Crybaby/Script

(incomplete)

'''Anthony sits on his couch, a baby is sitting next to him. A knock comes from the door.'''

Anthony: Oh, hey. What's up?

Ian: You wanna hang out today?

Anthony: Uh, I would, but I've gotta take care of this STUPID baby for Mr. Pondo's class.

Ian: No you don't

Anthony: Jesus Christ Ian! I need to pass this assignment or I'll fail the class!

Ian: It's a fake baby! What's it gonna do, tell the teacher I just spiked it into the ground?

Anthony: Uh, yeah, this thing has sensors in it to tell when it's being neglected!

Ian: Well, sooooorry.

'''Ian and Anthony sit on the couch, Anthony rocks the baby. '''

Ian: Is that thing gonna stop crying?

Anthony: Well it's supposed to stop when you comfort it. That's what I'm doing.

Ian: Well, can't you just like take the batteries out or something?

Anthony: There's no batteries-

Ian: Just turn it off, there's no switch?

Anthony: I have to comfort it.

Ian: Can you just tell it to shut up? Shut up baby! Shut up!

Anthony: Stop

Ian: I'm out of here man, this is annoying

'''Text appears that reads 'the next morning'. Anthony sits against the door holding the baby, disheveled. '''

Anthony: You stopped crying? You stopped crying!

'''A knock comes on the door. He opens it to reveal Ian behind it.'''

Ian: Hey, the psychotic robo-baby stopped crying. You wanna hang out?

Anthony: No can do! Samuel and I are gonna go to Chuck E Cheese! We're gonna go play in the ball pit, aren't we? Yes we are.

Ian: Wait, wait, hold on, you gave that thing a name?