Most Violent Game Ever!?/Script

therapist (LISP): Okay, 'tho' your mother brought you in this therapy 'thession' because you (looked at his flip notes) violently murdered an animal.

Ian: I swatted a fly that was pooping on my sandwich.

therapist: Look, I didn't want to make this a big dealio, but that's pretty much the same thing as violently murdering a unicorn.

Ian: Right.

game narrator: Smoshtastic!

therapist: So uh, what are you doing over there?

Ian: Oh I'm just playing Super Head Esploder-X. It's this game where you get to explode other people's heads. Right now I'm actually exploding my mom's head for setting me up with this stupid therapy session.

therapist: That's it! (takes the iPad)

Ian: What the frick?!

therapist: You see, I didn't want to make this a big dealio or anything, but violence in video games is pretty much the only reason for violence in our 'thociety'.

Ian: So there was no violence before video games?

therapist: Nope!

Ian: Okay smarty-pants, what about the American Civil War?

therapist: The Amer You just made that one up!

Ian: What? (Gets up and takes his iPad back) I'm playing this game and you can't stop me. (Leaves the therapy session, closes the door, and then reopens it) Bitch! (closes the door again)

therapist: Okay, didn't wanna make this a big dealio or anything, but it looks like that video game is gonna make him super violent. I only have one option, (pulls out an axe) I must kill him before he becomes violent! (laughs evilly) <p style="text-align:center;">

<p style="text-align:center;">At the DMV

<p style="text-align:center;">(the DMV lady gave registration to another lady)

<p style="text-align:center;">DMV lady: Thank you sweet cheeks; don't crash until Wednesday. Next!

<p style="text-align:center;">(A guy cut through Ian in the line)

<p style="text-align:center;">Ian: Hey! No butts! Hey. Hey DMV lady! Yeah, this man's a dirty-stinking line butter!

<p style="text-align:center;">DMV lady: No one likes a tattle-tale.

<p style="text-align:center;">Guy: You gonna do something about it, chode-nugget?

<p style="text-align:center;">Ian: Um, no I'm just gonna take a couple of pictures. (took a couple of pictures of the guy's head and put his pictures in the game to explode them)

<p style="text-align:center;">Guy: What, what are you doing? (sees what Ian is playing) Hey DMV lady, he's exploding my head and neck and it hurts my feelings!

<p style="text-align:center;">Therapist: (writing in his notepads) 'Thubject' is still playing the game and has hurt someone's feelings. It's only a matter of time before he hurts something more than feelings. This is a really big freakin dealio! I must study him further and then (picks up his axe) strike when the time is right. (laughs evilly and leaves the DMV with a funny walk) <p style="text-align:center;">

<p style="text-align:center;">At the house

<p style="text-align:center;">news reporter: Kim Kardashian and Kayne West have decided to name their baby #Kimye. (Keeps talking)

<p style="text-align:center;">Ian: Oh, what the frick? (Ian took a picture of Kim and Kayne and put their faces in Super Head Esploder-X to explode them)

<p style="text-align:center;">game narrator: Epic!

<p style="text-align:center;">Ian: Hahaha, I'm exploding all your heads! Hahaha.

<p style="text-align:center;">therapist: (writing in his notepad) Now this is a really big freakin dealio! 'Thubject' has now began exploding the heads of celebrities. Kim Kardashin and her bud are freakin national treasures goth dang it. Now I know I must kill him!

<p style="text-align:center;">Ian: (heard the therapist) You're gonna kill me?

<p style="text-align:center;">therapist: Um? (writes in his notepad) Note to 'selth', don't say what I'm writing out loud.

<p style="text-align:center;">Ian: Wait, if you're gonna kill me to prevent me from becoming violent, wouldn't that make you violent?

<p style="text-align:center;">therapist: LOOK, THAT DOESN'T COUNT! JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN GAME, OR I'LL KILL YOU!

<p style="text-align:center;">Ian: Fine bro. Geez, (tries to talk like the therapist) It's not a big dealio.

<p style="text-align:center;">therapist: IT'S A HUGE, FREAKIN DEALIO! (Takes the iPad, throws it on the ground, and kills it showing blood on the iPad) DIE! YES, iPAD BLOOD! OH, SO BLOODY! (laughs and then stops chopping) There, now you won't be... (sees Ian playing the game in his iPhone)

<p style="text-align:center;">Ian: Haha, eat it heads! Ehhahaha. Hahaha.

<p style="text-align:center;">therapist: Give it to me now!

<p style="text-align:center;">Ian: (pauses the game) Oh come on man, I just use the game to get out my anger and frustrations. Maybe you should try it.

<p style="text-align:center;">Therapist: (takes the phone) Give me that stupid, violent game. (plays the game)

<p style="text-align:center;">Game narrator: Smoshtastic!

<p style="text-align:center;">therapist: This is ahThis is pretty neato!

<p style="text-align:center;">Ian: See, isn't the game fun?!

<p style="text-align:center;">therapist: Yep, (turns evil) but I'm still gonna kill you!

<p style="text-align:center;">Ian: No!

<p style="text-align:center;">therapist: Yep!

<p style="text-align:center;">Ian: No! Please, no!

<p style="text-align:center;">(The therapist laughs evilly as he kills Ian with axe)

<p style="text-align:center;">therapist: HUMAN BLOOD!

<p style="text-align:center;">(the therapist also gives a thumbs up with a creepy look on his face)

<p style="text-align:center;">narrator (real): Smosh's Super Head Esploder-X. It's no big dealio, but if you don't download it, you too will become an axe murderer. Probably.

Deleted Scene
(at the therapy session)

Therapist: Look, I have this book which shows 'irrethutable' proof about why kids are so violent today. (opens the book to reveal the words 'video games' in his handwriting as proof) See, 'irrethutable' proof.

Ian: That doesn't prove anything, you just wrote "video games" on there.