Movies Vs Reality/Script

(The narrator says what's a movie and what's reality)

Movie
Ian: (enters the house) I saw (closes the door) you at a gas station, and followed you across the entire state and two oceans, (touches the girl's shoulders) just to be with you.

girl #1: Kiss me you strange man I don't even know.

(Ian dips the girl down and kisses her)

Reality
Ian: (enters the house) I saw (closes the door) you at a gas station, and followed you across the entire...

girl #1: Molester! (sprays Ian's eyes)

(Ian falls down and screams in pain)

girl #1: Bitch! (steps on Ian and leaves)

Movie
audience: (watch Ian and Anthony fight) Kill him! Kill him! Kill him!

(Ian punched Anthony twice)

Anthony: (tries to punch Ian, but it gets blocked by Ian, and then knocks him down with a powerful punch) So good at punching!

(the audience cheer)

Reality
audience: Yeah!

Anthony: (punches Ian and dislocates some of his fingers) AHAHAHAHAH! Punching sucks!

Movie
Anthony: (kicks the door open, goes in the building, shoots his guns randomly, knocks down a painting, and shoots at the ceiling) Gah! (doesn't talk for a second) CLEAR!

Reality
Anthony: (kicks the door and dislocates his leg) AHAHAHAH! Kicking sucks! (groans)

Movie
Anthony: What do you say we uh, get it on?

girl #2: (stands up) Frick yeah! (shoves the table cloth off the table, lies down, and kisses Anthony)

Reality
Anthony: What do you say we uh, get it on?

girl #2: (stands up) Frick yeah! (shoves the table cloth off the table)

Anthony: (stands up) What the f**k?! Why just ruin all my stuff you dick?! You like it when I ruin your stuff?! (throws down the handbag) Huh, do you like it?! (beats the handbag with his hands; he then steps on the chair and steps on it repeatedly)

Movie
(tries to run to her car to escape from a scary clown; as she gets in the car and grabs for her keys, she drops them and tries frantically to pick them up before the clown gets her; after she is finally able to grab the keys, she puts the ignition key in the ignition only to find that the engine won't turn over; she then crosses her fingers, prays, and tries to start the car again; this time, she is able to get the car to start; however by that point, she spotted the clown in the car that was sitting in the passenger seat; she got stabbed by the clown began stabbing her with his knife and screams)

Antoinette: Ahahahah, my nipple hair!

Reality
Antoinette: (gets in the car and puts the key in the ignition making the car start up) That was easy! Ha ha ha. (drives away)

Sometime later

Antoinette: (drives around town and notices something) Wait, I'm a woman driver! (loses control of the car) AHAHAHAH! (crashes)

Movie
girl #3: Help!

Anthony: (pops up from a table) Don't worry, I'll save you!

Ian: Fire!

(Ian and his men tried firing at Anthony repeatedly, but they miss him)

Eleven seconds later

Ian: Bam bam, bam bam bam bam!

(Anthony shoots down Ian and his men with one shot each)

girl #3: Are you okay?!

Anthony: Pfft, who cares? Let's just go do that sex scene.

(the girl smiles)

Reality
girl #3: Help!

Anthony: (pops up from a table) Don't worry, I'll save you! (gets repeatedly shot by Ian and his men)

girl #3: Are you okay? (waits for a response) I think he's okay.

Movie
(the ticker counts down starting from eighteen seconds)

Ian: Which one is it? Is itAugh! Oh what is it? Oh god! The green wire? No no no. (mumbles) The white wire? No no no no no. Wait, I think it's the blue wire. (grunts for a second and then cuts the blue wire which deactivates the bomb before it explodes) I guess you could say when it comes to diffusing explosives, I'm (puts on sunglasses) the bomb.

narrator : (shows a city) Yeahahahahahah!(electric guitar music at background).

Reality
Ian: Ha, this will be a piece of cake. (cuts the wire that connects to the lamp) What the? (finds the wire's source) Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuudge (takes out a brownie) brownies!

narrator: (shows a city) Yeahahahahahah!

(the city explodes)

Alternate Scene
Ian: Fuuuuuudge! (eats the brownie) Good fudge. Gr-great fudge. Yeah huh, really good. (walks away from the bomb)

Movie
(Ian and Anthony dances with the girl and gambled with some guys while the music plays)

singer: ''We party 'cause we're cool and hip.  Getting all the girls 'cause we're hella rip.''

Ian and Anthony: This is the best night ever!

Reality
(Ian and Anthony approach to some girls while being drunk)

Anthony: I know the YMC, YMC.

Ian: YMCL.

Anthony: ABC.

Sometime later

Ian: (slides on the table while moving some cards and chips) Boom, game over bitches!

Anthony: (lies on the table) I'm a whale.

Sometime later

(Ian and Anthony tries to hangout with girls)

Ian: Can I get a picture of you?

some of the girls: Oh, no.

(the girls left Ian and Anthony)

Ian: Ladies!

Sometime later

Anthony: (lies on the gambling table with his back) Breakdance party! (tries to breakdance) Whoo!

Sometime later

man: (pushes Ian) You mind your nipples?

Ian: Really hard! (tries to punch the man, but falls down)

Anthony: I got your back! (tries to fight the man, but falls down on Ian)

Ian: I feel sick! I feel sick!

Anthony: I need a ride home!

Ending
(the narrator doesn't say "movie")

What could have happened
Anthony: (takes out the VHS tape) So, what did you think of the video?

Ian: Yeah mom, what did you think?

Ian's mom: I thought it was a really good effort, and you both should keep up the good work.

Anthony: Oh oh oh, (yells quietly) yay!

Reality
Anthony: So, what did you think of the video?

Ian's mom: (takes the VHS tape) That f***ing sucked! (throws the tape down and steps on it repeatedly)