MORTAL KOMBAT (Honest Game Trailers)

Mortal Kombat is the eighth episode of Honest Game Trailers.

Script
From the developers who created one of the best fighting games of all times, then did everything they could to ruin it (Midway), comes the franchise that taught kids all they know about human anatomy, and absolutely nothing about spelling: Mortal Kombat.

Experience all nine of the core captivating combats ''(said words appear on screen with all the C's replaced with K's). Uh, can we get those changed to C's? (the K's are replaced with C's)'' Thanks. There's the bloody arcade sensation that started it all (Mortal Kombat [1992]), including the ESRB rating system, the sequel that was better in every way (Mortal Kombat II [1993]), an avalanche of turds that almost bankrupted the company (Mortal Kombat 4 [1997], Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance [2002], Mortal Kombat: Deception [2004], Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero [1997], and Mortal Kombat: Special Forces [2000] are shown as examples), a franchise saving reboot (Mortal Kombat [2011]), and a game we'll all agree to never speak of again (Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe [2008]).

Test your might in the Mortal Kombat tournament where you'll face off against non-mortals like a centaur (Motaro), a four armed dragon monster (Goro), and a literal god (Raiden). Choose your combatant from a vast selection of not-so-original characters featuring one Bruce Lee ripoff (Liu Kang), three different cops (Jax Briggs, Kurtis Stryker, and Sonya Blade), three identical Asian chicks (Mileena, Kitana, and Jade), four interchangeable cyborgs (Smoke, Sektor, Cryax, and Unit-5), and seven palette-swapped ninja men (Sub-Zero, Scorpion, Reptile, Ermac, Rain, Smoke, and Noob Sailbot).

Critic: Lazy!

Try to follow the series' convoluted story about evil sorcerers trying to conquer the Earth realm which for some reason always comes down to a one-on-one martial arts tournament. It's actually a humane way to settle war if you think about it. Cheese your way to victory in these ultra-violent Street Fighters for dummies, then finish off your opponents with the ultimate humiliation by turning them into a baby, putting them in the friend-zone, or ending there pathetic lives with a fatality. That is if you can just get the damn move right. Ah, come on! What the hell is jump-distance anyway?!

Breakup your epic quest to slaughter your enemies and save all of humanity with cute little mini games like Board Kombat (Chess Kombat), Mortal Pongbat (Pong), and Mario Kartbat (Motor Kombat). Whee!

So prepare for the fighting game sensation that took America by storm: spawning one great nineties movie (Mortal Kombat [1995]), one horrible nineties movie (Mortal Kombat: Annihilation [1997]),

Kitana: You're alive.

''Sheeva: Too bad you... will die.''

and the best nineties dancetrack ever.

Goro: MORTAL KOMBAT!

(music plays) Oh, man, this is like the laser tag national anthem.

Starring Wololololol (Liu Kang repeatedly kicking); the last Mohican (Nightwolf); Butterface (Mileena); Jack Skellington (Scorpion); Miley Cyrus (Reptile); Paul Blart: Mall Cop (Kurtis Stryker); the hot teacher from Billy Madison (Soyna Blade), the one with the boobs; Channing Tatum (Johnny Cage); Oddjob (Kung Lao); Handjob (Goro); Bewbjob (Sheeva); Let it gooo, Let it gooo (Sub-Zero); and Baraka Obama. Mortal Kombat.

You know the first Mortal Kombat was suppose to be a Jean-Claude Van Damme game, then when they backed out, they turned him into Johnny Cage? Man, that'd been cooler than Shaq Fu.