Taylor Swift

"Let's see, there's Jake, Joe, Zac, Billy, Vince, Taylor, John, Harry, Larry, Carrie, Bear-y, Jerry..."

- Taylor listing some of past boyfriends.

Taylor Swift is a Smosh character based on the singer-songwriter of the same name. She has been portrayed by Anthony Padilla and Courtney Miller.

Background
Taylor Alison Swift (b. December 13, 1989) is an American singer-songwriter and one of the world's leading contemporary recording artists known for narrative songs about her personal life. At age 14, she moved to Nashville, Tennessee to pursue a career in country music, signing with the label Big Machine Records and became the youngest artist ever signed by Sony/ATV Music Publishing. Her 2006 self-titled debut album, Taylor Swift, peaked at number five on the Billboard 200 and spent the most weeks on the chart in the 2000s. Taylor is one of the best-selling music artists of all time, having sold more than 40 million albums and 130 million single downloads worldwide.

TAYLOR SWIFT DUMPED ME
Taylor has recently released a new album about her most recent breakup titled "Anthony, I hate, hate, hate you, you suck, you dirty sack of shit go die in a fire!". A preview is shown on a news station. Anthony, not wanting to have his past relationship with Taylor revealed to Ian, tries to change the channel but only comes across more versions of Taylor's most famous songs meant to showcase Anthony's flaws, including being emotional over the death of his goldfish, wetting his pants while watching Paranormal Activity 5, and dancing to her songs while in her clothes (and a tattoo of her face on his buttocks, which Ian happens to catch a glimpse of before Anthony hurriedly conceals it).

The channel is changed to an episode of Cooking Time with Fanny McGee. Anthony is initially relieved but is horrified to see Taylor as a guest. When asked for her opinion on what Fanny has cooked, Taylor mentions that it reminds her of Anthony's "crappy wannabe six-pack". Taylor then pulls a mini-guitar from under her skirt and plays a song about the trait. Anthony tries changing the channel to escape Taylor's music about him (while flipping channels, Anthony learns that Taylor gave him Hepatitis C, which she received from Harry Styles). At this point, Ian points out how strange it is that the traits of this "Anthony" strongly remind him of the real Anthony, who denies it, claiming that if he ever actually dated Taylor Swift, she would be "on her knees, begging [him] to never leave her". As if prompted on television, Taylor continues her currently-playing song with a secret clip of their break-up, featuring a sobbing Anthony on his knees, begging her to never leave him. This prompts Anthony to admit his fling to Ian, who scoffs and brags that he would never do such a thing because of his "standards", but Taylor ends her song by revealing that she cheated on Anthony with his "amazing best friend" Ian.

An incredulous Anthony turns to confront Ian but stops when he notices Ian making out with Taylor herself. Taylor seems to apologize (still in song) and states that she is with Ian now. Ironically, two hours later, it is shown that Taylor ended her relationship with Ian and has already released a new album, titled "Ian is the worst boyfriend ever and his butt cheeks aren't even that firm after all; they're kind of like a loose lump of lard". While Ian is crying, a haunted Anthony wonders aloud if he really received Hepatitis C, which Taylor pops from the kitchen with an enthusiastic "Yep!"

In the outro screen, it is shown that Taylor's past boyfriends include Jake Gyllenhaal, Joe Jonas, Zac Efron, Billy Ray Cyrus, Vince Vaughn, Taylor Lautner, John Mayer, Harry Styles, Larry the Cable Guy, Carrie (from Carrie), "Barry/Beary" (a bear), and Jerry Seinfeld.