ASSASSIN'S CREED 4 (Honest Game Trailers)

Assassin's Creed 4 is the fourth Honest Game Trailer.

Script
From Ōōbisoft, (scratch noises and rewind) Yōōbisoft. (scratch noises, rewind, and pauses) Is it Ōōbi or Yōōbi? I never remember. (the scene plays) From those guys, comes the game about sneaky assassins, that's still not set in Feudal Japan for some reason, Assassin's Creed: Black Flag.

After the huge letdown of AC3, prepare to redeem the franchise, with the Pirates of the Caribbean game that Disney never made.

Enter the life of Edward Kenway, a man who can pull off aerial take downs, parkour roof jumping, and ridiculous hidden blade skills, despite having absolutely zero training as an assassin.

Mary: He has the sense, mentor.

Oh, yeah, that explains it!

Play as a hero, who isn't searching for justice or vengeance, but is searching for an excuse to get wasted, tipsy, sloshed and slammered. GROG!

Cross paths with historical figures like Blackbeard, Bonny, this guy (Charles Vane) and a bunch of other pirates you've never heard of, but probably existed, or maybe they didn't. I don't know, it's not like anyone ever fact checks these games.

Take a break from the intense pirate action, to wonder around the offices of Abstergo, a video game company with secret plans for world domination, making them the second most evil game company in the world. (Picture of the EA games offices) Help them build a new video game, not by coding but by digging around with the Animus, a highly advanced VR device, that will probably get bought out and ruined by Facebook. (Booh-ba!) Ooh! Friend request!

Experience the return of classic Assassin's Creed features like, overpowered smoke bombs, being invincible as long as you tap the counter button, never changing out of your iconic assassin uniform even when you're sneaking into Templar territory, and Purgatory Simulator 2013! (wind noises as Edward runs)

Then, prepare for brand new features like, the coolest boat since Wind Waker, obligatory underwater level, sea shanties (the pirate crew shants), and fulfilling your secret desires to put countless ocean creatures on the endangered species list. Oh, s**t, did I just murder Shamu?

Starring, Skinny Chris Hemsworth (Edward Kenway), Samuel Arrr Jackson (Adéwalé), Gay Zorro (Julien du Casse), The pirate formerly known as Prince (Mary Read), Tits McGee (Anne Bonny), the cast of Cirque Du So Gay (Multiplayer characters), and Harley from Epic Meal Time (Edward Thatch/Blackbeard). Ass Assin's Creed 4. I'm on a boat.

Surely, this small amount of hay will cushion the impact... (bones snap) OH MY GOD, MY BONES!!