Biatch

"You have defeated me, but you are a cheater, and you have gay hair."

- Biatch to Anthony

Biatch is a robot slave, whom Ian ordered after seeing a commercial about it. She is portrayed by April Potter, and only appears in HOT ROBOT SLAVE.

History
"Biatch" is the nickname given to one robot in a line of robotic slaves intended for personal use by consumers. The robot slaves work by being issued a command phrase (such as "biatch" or "dingleberry"), and they will perform whatever task their owner orders them to do to the best of their ability. Biatch in particular originally functioned as intended, but seemed to develop in her AI after Ian convinces Anthony to forget about his romantic obsession with her.

HOT ROBOT SLAVE
After seeing a commercial on television for a personal robot slave, Ian ordered one for himself and Anthony. When it arrived, they opened the box and were stunned to see how lifelike it is (Anthony even whispers to Ian that she is "kind of hot"). The robot asks for a command phrase, which Ian gives as "Biatch!". Anthony doubts the usefulness of the given phrase, but Ian commands the robot to "clean up the house, biatch!", to which the robot steps out of the box and proceeds to pick up trash on the floor. Ian's point proven, he and Anthony treat Biatch the way her construction was intended; she is ordered to wash Ian's car, make Ian food, give Anthony a haircut, and Ian even orders her to change his diaper, but nervously belays that order after he sees a disturbed Anthony watching him. After Ian leaves to record for his online series 8 Equals Dee, Anthony tries to flirt with Biatch and orders her to make the two of them a romantic dinner.

As Anthony and Biatch sit at their romantic dinner, Anthony tries to flirt with her more, but to no avail as nothing he says computes with the robot. Anthony orders her to "put the food to [her] mouth", to which Biatch simply faceplants into her food. At that moment, a confused Ian walks in and asks what is going on, but screams and runs away after Biatch turns to face him, her face covered in mashed potatoes. Ian runs for his bedroom, where he records another episode of 8=D; in it, he promises his online audience that he has a plan to get rid of the robot and teach Anthony a lesson. He tries a variety of methods to eliminate Biatch. First, he tries chloroform, which fails because Biatch does not need to breathe. Next, he tries to karate chop the robot, but only slams his hands into her metal frame. Finally, he tries to push her into the closet, but she proves too heavy and an annoyed Ian simply orders her to go into the closet. Biatch complies and closes the door.

With Biatch out of sight, Ian disguises himself as her and tries to convince Anthony that she can no longer be with him. The ruse fails, however, when a distraught Anthony orders "Biatch" to give him one last kiss. Ian convinces Anthony that he cannot chase after an artificial robot when there are plenty of girls in the real world. Just then, Biatch steps out of the closet and declares that if she cannot have Anthony, no one can, and she and Anthony duel in Street Fighter II: The World Warrior as themselves. Biatch seems to win at first, but loses after Anthony spams the "crouch and kick" move. Biatch accepts her defeat but insults Anthony by calling him a cheater and his hair "gay". After that, she simply walks away and is never heard from again.

Personality
As with other robots in her line, Biatch acted according to her programming and was prepared to perform whatever task Ian and Anthony ordered her to complete. However, as she did not seem to feel any emotion, she simply responded with "Does not compute" to anything said to her that is not an order, including Anthony's romantic advances on her. However, after Ian convinced Anthony to focus on real girls instead, Biatch's entire personality changed as she disobeyed Ian's order to stay in the closet by stepping out and declaring that, if she cannot have Anthony, no one can, and seemed prepared to fight her own masters.

Appearance
Biatch is an attractive feminine robot with dark brown hair, green eyes, and makeup. She wears a short, black dress, high black boots, and a golden necklace around her neck and two gold bracelets on her wrists.