BADASS NEW POWER RANGERS!/Script

 *The official script of Badass New Power Rangers!*

Script
RITA REPULSA

After 10,000 years, I'm free! It's time to conquer Earth!

GIRLFRIEND

You totally ruined my date, you snitch!


 * RITA'S SPARKS KILL HER

NEWS REPORTER

This just in: an evil alien by the name of Rita is destroying the city, and grouting everyone's death.

ANTHONY

Whoa. Cool!

Anthony's Dad

Anthony, do you think you can take out the trash?

Anthony

No way Dad, we're watching the news!

Anthony's Dad

Oh, sorry for bothering you.


 * Really bad impersonation*

My bad, dawg.

<p style="text-align:center;">News Reporter

<p style="text-align:center;">People are dying, and it really sucks balls.

<p style="text-align:center;">*Rita's Sparks Kill Her*

<p style="text-align:center;">ALPHA 5

<p style="text-align:center;">Ayayayayay, the city is being destroyed!

<p style="text-align:center;">ZORDON

<p style="text-align:center;">Alpha, we need a recruitment group of teens with attitude, that defend the Earth.

<p style="text-align:center;">Alpha 5: How about these kids?

Zordon: They look like f**king losers! Whatever, just bring them in.

Anthony's Dad: Who wants a pizza roll?

Anthony and Ian: ME, ME, ME, ME, ME! *However, All Three Are Warped*

Ian: Zordon?!

Anthony: Alpha?!

Anthony's Dad: My pizza rolls!

Zordon: Sorry, I teleported those to my mouth. Alpha, the f*ck is this old guy?

Anthony's Dad: Hey, I'm young and cool! I-I listen to One Direction, and I like "School-ex".

Anthony: Dad, c'mon!

Zordon: SKRILLEX, you f*King idiot! Anyway, you three will just have to do.

Ian: Wait, you're gonna make us into Power Rangers?

Zordon: Power Rangers don't exist you freaking moron. I'm gonna make you Power Animal Rangers!

All three: What!?

Anthony: Sounds lame.

Anthony's Dad: Sounds neat! What do we do first?

Zordon: First, you must meditate hard and find your Power Animal. Once you find your power animal, you will inherit its abilities, and be able to use its power in battle.

Anthony: Whoa!

Ian: Whoa!

Anthony's Dad: Cool! My Power Animal is a rat thing.

Zordon: It's a chihuahua you freaking idiot.

Anthony's Dad: Whoa, gnarly shirts!

Anthony: What the hell are we supposed to do with these powers?

Zordon: How am I supposed to know? I'm just some floating head. Now get out there and fight!

Alpha 5: Do you think they'll defeat Rita?

Zordon: Nah, we're totally f*cked.

Rita Repulsa: Ha ha ha ha, hi ya!

Anthony (Cat Ranger): Surrender now Rita, or prepare to be annihilated!

Rita Repulsa: Ha ha ha, it just so happens that I have Power Animal Rangers of my own!

Ernesto S. Bustos (Cow Ranger): I'm a cow, and I can MOO!

Rabbit Ranger: I'm a rabbit, and I possess the Extreme Humping Attack! *starts humping*

Cock Ranger: I'm a cock and I can f*ck your mom!

Ernesto S. Bustos (Cow Ranger): Wrong kind of cock, dude!

Anthony (Cat Ranger): Alright guys, let's put our powers to use! Kitty Scratching Ability, Meow!

Ian (Pig Ranger): Pig Eating Attack, Oink!

Anthony's Dad (Chihuahua Ranger): Chihuahua Ankle Biting Attack, Woof!

(All Power Animal Rangers started attacking each other when an old man comes by)

Old Man: Freaking bath salts.

Rita Repulsa: How can you defeat me, if I'm 50 stories tall?! Haaa ha ha ha ha ha!

Zordon: Quick Rangers, call on your Megazord to fight her.

Ian: We have a Megazord?!

Anthony: Yeah, why didn't we just use that in the first place and crush everyone?!

Zordon: Because then the show would be over in 2 minutes. Just call your damn Megazord.

All three: Right!

(animal megazords attached themselves to the Megazord)

Ian: Alright guys, let's do this!

(Ian realized the pig was attached to the Megazord's dick)

Anthony: Wait, your pig is supposed to be attached to the Megazord's head, idiot!

Anthony's Dad: Oh god, get it off!

Rita Repulsa: Ha ha ha, you idiots don't even know how to use your Megazord!

Anthony: Get your stupid pig, off our robot's d*ck!

Ian: I'm trying! Just keep swinging guys!

Rita Repulsa: What do you think you're doing? You can't defeat me! *Gets Killed By Ian's D-ck Pig*

Anthony: Yes, we killed Rita!

Ian: Thanks to my d*ck slapping ability!

Anthony's Dad: We sure popped a cap in her ass! Right, boys? *Still a bad Pronunciation*

Zordon: Congratulations on saving the city, Power Animal Rangers!

Ian: Thanks for believing in us, Zordon!

Zordon: Oh, I never did.

Alpha 5: I did! I always believed in you, Anthony.

Anthony: Belch, what the hell, man. I'm not into robots!

Alpha 5: I'm not a robot! I'm a midget!

Anthony: Well I'm into that!

All five: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Deleted Scene
(when Ian, Anthony, and his dad meditate)

Zordon: (talks to Anthony's dad) What the f**k are you doing? I said meditate, not do some gay-ass yoga.

Anthony's dad: Oh, sorry Zorro.

Zordon: It's Zordon, bitch.