REAL VOODOO DOLL!/Script



INT- The scene opens with Ian trying trying to tie his pink tie but from afar, Anthony is heard)

Anthony

Ahh! Stupid! AHAH!

(Ian checks on Anthony. In the living room, Anthony plays in world 4-1 of Super Mario Bros. and hits the Spiny Egg in standard form)


 * Anthony


 * AHHHHH!

Ian

Can you shut the hell up? I'm trying to get ready for my job interview.

Anthony

This stupid turtle on a cloud keeps killing me! It's not even possible to sit on a cloud! (as Mario gets hit by a Spiny Egg) God, this game's stupid!

Ian

Come on man. It's not that hard.

(Anthony gets a game over after dying three times from Spinies)

Ian

Wow, you do suck at this game.

Anthony

GOD!

(leaves the room)

Ian

Come on man, it was just a joke!

(sits down on the couch)

Geez!

(plays Super Mario Bros.)

[outside of the house]

Ian

<p style="text-align:center;">(in Anthony's thoughts)

<p style="text-align:center;">You can't even get pass the turtle on a cloud? Ha! You suck at everything!

<p style="text-align:center;">Anthony

<p style="text-align:center;">Shut up, Ian!

(his thinking cloud disappears)

<p style="text-align:center;">I swear on my eternal love for Princess Peach, I'll make you pay for what you've done!

(A voodoo doll of Ian falls from the sky next to Anthony)

Anthony: Woah! (picks up the doll and notices the resemblance) Ian? (pulls the doll's right shoulder up to its head)

[inside the house]

Ian: (punches himself) BALLS! (accidentally kills Mario)

[outside the house]

(Anthony keeps pulling the doll's right shoulder up to its head)

[inside the house]

Ian: (keeps punching himself) BALLS! BALLS! BALLS!

(Anthony still keeps pulling the doll's right shoulder up to its head)

Ian: (still keeps punching himself) BALLS! BALLS! BALLS!

(Anthony shrugs and then goes back inside to check on Ian. When coming in, he sees Ian pained)

Anthony: You okay man?

Ian: Yeah, I just had some kind of weird muscle spasm and punch myself in the head a bunch of times. (Anthony gets wide-eyed and jaw-dropped by getting the idea of what's happened) Anyway, (gets up) I gotta go to my job interview.

(Behind him, Anthony punches the doll)

Ian: (gets back down) BALLS!

Anthony: "Balls"?

Ian: Nothing, I just scream "balls" whenever I feel pain.

Anthony: Good to know. Good luck with your interview. (gives a small laugh)

[At the interview]

(The employer checks Ian's papers)

Employer: Ian. I've gotta say, out of all the people I interviewed for this job, there's something about you I really like! Why don't you tell me a little bit why you like to be a substitute teacher?

Ian: Well, I really really love-

(Anthony hits the voodoo doll at home with a hammer)

Ian: BALLS! (Looks around the room)

(Anthony laughs evilly)

Ian: Sorry, wha-what I really meant to say is that I really, really, love working with kids-

(Anthony hits the voodoo doll at home with a screwdriver)

Ian: BALLS!

Employer: Excuse me?

(Anthony laughs evilly)

Ian: Ah, no nothing. I-I think I just have something wrong with my

(Anthony stabs the voodoo doll at home with a pair of scissors)

Ian: BAAAAAALLSS!

Employer: You know, maybe we can take this up a different time. Why won't you-plan on coming back?

Ian: BALLS! Oh, oh BALLS! (stands up and shakes around like what Anthony does to the voodoo doll)

Anthony: Ohohohohoh.

Ian: Woaoaoaoah! BALLS!

Anthony: (stabs the voodoo doll with tweezers) Hahahaha!

Ian: BALLS! BALLS! (knocks over the principal's books) Ohohohohoh!

Anthony: (slides the voodoo doll over on its back) Hahaha, hahaha!

Ian: (slides on the principal's desk on his back) Oh my God, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! Oh balls, oh crap!

