5 Ways to Get a Girl

"5 Ways to Get a Girl" is a Smosh video that was uploaded on May 14, 2010.

Learn the best ways to get a girlfriend...or boyfriend.

Introduction
Ian is watching a commercial about people building relationships online. When the TV says, "What are you doing? You're probably just looking like a loser sitting on the couch with, like, a striped sweatshirt and some stupid hippie haircut," Ian gets shocked and offended. Meanwhile, Anthony is dancing in a blue unitard when Ian tries to ask him for help, only to hear the music and ask Anthony if he is practicing for Circus Day Ole again. Startled, Anthony lies that he is not before opening the door in his regular clothes. Then Ian asks Anthony to get him a girlfriend.

Rule #1: Act like a jerk.
Anthony asks the girl for her water bottle. The girl gives him the water bottle, only for Anthony to drink the whole thing for her. After he throws the bottle on the ground, he then asks her, "So you wanna make out?" Later, Anthony was looking into the trunk of the car, where Ian is asking if he's okay. Anthony then reveals a mark on his face where he was slapped;

Lesson Learned: Don't be a jerk.

Anthony tells Ian that he'll impress ladies by taking out two weights.

Rule #2: Show your manliness.
Anthony was lifting the weights around the girl before he starts to hit on her. However, the girl sees yellow pit stains on Anthony's shirt and gets disgusted before giving Anthony some Stain Guard Deodorant.

Lesson Learned: Women hate yellow.

While Anthony didn't get the girl, she did give him the deodorant and told Ian to smell his armpits. At first, Ian is disgusted, but Anthony convinces Ian to do so. Ian sniffs the armpit and compliments on the smell. Anthony sees a girl getting her mail and tells Ian that he'll do what he did to get his last girlfriend.

Rule #3: Use your secret weapon.
Ian turns on the radio, and Anthony starts to sing his love song. However, the girl turns around and reveals to be a man. Ian and Anthony scream and run away.

Lesson Learned: Make sure it's not a man.

Ian points out that Anthony didn't get a girl yet, but Anthony defensively argues that Ian's " throwing [Anthony] off [his] game."

Rule #4: Don't limit your options.
Anthony was asking an old woman to go out with her, but the woman keeps saying, "No." Anthony even offers to buy her another strawberry cheesecake, and he even offers to buy 5. Irritated, the woman still says, "No."

Lesson Learned: Women eat food.

Ending
As Ian watches Anthony try to get the woman, he cries he will never get a girl. The jogger sees him crying and tries to comfort him. Anthony sees this and gets jealous, asking what she is doing. The girl says that she gave Ian her number if he ever wanted to talk about his feelings. Then Ian looks at Anthony before a message shows, saying, "CRYING ALWAYS WINS."

Script
5 Ways to Get a Girl/Script

Shut Up! Opening
"I could get a girlfriend if I tried. SHUT UP!"

Subscription Ending
"Thanks for subscribing and pressing that yellow button!"

Trivia / Goofs

 * The title is "5 Ways to Get a Girl;" however, only four ways were mentioned. However, this may not be a goof since the ending has Ian crying, which is the 5th (possible) way to get a girl.
 * It is possible that crying is counted as a way to get a girl.
 * Near the end of Rule #2, the girl hands Anthony a stick of Speed Stick Stainguard deodorant. Because of this, many fans accused Smosh of being sellouts.
 * Anthony's love song uses the same instrumental section in "Anthony's Song for Lou."