Sleeping Pill Disaster/Script

(Anthony came to the living room and sees Ian)

IAN

Help!

ANTHONY

The hell?

IAN

Very sick. Haven't slept in days. Too weak to go on.

ANTHONY

I think I got just what you need.

(walks out of room then comes back in whistling)

Later on

Anthony

My grandpa gave me these old sleeping pills in his will when he died. He said What'd he say again?

Anthony's grandpa (in spirit): These pills are very dangerous. So don't ever use them, dummy!

Anthony

Uh, he said they work great!

Ian: Cool! (grabs box and pours some into mouth) Sleepy time, here I come!

(Anthony is sat on his bed playing with his tamagotchi)

Anthony: Damn it, stop pooping everywhere!

Ian: (From other room) Oh, yeah! This wood is so hard! Yeah! Big long strokes!

(Anthony puts his ear up against the wall)

Ian: Yeah!

Anthony: (coughing) Uh huh huh huh hu-uh! Hey Ian, can you keep your chicken choking session down in there?!

Ian: Yeah, that's right. Do it like a beaver.

Anthony: Uh-uhhhh! That's it. Grrrr! (picks up baseball bat)

(Anthony walks into the room Ian is in)

In Ian's room

Anthony: If you don't stop - what the hell are you doing?

(Ian is stood with his eyes closed carving wood)

Anthony: Hello-oh? WAKE UP! (slaps Ian but he doesn't wake up) Alright, desperate times call for desperate measures. (grabs a chair and puts it in front of Ian then stands on it and farts in his face)

Ian: (coughing) Uh-huh uh-huh uh-ah! What the hell, man?!

Anthony: Well, sorry. You're making weird stuff in your sleep!

Ian: What is this thing anyway?

Anthony: I don't know, I think it's a bread box.

Ian: W-w-why would bread need a box? That's stupid!

(Anthony picks up sleeping pills and looks at the label)

Anthony: Oh, it says right here, side effects include doing hobbies in your sleep. Yeah, you probably shouldn't take these anymore.

Ian: Yeah, alright. (throws bread box to Anthony) Toss this crap in the garbage!

Anthony: Okay.

(Anthony is outside walking down the driveway with the bread box in his hands)

In the driveway

Anthony: This is the ugliest thing ever!

(Cree Pywood Guy stops walking and stares at Anthony)

Cree: Great golly gooba! Look at this masterpiece! The craftsmanship is exquisite! I've been looking for one all my life! (pulls out wad of cash) Will you take five hundred, American?

Anthony: Er...

Cree: Okay, five thousand!

Anthony: OKAY! (gives bread box to Cree)

Cree: Ohh yeaah. That's some good wood! You can give me more of this stuff, right?

Anthony: (looks at sleeping pills) Er, yeah. I could hook you up, man.

Cree: Excellent.

(Anthony is stood in the kitchen, Ian is sat on the sofa. Anthony pours some sleeping pills into a glass of milk and hands the glass to Ian. Ian drinks it then falls asleep. Now Anthony is stood watching Ian carve some wood)

Anthony: Hahaha, ye-ea-ah! (gave the shoes for profit)

(Anthony threw popcorn at Ian and then sneak some pills in Ian's mouth and he fell asleep. Ian carves more wood with Anthony watching)

Anthony: (sells the eagle) Hahahaha, ye-ea-ah! OOOOOOOO!

(Anthony puts a funnel on Ian's mouth which he put pills in it afterwards)

Ian: What the hell, man?! (falls asleep)

(Anthony laughs while seeing Ian make a native american's head and then gives it Cree)

Anthony: Hahaha hahaha. (sees Cree licking the sculpture making him disturbed)

In Anthony's room

Anthony: Woo, money angels. Wooooo!

(Ian comes to Anthony's room)

Ian: Hey man, this may feel kinda weird, but have you been drugging me?

Anthony: Uh, (gets up) no.

Ian: Okay, so why am I always waking up covered in wood shavings?

Anthony: I don't know, the wood fairy?

Ian: Okay, okay. Well then, how would you explain...

(they both go to Ian's room)

In Ian's room

Ian: (shows his bed made of fresh new wood) ...this?

Anthony: Okay, so maybe I've been drugging you so you would carve wood and things at night so I can sell to some creepy guy for money. (sees Ian nodding his head) You're gonna kill me now?

Ian: Tahahaha, of course not, man. I don't believe in revenge. (laughs, pretends to straggle Anthony, then laughs some more while leaving his room) Oh man.

In the living room

Anthony: (plays with his tamagotchi) So, you're really not mad at me?

Ian: No way, man. (pours pills in the orange juice) In fact, I made you this glass of OJ to help you feel better.

Anthony: Mmmm, you know I always love orange liquid. (drinks the juice)

Ian: Drink up.

Anthony: Ah. Sure is, pulpy. (falls asleep)

Ian: Hehehehehe, what's your hobby gonna be, Anthony? (laughs evilly)

Later that night

(Anthony is a male stripper in his sleep and underwear)

Cree: (throws money) Hahahaha. Yeah, holla holla. Hahaha.

Anthony: Yeah, you know I love it when I wipe that pole.

Cree: Yeees! Oh, it's made of good, solid, hard wood.

Ian: Hehehehehe. Yeah, keep dancing, Anthony; you're making me rich. Hahahaha. (gets hit by Anthony's underwear) AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Deleted Scene
(After Ian leaves his room)

Anthony: I s**t myself. Well I can just buy some new pants at least.