The Corn Dog Conspiracy/Script

Beginning

(Anthony is in the living room, about to eat a corn dog)

Anthony: (saying a prayer before eating) Thank you for this corn dog. Amen!

(The corn dog starts to talk, much to Anthony's surprise)

Corn Dog: So I heard burrito's gonna be the next food for Food Battle.

Anthony: (shocked) You can talk?

Corn Dog: Of course, I can!

Anthony: Well, what do you want?

Corn Dog: (pissed off) I wanna know why I'm not the next food for Food Battle 2009!

Anthony: Look, you just weren't the popular vote, I mean there's nothing I could-

Corn Dog: (angry) SCREW THE POPULAR VOTE! You and I both know that corn dogs are superior to those flimsy lame burritos!

Anthony: (trying to make it feel better) If it means anything to you, I voted for you.

Corn Dog: Well how many times did you vote for me, huh?

Anthony: (reassuringly) Like, I must have voted for you, like at least 20,000 times.

Corn Dog: (annoyed) And I STILL lost?! OH, MY GOD! And what pisses me off the most is that the burrito is just like the freakin' taquito in Food Battle 2006!

Anthony: I don't see any connection.

Corn Dog: They're both Mexican, IDIOT!

Anthony: Oh.

Corn Dog: Screw this! (deviously) Heh. I'm gonna wrap myself in a tortilla and pass myself off as a burrito. (this stuns Anthony) Heh-heh, yeah. That way, I'll get into Food Battle this year.

Anthony: (worried) But, you can't do that. That-that's against the rules.

Corn Dog: Well, if I can't make it into Food Battle, then... I guess there's no point in living.

Anthony: (pleadingly) No, corn dog. Please don't do it, please...

Corn Dog: Goodbye, cruel world. I-I'm just gonna drown myself in this ketchup right here.

Anthony: '''NO, CORN DOG, PLEASE! I LOVE YOU!'''

(Ian walks in)

Ian: Anthony, I was just wondering if you - whoa!

(Anthony looks at Ian, and they proceed to panic for a few moments, just like in Smosh Short 1: Dolls)

Ian: Well, I-I was just wondering if you...

Corn Dog: (fed up) SHUT THE F*CK UP!

(Corn Dog stabs Ian in the stomach, who screams in pain)

End