BATMAN: ARKHAM KNIGHT (Honest Game Trailers)

Batman: Arkham Knight is the 54th Honest Game Trailer.

Transcript
The following trailer is rated S for spoilers, but mild ones, like... nothing you wouldn't learn the first couple of hours.

From Bebop and ***** comes the only reason for the PC Master Race to descend from their ivory towers and mingle amongst the console commonfolk in the best Batman game of all time, that is by far the least Batty, Batman-y, Batman-like. Arkham Knight!

Scarecrow and the mysterious Arkham Knight have taken over Gotham, causing all the graphics card taxing citizens to evacuate. Now, you'll don the bat hat once again, to protect the city you love - even though it's a god-forsaken, all-dude crime orgy that should really be sunk into the ocean at this point. Honestly, look at this place. Why the f*ck do people still live here?

The Arkham games have only been getting better, (shows Arkham Origins logo) except that time they got worse. But now, the series is great again as the same old formula is polished to perfection, in a trilogy finale (yes, I said trilogy), that's one part Batman game, one part Grand Theft Arkham tank simulator. Wheeeee! I'm a detective!

Meet the upgraded RoboCop version of the Dark Knight - who still isn't bulletproof (Arkham Knight shoots Batman), but after fighting his way through 3 of these games, don't take no sh*t from nobody. (Batmobile runs over soldier)

Soldier: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAHHHHH!

He's a superhero with the most unfair advantage of all - money, as you unleash a billion dollar arsenal of planes, tanks, impossible time-traveling hologram memory scanners, ventriliquism...

Harley Quinn: Looks like I'm running out of IDIOTS!

...sidekicks you barely use (Batman throws Robin into the cell), and highly paid man servants, proving to children everywhere that if you want to become Batman, you'll need some very rich, very dead parents first.

The criminals of Gotham are on the loose, and they love nothing more than to talk sh*t on the radio.

Thug: He's too chicken to face me!

Make them say that to your face, as you track down some of the most notorious villains, like: The Riddler, whose underground racetracks really stretch the definition of the word "riddle"...

Riddler: If you can't understand the intellectual virtues of completing this trial, Batman, I'm not going to explain them to you!

...Two-Face, whose master plan is to... rob some banks? C'mon, Harvey! Step it up! Scarecrow, who scares things - again, an imaginary friend you can't punch no matter how hard you try (shows dozens of Jokers laughing), and the Arkham Knight, a young-sounding man in a red suit, who clearly has a long past with Bruce Wayne. And if you can't guess who that is before the game tells you - welcome to your first Batman story!

They said Batman could become anything, so he became a tank. Get behind the wheel of a roided-out Batmobile, and protect the city you love, by tanking the sh*t out of it, and settle in as this one extra feature becomes a chore, with countless forced missions of tank-on-tank combat, hide and go tank, tank and go seek, and solving puzzles so you and your tank can be together again, in a game so tanky, you don't even have to be in your tank to tank, and in conclusion: tank!

So play through a game that lets you truly feel what it's like to be Batman, as you take down thugs with extreme non-lethal prejudice, utilize every crazy gadget at your disposal, and fly gracefully through the sky from rooftop to roofto- (Man-Bat jumpscares Batman) AAH! The f*ck was that? Why would they put jumpscares in this- (Joker jumpscares Batman) AAAAH! Stop scaring me! I don't wanna be the Batman!

Starring: The 1% Man (Batman), Can't Get You Out of my Head (The Joker), R.I.P. Gordon's Mustache (Jim Gordon), Red Robin, Yummmm (Robin), **************** (Arkham Knight), Bat, Man (Man-Bat), Assazrael's Creed (Azrael), Twisted Metal (Riddler's Race Tracks), and Santa Claus (Batwing).

Arkham: World of Tanks!

Yep, that's it for the Batman games. Now, its time to get the people what they really want - an Ecco the Dolphin/Aquaman crossover, am I right? You wanna see that sh*t?