Every Party Ever/Script

The official script of Every Party Ever.

Script
Dude #1 (Ian)

Dude, this party is gonna be so sick!

Dude #2 (Anthony)

Yeah, man, I've been waiting all week for this!

Both

Let's party! *Sudden Silence*

Narrator

Every Party Ever!

Young Woman (Olivia): Hey, can you play that one song that goes like "Di-Da-Da-Di-Di-Li-Dad"? *Song Plays* Yeah!

Narrator

Every Party Ever.

Handsome Nerd (Noah)

Oh, my God. This guy is passed out and I don't think he's breathing! Can someone help?!

DJ (Keith)

Don't you worry; I know just what to do. *Pulls out a Sharpie*

<p style="text-align:center;">Crowd

<p style="text-align:center;">Penis, Penis, Penis, Penis, Penis, YEAH!

<p style="text-align:center;">Narrator

<p style="text-align:center;">Every Party Ever.

<p style="text-align:center;">Young Woman: Screw guys, I just wanna have both of my girls tonight! *Notices Dude #2 and begins kissing him*

<p style="text-align:center;">Young Woman: Mmm, I like this!

<p style="text-align:center;">Dude #2: Mmm, I know!

<p style="text-align:center;">Narrator: Ever!

<p style="text-align:center;">Handsome Nerd: *Turns Down Music, Starts Playing Guitar And Singing*

<p style="text-align:center;">Crowd: Boo! Boo!

<p style="text-align:center;">Engaged Man: Hi ya! *Crushes Acoustic Guitar* Play that "Di-Da-Da-Di-Di-Li-Dad" song!

<p style="text-align:center;">Narrator: Ever, Ever, Ever.

<p style="text-align:center;">Young Woman: Eww, who's that old guy?

<p style="text-align:center;">Girl: No one, he shows up to every party

<p style="text-align:center;">Young Woman: Did he graduate like 4 years ago?

<p style="text-align:center;">Girl: Right?

<p style="text-align:center;">Old Man: Gonna be knee-deep in that beeswax! *Spits*

<p style="text-align:center;">Narrator: *muffled* Ever.

<p style="text-align:center;">DJ: Hey, man, that's a nice shirt!

<p style="text-align:center;">Tough Guy: What did you say about my girlfriend?

<p style="text-align:center;">DJ: No, no, no, that's a nice SHIRT.

<p style="text-align:center;">Tough Guy: My mom's not fat! *Punches DJ*

<p style="text-align:center;">Narrator: Meh.

<p style="text-align:center;">Drug Dealer: Party's pretty lame, right?

<p style="text-align:center;">Handsome Nerd: Actually, we're having a pretty great time.

<p style="text-align:center;">Drug Dealer: You guys wanna take this to the next level?

<p style="text-align:center;">Young Woman: No.

<p style="text-align:center;">Drug Dealer: Yeah, I know that stuff's for pussies, right? Don't you guys know about the "BEACH"?

<p style="text-align:center;">Handsome Nerd: Dude, that's LITERALLY just bleach.

<p style="text-align:center;">Young Woman: It could kill you!

<p style="text-align:center;">Drug Dealer: Yeah, if you're a wussy! Let's take this to the next, NEXT level. Don't you guys know about, the sep? Seppuku!

<p style="text-align:center;">Handsome Nerd: What the f*ck, dude!

<p style="text-align:center;">Drug Dealer: Bros, where you goin'? This party blows.

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p style="text-align:center;">Narrator: Bulch!

<p style="text-align:center;">

<p style="text-align:center;">POLICE OFFICER

<p style="text-align:center;">Alright, everybody, party's over, shut it down.

<p style="text-align:center;">CROWD

<p style="text-align:center;">Aww!

<p style="text-align:center;">POLICE OFFICER

<p style="text-align:center;">*Mocks* Aww, look, I'm sorry but we just got a call from an 80-year-old woman who lives 17 miles away.

<p style="text-align:center;">Handsome Nerd: Dude, how would she even hear us?

<p style="text-align:center;">Tough Guy: What did you say about my girlfriend? *Punches Handsome Nerd*

<p style="text-align:center;">Police Officer: Oh!

<p style="text-align:center;">Young Woman: Oh, YES! *Kisses Tough Guy*

<p style="text-align:center;">Police Officer: That is nice.

<p style="text-align:center;">Narrator: Every Party Ever!