that are all about the gear where you spend an eternity grinding out useless items to find that one piece you're looking for, or just pretend to be a hacker and steal the stuff people give you to duplicate. Haha! That's what you get for trusting a stranger on the Internet!

Embark on your quest to kill the three most powerful demons in existence because some old dude (Deckard Cain) who sounds like Bay told you too,

Deckard Cain: Stay awhile and listen.

then do it over and over again with all of the different character classes like the big-dumb-tough ones, the smaller-smarter-tough ones, the weak ones who shoot stuff and run away, the even weaker ones who let their pets do the dirty work, and the magic ones that are so weak they die if a monster farts at their general direction.

Take on wave-after-wave of unique enemies like demons, spiders, corpses, and imps; then crank up the difficulty to face new challenges like slightly different colors of demons, spiders, corpses, and imps who have all been modified with the random grab bag of unfair advantages. Teleporter Vortex Desecrators? Sounds like a terrible metal band. Then once you've finally maxed out with the best gear at the highest difficulty, I don't know, go outside maybe.

So play through all three classics on PC as you prepare for the rerelease of Diablo 3, a game that's gone through more flip-flops than a college dorm shower like always online, not for consoles; real money auction house, forget it ever happened; too easy, make it as hard as you like, and no PVP arena, uh check out Blizzard's Heroes of the Storm coming soon.

Starring hot wings (Tyrael), Khal Drogo, Deadard Cain (Deckard Cain dead), haters are her motivators, the flailing nun, Tony Shaloub, oo-ee-oo-ahh-ahh, baalin', Slenderman, and horny Godzilla. Diablo.

So there is a cow level, liars."