SAINTS ROW SHENANIGANS (Backseat Gaming)

"He died doing what he loved... beating a man to death with a dildo."

- Lasercorn

SAINTS ROW SHENANIGANS is the 12th episode of Backseat Gaming, hosted by Lasercorn and Sohinki, who play the open world action-adventure game Saints Row: The Third. It was released on December 18, 2012.

Description
''Saint Row the Third leads to some MATURE activities. Sorry''

Sohinki's turn
Lasercorn instructs Sohinki to bust through a window to kill a "whore-ish-looking" girl with the Penetrator dildo bat. Sohinki breaks through the wrong window and goes back inside to the correct one, but when he hits the window, the window does not break, but the woman is still knocked out. Confused but amused by this, Sohinki breaks through the window and beats the woman to death, as well as another woman on the same balcony (who dropped a gun upon death). Lasercorn points out Sohinki's skin, which Sohinki made to resemble The Joker.

At Sohinki's suggestion, Lasercorn orders him to jump off the roof. While descending a staircase, Sohinki's character gets a phone call. Lasercorn tells him to answer it in mid-air, but Sohinki accidentally answers it at that moment. Sohinki hangs up the phone and dives off the building. Lasercorn refuses to allow Sohinki to deploy his parachute, resulting in his character falling to death.



Lasercorn orders Sohinki to "blow up a hospital, like in The Dark Knight", but Sohinki cannot as he is unable to enter the hospital. They settle for blowing up an ambulance instead. Sohinki starts shooting at what he thinks is the gas tank, but is interrupted when a random NPC punched him in the jaw. A surprised Sohinki quickly shoots the man, as well as another man and a policeman who happened to be nearby. Sohinki continues to shoot at the car as smoke eventually starts escaping from the hood. Lasercorn orders Sohinki to lure people closer to the ambulance. When a cop starts shooting at Sohinki, he switches to a shotgun and blows up the ambulance in only a few shots, but the cop survived the explosion. Sohinki runs in circles around the cop but is killed in a few shots.

Sohinki robs someone and shoots at her as she tries to run away. In a shootout with a policeman, Sohinki is ordered to use the woman as a human shield, who absorbs all of the bullets shot at the player-character. Sohinki eventually gets close enough to knock the policeman unconscious. Sohinki steals a minivan, then a sports car after deeming the former "too slow". After some time speeding and crashing into things, Lasercorn orders Sohinki to ram into a police car. Sohinki rams into a car right next to the cop car and tries but fails to push the cop cars into the nearby river. At this point, Sohinki notices his car engine is overheating, but Lasercorn dismisses it and assures Sohinki that he will be fine. Sohinki rams into another police car and tries to push it into the river at Lasercorn's command, but with great difficulty as the car is parked and the engine catches fire. Sohinki exclaims that he needs to quickly leave the car, but Lasercorn doesn't allow it. Frustrated, Sohinki calls for a switch.

Lasercorn's turn


Lasercorn notices a black truck with neon green highlights and lights on the bottom. Against Sohinki's orders, Lasercorn steals the truck, but the truck begins to move around as if glitching, somehow killing Lasercorn. Lasercorn respawns and Sohinki orders him to steal a bus, which he does and is ordered to collide with a motorcycle head-on. After driving around for a bit, Lasercorn comes across a biker and hits him, causing the motorcycle to explode and the biker to get stuck in and glitch around in the back of the bus, much to their amusement.

Lasercorn continues to drive down the freeway with the biker's body still glitching even more out of proportion. Eventually, most of the body, (except for one knee) is glitching out of the side of the bus like an air dancer. Soon after, Lasercorn rams into a car and the already-exploding bus catches fire and explodes, killing Lasercorn and (presumably) the glitching biker.

