Ian's Birthday/Script

(camera shows Anthony playing Guitar Hero, with Hardcore Max playing in the background)

ANTHONY'S MOM: Anthony, are you still here?

ANTHONY: Shut up, mom, I'm about to do the solo!

(Anthony rapidly plays guitar)

ANTHONY'S MOM: Aren't you supposed to be at Ian's birthday party?

ANTHONY: Yeah, but that's not even 'till like three 'o clock...

(Anthony takes a look at his bedside clock. The clock reads "3:17", which quickly turns to '3:18". He then gets shocked and puts down his guitar, while Guitar Hero is still playing. He then puts his guitar on the bed, then picks up his present and leaves the room.)

(Camera cuts to Anthony's garage. After getting in his car, he drives off hurriedly.)

(Camera cuts to Ian's home. Ian wearing a party hat, in his home, ornately decorated for his birthday party, is seen waiting impatiently for Anthony and is getting rather bored.)

(Camera cuts to Anthony's car. At a crossing junction, Anthony pulls up behind another car, to the annoyance of the driver.)

DRIVER: Woah! That kid's really getting on my ass.

(Camera cuts to Ian's house again. Ian is seen reading a magazine titled "Muscle Mag" due to boredom.)

(Camera cuts to Anthony and the driver. Anthony is seen tailgating the driver's car, but eventually overtakes it, making the driver even more annoyed, and gives Anthony the finger, making Anthony exasperated.)

DRIVER: Look out, kids! (quite inaudible)

(Camera cuts to Ian's house again. He is seen reading yet another magazine, one titled "Jewelry Creations".)

(Camera cuts to outside Ian's house. Anthony is seen trying to park, but oversteers.)

ANTHONY: Oh, sh*t!

(Anthony brakes his car, but it is too late and he has hit something. A dog's squealing is heard. Anthony then hurriedly comes out of the car and inspects the damage.)

ANTHONY: *gasps* *heaves* Oh my...god...Sparky...?

(Anthony looks very worried as he thought that he had accidentally killed Ian's pet dog, Sparky. He quickly takes some goods from his car.)

(Camera cuts to Ian inside his home. Ian is still seen reading the jewelry magazine. He hears his front door open and looks up. He sees Anthony and is finally happy.)

ANTHONY: Happy birthday!

(Anthony brings Ian a cake and places it on the table.)

IAN: Hey, you made it!

(Ian stares at the candles on the cake, all shaped like the number "3")

IAN: What's with the "3"s?

ANTHONY: It's all the store had.

(Ian is perplexed and is still looking at the candles.)

ANTHONY: Just add 'em up to get your age, (under his breath) lazy bastard.

IAN: (jokingly) So...I'm twelve years old?

ANTHONY: Just blow out the candles...

IAN: All right...

(Ian makes a wish.)

IAN: (whispers) I wish I had a girlfriend!

(Ian blows out the candles. Anthony gets excited and inquires about the wish.)

ANTHONY: So, what did you wish for?

IAN: Oh, nothin', man.

ANTHONY: Oh, c'mon, tell me.

(Ian is getting exasperated)

IAN: It's nothing.

ANTHONY: Come on...

IAN: It's nothing, Anthony.

(Anthony gets too excited)

ANTHONY: Oh, come on, tell me!

(Ian is very exasperated)

IAN: A girlfriend! Why do you care?!

(Anthony indirectly mentions his accident)

ANTHONY: If I were you, I'd wish for a dog. (under his breath) Err...maybe that's just me.

IAN: Why would I wish for a dog? I already have Sparky.

ANTHONY: (giggles) Yeah, I know, huh?

IAN: (giggles) Yeah.

(Camera cuts to the present. Ian eagerly takes it.)

IAN: Is this my present?

ANTHONY: Well, it is your birthday, right?

(Ian gets excited. He opens up the present hurriedly and finds a toilet roll inside. He gets excited)

IAN: Oh my god, no way. I've been out of this stuff for like, three weeks!

(Ian peers at the toilet roll)

IAN: You're the bestest friend ever!

(Ian unrolls the toilet roll and fiddles around with it. He gets really excited.)

IAN: Is this the - no way! This is the 2 Ply diamond weave texture for extra durability! I've seen this thing hold like five wet baseballs on TV! Oh my god!

(Camera cuts to Anthony who is writing something on the wrapping paper while Ian is blabbering away about the texture of the toilet roll.)

ANTHONY: That's not all!

(Anthony pulls out the used wrapping paper.)

IAN: Another present?

ANTHONY: (hesitant) Th-that's right...err...open it up...

(Ian unfolds the wrapping paper and finds "I O U 1 K9" (I owe you one canine) written on it. Ian immediately gets flustered)

IAN: I owe you one canine? Anthony, what is this?

(Anthony indirectly mentions the case)

ANTHONY: Err...y'know...just in case something happened...to your dog...

(Ian gets shocked)

IAN: Something happened to Sparky?!

ANTHONY: (giggles) No...er...maybe... (gets cut off by Ian)

(Ian jumps out of his seat and pulls off his party hat, looking very angry. Anthony has no choice but to admit his wrongdoing.)

IAN: Anthony, tell me what happened to Sparky!

ANTHONY: *gasps* Fine. I...I'll show you... (Anthony then pulls off his own party hat. Ian throws his hat in a fit of rage.)

(Camera cuts to outside Ian's house. Ian is seen storming out while Anthony is trying to appease him.)

ANTHONY: Okay...before you see it, I just want you to know it was an accident. I was pulling up to your house, and he jumped out of nowhere and I had no time to stop, and I just-

(Anthony and Ian stop. Camera cuts to a worm's eye view, showing a blond mop of hair. Anthony puts his hand on Ian's shoulder, looking very remorseful.)

ANTHONY: I'm so sorry, man.

(Ian suddenly does not look very angry anymore.)

IAN: Dude, that's not my dog.

(Anthony is shocked to hear Ian's comment.)

ANTHONY: It's not?

IAN: No...that's my sister! (giggles) Now, who wants some cake?

(Ian runs back inside his house, laughing all the way. Anthony stands by the mop of hair and stares intensely. Video ends.)