HORNY CELLMATE (Smosh Libs)/Script

Introduction
In the living room

(Ian and Anthony sit on their chairs)

Anthony

Hey guys, today we're gonna be doing something completely different.

Ian

Yeah, we wrote each other a Mad Lib style story and we're gonna use your guys' words to fill in the blanks. We have all the words...

Anthony

(takes out a bags)

It's huge-ass, bags of – of words with your guys' suggestions in it.

Let's go pick some words! (throws some bags in the air) Yeah!

Ian and Anthony

SMOSH LIBS!

Ian

Ah s**t, now we're gotta have to clean up.

(the Smosh Libs saying will be said after every section)

Before the Smosh Lib
Ian: Alright so, we're gonna start with a story I wrote for Anthony. Adjective.

Anthony: Lovely.

Ian: Type of movement.

Sometime later

Ian: Lllllllll.

Anthony: Thrusting.

Ian: That's like pretty much what I had in mind.

(Anthony laughs)

Ian: Animal.

Anthony: Tiger!

Ian: Body part.

Anthony: Oh god, body part.

Ian: Yeah.

Anthony: Pinky toe!

(These other words are mentioned sometime later each)

Anthony: Crunchy. Moist.

Ian: Aw yeah!

Anthony: F**k nuggets! RATCHET! Pikachu! Horny.

Ian: Annoying celebrity.

Anthony: Miley Cyrus. We all knew that one was coming.

Ian: Yeah.

Anthony: To be the first person to eat a lollipop in space while riding a horse.

Ian: God damn it, do I have to write that much?!

Anthony: (laughs) Uvula.

Ian: Ew!

Anthony: Penguin. Squish.

Ian: This is your last word.

Anthony: Yes!

Ian: Make it good.

Anthony: (reads the word and laughs at it) Erect.

(Ian and Anthony laugh at the word)

Ian: That's awesome!

Disscussing the Smosh Lib
(Anthony's the narrator)

Ian: Enjoy!

Anthony (in real life): Am I ready for this?

Ian: Probably not?

Anthony (in real life): A very lovely Anthony is thrusting in the living room singing Whisper Song in a deep opera voice.

Anthony (in the story): Wait til you see my d**k,

Lemme beat dat p**** like.

Anthony (in real life): He suddenly trips over a tiger. The panicked animal squeaks:

Tiger: Please help me! My epidermis is stuck in this carpet!

Anthony (in real life): Anthony, being the gay person that he is, grabs hold of his pinky toe and yanks hard. It doesn't budge and Anthony has to keep yanking it over and over. It looks really crunchy.

Anthony (in the story): Wow, this looks really crunchy.

Anthony (in real life): Anthony finally frees the animal awkwardly by using his earlobe.

(Anthony in the story screams while trying to free the tiger)

Anthony (in real life) Once free the animal runs out and says:

tiger: Thank you for saving me, moist man.

(Ian is laughing)

Anthony (in real life): But the celebration is cut short when Anthony accidentally drops a giant chair on it. Killing it instantly.

Anthony (in the story): Oh, f**k nuggets!

Anthony (in real life): Anthony says. Just then a ratchet c...

(Ian and Anthony starts laughing)

Anthony (in real life): Just then a ratchet cop comes by riding on a bandage and beats him down with a lamp. The cop arrests him saying:

cop: You're under arrest for manslaughter; I'm pretty sure I saw you skip on a chair earlier.

In the flashback of the story

Anthony (in the story): I'm committing such a crime.

Back in the present time of the story

Anthony (in real life): The cop dances over to his body like...

cop: Pika-chu!

Anthony (in the story): (makes a rumbling voice) Don't dance on me. (makes more rumbling voices)

Anthony (in real life): Anthony wakes up in a jail cell covered in corn.

(Ian and Anthony laughs)

Anthony (in real life): He looks around and sees his horny cellmate.

(Ian and Anthony laughs hysterically)

Anthony (in real life): His cellmate shakes his eyebrow talking in a Canadian accent says:

Damien: How's it hanging, eh? My name's Damien, eh. I'm in here for drink driving. What aboot you, eh?