[back in the house]

Anthony: (feels bored) This is boring! (throws the voodoo doll down to the table and goes outside to talk to the sky) Hey, do you think I could get a voodoo doll of myself?

(the voodoo doll of Anthony is dropped to Anthony)

Anthony: (picks up the doll and nods) Sweeeeeet!

[later on, Ian comes back]

Ian: Dude, I got the job! (takes his tie off) He said he really loved my energy.

Anthony: (caresses the voodoo doll of himself in his room and talks softly) Ooh, yeah you know I'm looking good. Oh.

Ian: (enters the room) Hey Anthony, I just wanted if you (gasps at Anthony and the doll) Why are you playing with that little kid's doll?!

Anthony: It's not a little kid's doll; (puts down his doll as he grabs Ian's voodoo doll to cover its eyes with his fingers) it's a voodoo doll!

Ian: (his eyes are closed) Oh, my god! Anthony, I can't see! ---Wait, did you say something about a voodoo doll?

Anthony: (shortly pauses but then moves his fingers away from the doll's eyes) Yeah.

Ian: (eyes are open) Then, that means. . . (gets disgusted) ah, dude! Were you fondling yourself through your own voodoo doll?

Anthony: I was just curious; it feels like someone else is doing it you know, (shrugs) like that one time you said you sat on your hand for a really long time and then you t---

Ian: (cuts off and raises hands) Okay! Y-Y-You know we don't need to talk about that right now.

(they both didn't talk for a few seconds)

Anthony: So, (looks left to right) is it gay if I fondle myself through my own voodoo doll?

Ian: Yeah. (Anthony looks disappointed) So uh, these things actually work? (touches the voodoo doll of himself's eye while also poking his own eye) BALLS! ---Wait. (He pauses but then grabs Anthony's voodoo doll and punches its face)

Anthony: Ow! (puts his hand on his face while in pain) God dude, what was that for?!

Ian: (points at Anthony) You were trying to sabotage my job interview!

(Anthony grabs and punches Ian's voodoo doll)

Ian: (punches himself) BALLS! (punches Anthony's voodoo doll's head)

Anthony: (punches his head) BALL! (puts his hands around Ian's voodoo doll's neck)

Ian: (suffocates himself) BAAALLLS! (uppercuts Anthony's voodoo doll)

Anthony: (bends backwards) BALL! (bends Ian's voodoo doll's right shoulder behind it)

Ian: (moves his right shoulder behind him) BALLS!

Anthony: (does a painful pose) BALL!

Ian: (shakes himself) BALLS! (chops Anthony's voodoo doll's neck)

Anthony: (chops Ian's voodoo doll in between the legs) BALL!

Ian: (jumps rapidly) BALLS! BALLS! BALLS! BALLS! (moves the right limb of Anthony's voodoo doll)

Anthony: (bends down) BALLS! (tickles Ian's voodoo doll)

Ian: BALLS! (bites on Anthony's voodoo doll)

(Anthony punches Ian's voodoo doll)

Ian: (feels the pain) BALLS! (pinches Anthony's voodoo doll's right arm)

Anthony: Ah! (grabs a knife)

(Ian grabs a gun)

(They both aim the weapons near the other's doll)

Ian: I don't wanna have to kill you!

Anthony: Me neither.

Ian and Anthony: (both whimper but then relaxes and put their weapons down) Gahh!

Ian: (shakes head) We should just get rid of these things.

Anthony: (looks at Ian with an "idea face") What if we tried trading these with a voodoo doll of someone else?

Ian: Okay, who the hell gave you these?

[back outside]

Anthony: (points at the sky) Him. (Ian stares jaw-dropped as they're both looking at a Latiku from the Super Mario Bros. game)

Ian: Woaoaoaoah! Hey, turtle-cloud guy, can I trade this for a voodoo doll of Ke$ha? Oh, come on, please? Give me one! Please, please!

(the Latiku throws a Spiny Egg at Ian)

Ian: WAHAHAHAHAHAH! BBAALLLSSSS! (dies)

Title card: GAME OVER

[end of the video]