Sohinki sends Lasercorn on a mission to hit as many policemen as he can with the Penetrator. This eventually causes a full police car to appear and the police open fire on Lasercorn. Lasercorn beats a couple of them down with his dildo bat but is eventually gunned down. After respawning, Lasercorn heads to a small shop and beats the cashier with the Penetrator, causing the alarm to go off and even a police helicopter to appear. After a while, a man enters the shop while the alarm is still blaring. Lasercorn tries to attack the man with the dildo bat, but the man does not react; instead, he simply squats down in front of Lasercorn as if "taking a poo". The man is knocked unconscious after being kicked to the ground.

Sohinki allows Lasercorn to use the guns in his arsenal to take down the helicopter outside to raise his notoriety. Lasercorn uses his machine gun and when he runs out of bullets, switches to his shotgun. Sohinki advises against using the "shotty", as it fires too slow and Lasercorn is losing health from being sniped. Lasercorn switches to twin handguns and manages to kill one of the snipers, temporarily making the helicopter veer off. Unfortunately, the helicopter regains control and continues its efforts to kill Lasercorn. Lasercorn attempts to escape back into the shop but is killed right before getting there. This frustrates Lasercorn enough to call for a switch.

Sohinki's turn
Lasercorn proves that Sohinki can rap using the word 'ambulance' and raps a few lines that rhyme with the word as Sohinki drives in a presumably stolen ambulance. Sohinki drives the ambulance head-on into a car, which makes the ambulance drive straight over it, causing the car underneath to explode. After running over a couple pedestrians, Lasercorn gives Sohinki an option: either Sohinki must "ramp off something really cool or find me a flying vehicle". Sohinki spots what he calls a ramp and drives back down the road he arrived from to gain momentum. Sohinki speeds through a bus stop window and lands on the other side of a river and crashes into a parked train. Unable to find any more ramps, Lasercorn sets his eyes of a flying vehicle.

Sohinki uses a cheat code to obtain an F-69 VTOL. Sohinki discovers that the jet can fire beams of lasers and that he can charge it to fire five large fireballs at the same target. Sohinki flies over to a bridge and proceeds to fire at everything on it. He moves to the other side of the bridge and continues his killing spree. Sohinki accidentally swerves the VTOL into the side of a building, igniting one of its engines and causing the jet to explode, killing him. After respawning, Sohinki calls for a switch (not out of anger or frustration, but he has a goal for Lasercorn to accomplish).

Lasercorn's turn
Sohinki's goal for Lasercorn is for Lasercorn to balance an NPC on the hood of a stolen car using the game's "terrible" ragdoll physics for at least ten seconds. After realizing the difficulty of the challenge after Lasercorn's first attempt, Sohinki shortens the time minimum to five seconds. Lasercorn asks if Sohinki has accomplished such a feat before, and Sohinki explains that he has, in an unspecified mission in which the player gets more points for balancing NPCs on the hoods of cars. Lasercorn eventually manages to do this for roughly five seconds. It was closer to four seconds, but Lasercorn wanted to ride in a helicopter and considered it completed anyway.

Later, Lasercorn is piloting a helicopter with infinite missiles and begins spamming missiles onto the streets below. Lasercorn continues to wreak havoc on the city until he accidentally runs into a tree, causing his helicopter to explode and thus killing him. Lasercorns decides that the only thing that will help is to beat a man dressed in a light green costume to death with the dildo bat. He does so as the police arrive and open fire, all the while Sohinki narrates and Lasercorn continues to beat the costumed civilian (who has long since been killed) with the dildo bat. Of course, Lasercorn is eventually shot to death, thus ending the episode.

Trivia

 * After Lasercorn freestyle raps for Sohinki, Sohinki suggests that he should have been part of the freestyle rap duo punishment in the Game Bang episode EPIC SMOSH RAP BATTLE. Lasercorn reminds Sohinki that he won "that one". (In actuality, Ian won, but Lasercorn did come in 2nd place.)
 * This is the first episode of Backseat Gaming in which one of the hosts calls for a switch for a reason other than anger or frustration.
 * This is the sixth "successful" episode of Backseat Gaming, meaning that it did not end with someone ragequitting.