Anthony (in real life): (laughs) Anthony lies saying:

Anthony (in the story): I was caught doing indecent exposure with my mom's microwave.

In a fake flashback in the story

Anthony (in the story): (takes off his shirt) How do like this, microwave?!

Back in the present time of the story

Anthony (in real life): Anthony looks over seeing Miley Cyrus get shanked with a poopy phone:

Miley: Ah!

(Ian laughs)

Anthony (in real life): her dying last words being:

Miley: That's just something ugly people say. (dies)

Anthony (in real life): Anthony freaks out.

Anthony (in the story): I can't die in here! I haven't even had a chance to be the first person to eat a lollipop in space while riding a horse!

Anthony (in real life): Anthony tries to bend the bars with his corny uvula, but to no avail.

(Ian starts laughing)

(Anthony in the story spits out corn)

Anthony (in real life): Anthony breaks down crying like a penguin.

(Anthony in the story cries while he waddles and makes penguin noises)

Anthony (in the story): The cop from before comes by and says:

cop: Hey, baby, if you want out, it's gonna cost you.

Anthony (in real life): Anthony says:

Anthony (in the story): I'll do anything. I'm so cute. (makes a cute face)

(Ian and Anthony laugh)

Anthony (in real life): The cop says:

cop: Okay. I'll let you go if you squish my toothbrush. (licks his toothbrush)

Anthony (in real life): Anthony gayly agrees and, does it.

(the cop gives Anthony the toothbrush)

Anthony (in the story): (squishes the toothbrush while grunting to make a squishing noise and then laughs) The f**k does squishing even suppose to...

In the living room

Anthony (in real life): The next day, Anthony was out of prison and back to pogo sticking into a pool while eating a banana.

(Ian giggles)

Anthony (in the story): Man,

Anthony (in real life): Anthony says:

Anthony (in the story): What an erect adventure.

(the story ends)

Anthony (in real life): Wow.

Before the Smosh Lib
Anthony: Alright. So now, Imma get you back and I'm gonna have uh, my blanks filled in: for yours. (starts to laugh)

Ian: Sounds so wrong.

(every word will appear sometime later each)

Anthony: Celebrity. (tries to find the bag) Celebritra.

Ian: (tries to find the bags) Culibidoo. (found a word) Lorde.

Anthony: Animal.

Ian: Sloth.

Anthony: Action word.

Ian: Have you ever read Mad Libs before? Have you ever seen anything say, "Action word". (found a word) Punch. That's what's called a verb.

Anthony: Jump, punch, flip, fight.

Ian: Guess what, those are all verbs.

Anthony: Body part.

Ian: Pancreas. The Grinch. Minnesotan! My freaking thing's so inflated. (starts to laugh) Cockroaches. Farting. Fallopian tube.

Anthony: (laughs) Oh, god! Verb.

Ian: Oh, like an action word? Wanking. Impregnate.

Anthony: (tries to flatten the bag) I, don't think it's in my stuff.

Ian: It's not on the ground.

Anthony: It's somewhere on the ground.

Ian: I don't know what you're talking about. (sits straight up) You can't press it down unless you open it.

(Anthony yells while pressing on the bag)

Ian: Colossal. Bedazzled. Butt plug.

(Anthony laughs)

Ian: Naked. Hornswoggle. Shirtless. Las Vegas is not a state.

(Anthony laughs)

Ian: Scottish yodeling. Bacon Pop Tarts.

Anthony: Last word! (searches in the bags) Random exclamations.

Ian: Pink sprinkled balls!

Anthony: Wow, that was a f**k ton of words! Let's go read it.

Discussing the Smosh Lib
(Ian is the narrator; Note: Anthony in this Smosh Lib is actually Ian)

Ian (in real life): Alright, here we go. Ian is sleeping in his bed, happily painting a nude photo of (starts laughing) Lorde. He wakes up when he hears a sloth noise. He punches the bed and exclaims:

Ian (in the story): That of course is my doorbell!

Ian (in real life): Ian opens the front door with his pancreas. The handle is covered in Kool Aid and stuck. He twerks while he complains:

Ian (in the story): I can't believe this door is stuck.

Ian (in real life): He slaps his taint on it while talking to it.

(Anthony laughs)

Ian (in the story): This trick is called the Ol'Grinch Obama.

Ian (in real life): He finally opens and sees a mailman who has a Minnesotan accent. (laughs)

Anthony (in real life): A bad Minnesotan accent.

Ian (in real life): Oh sorry.

mailman: You have to stare at (gives the package) this package using a cockroach.

(Anthony laughs)

Ian (in real life): My Minnesotan.

(Anthony laughs)

Ian (in real life): Ian grabs the package and annoyingly screams:

Ian (in the story): Fart you!

Ian (in real life): Ian thrusts the door on the mailman's fallopian tube.

mailman: Ah, my fallopian tubes!

Ian (in real life): (flips the page) Don't know how that works. Ian wanks the package with his poop.

(Anthony laughs)

Ian (in real life): He opens it and sees a Wii controller. He senses it's evil and impregnates something.

(Ian in the story impregnates a stuffed Pikachu)

Ian (in real life): What?! (talks for himself in the story) Oh my Aquaman,

Ian (in the story): this Wii controller is haunted and wants to possess my bowl cut!

Ian (in real life): The item liquifies out of the box and attaches itself to his bowl haircut. (In the story, the Wii controller has turned into a glass of water ,Story Ian pours it on his head) He screams like Amanda Bynes.

Ian (in the story): I'M SO IRRELEVANT NOW!

Ian (in real life): Ian is now pouncing a cheese on his head.

Ian (in the story): I can't stop! My colossal bowl cut is making me do this!

Ian (in real life): He bedazzles a coffee mug, and then dances on a condom and finally drips on a butt plug.

(Anthony laughs)

Ian (in real life): He is defeated but then nakedly exclaims:

Ian (in the story): I randomly remember an ancient remedy for getting rid of possessed bowl haircuts! I just have to hornswoggle my hair with a teen girl's underwear two hundred eighty-three times in a row!

Ian (in real life): Ian does this, but it doesn't work. Ian is dejected and shirtless.

(Anthony laughs)

Ian (in real life): He speaks in a Las Vegas accent.

(Anthony laughs)

Ian (in real life): Oh I know. (hears Anthony laughing) Yeah, it would be just like a drunk person.

Anthony (in real life): (laughs while talking) Yeah!

Ian (in the story): Wait. I know how I can fix it and no one will know the difference.

Ian (in real life): Ian repeatedly Scottish yodels on the couch

Ian (in the story): Yo da la heh heh! Yo da la heh heh!

Ian (in real life): Where he has a doo rag on his head.

Ian (in the story): Nobody knows anything about Scottish people (puts the doo rag on him) except Shrek sounds like them!

Ian (in real life): He looks over.

Ian (in the story): Hey Anthony, like my new haircut? (pulls down the doo rag)

Ian (in real life): We see Anthony spanking a bacon Pop Tart.

(Anthony laughs)

Ian (in real life): Anthony looks over at Ian in disgust.

Anthony (in the story): Pleh! (bends his back) PLEHEHEH!

Ian (in real life): Ian screams:

Ian (in the story): PINK SPRINKLED BALLS!

(the story ends)

Ian (in real life): What the f**k happened in this story?

(Anthony laughs)

Ending
(Ian has a doo rag on him)

Anthony: Well, that was interesting.

Ian: And awesome.

Anthony: I feel so-

Ian: And fun.

Anthony: I feel violated. So if you guys liked this style video, leave a like and uh, you know, leave a comment letting us know what else we should do as well. 'Cause yeah, we like doing this-this new stuff. See you guys next week.

Ian: (waves good bye) Bye!

Anthony: Bye.

Ian: Super panty mode engaged! (tightens the doo rag on his head and leaves)

Anthony: This is my life; this is what I have to deal with.