Molester Moon/Script

In the living room

Anthony: (sent Ian a text message) Look, I just sent you an emoji of a fire truck farting.

Ian: Nice. I'm gonna send you an emoji of a chick farting on an old man's face. (sends Anthony a text message)

Anthony: Wait, what the frick is this ugly thing?

Friend: Damn, that moon looks it wants to molest somebody.

Ian: Wait, are you guys talking about, (has a flashlight shining on his face) Molester Moon?

(Anthony and the minority friend talk at the same time)

Anthony: Yeah, it does looks pretty molestery.

Friend: Yeah, I think so.

Ian: Legend has it that if you send a friend Molester Moon three times, they'll get a series of emojis which will tell them how Molester Moon is gonna kill them.

Anthony: Wait, so does it have to be three separate texts?

Friend: Or can you do it in the same message?

Ian: I don't know.

Friend: Like can it be inter-source with other things?

Anthony: Yeah, can it be like lamb-Molester Moon-laugh-farting-cat...

Ian: I don't know! Just don't do it! God!

(Anthony sends the minority friend three text messages)

Ian: (gasp) What was that?

Anthony: I just sent him Molester Moon three times.

Ian: Why would you do that?

Anthony: Well look, he's not a main character and he's a minority; so he's pretty expendable.

Friend: I'm not a minority.

Anthony: Really, then why are you subtitled?

Friend: (has "Ah dios mio!" subtitle under him) Oh my god!

(the Molester Moon appears in a black screen)

Later on

(Ian, Anthony, and the friend are in sleeping bags)

Friend: (got a text message from Molester Moon) Dude, I got a message from Molester Moon.

Ian: What?!

Friend: Nuh, these emojis don't even make sense.

Anthony: Nice prank Ian, not!

Ian: I didn't send that.

Friend: Can we all just go to bed? Being a minority is super tiring.

Anthony: Oh wait, pee pee before sleepy. (gets up and leaves)

Ian: Me too, poo poo before, uh, sloopoo. (gets up and leaves)

Friend: (has English subtitles under him while speaking Canadian French) Bonjour? Qui est là? (spots the Molester Moon) No! NO! NOOOOOOOOO!

(the Molester Moon appears on a black screen)

Sometime later

(the friend is unconscious, and Ian and Anthony got out from the bathroom)

Anthony: Good lord, you so pissed me with bucket.

Ian: I know, it's like, "Not my bucket."

Anthony: (found the friend dead) Oh dude, what the hell happened.

Ian: (hesitates a little) Check his phone.

Anthony: (gets the friend's phone) Oh my god, he got a text from Molester Moon; it says, "Fry ear donkey plus pizza up rooster."

Ian: Dude look, his ass's all burnt up. Wait a second. (flips the friend to his front side) Oh, god!

Anthony: Jesus!

Ian: Someone chopped up his wiener!

Anthony: Oh, I get it. It's, "Fry your ass and slice up cock." This Molester Moon is freaking clever.

Ian: So Molester Moon IS real.

Anthony: Awesome.

Ian: What?! No, that's-that's not awesome at all! That's like the Hitler of awesome: which-which isn't very awesome.

(the Molester Moon appears on a black screen)

In the kitchen

(Anthony grabs a container of Cherrios from the refrigerator and eats off of it)

Ian: Dude, how could you be having a midnight snack in a time like this?

Anthony: Well duh I'm hungry, and it's a sleepover. What you do?

Ian: Okay and uh, who invited her?

(a girl is seen eating whipped cream straight from the can)

Anthony: Well I thought the movie could use a little more sex appeal. So uh.

Ian: Wait, what movie?

Girl: (got a message from Molester Moon) Ew, this creepy moon face sent me a bunch of emojis.

Ian: You sent her the Molester Moon too?!

Anthony: Well, I didn't want her to feel left out!

Girl: AAAAH! (is seen with whipped cream on herself) Dang it, I missed my mouth (rubs whipped cream) and got all over my new shirt. (keeps on pouring whip cream on herself)

(Ian and Anthony watch the girl has she done the action)

Ian: I think I get the sex appeal thing now. (eats Cherrios on his hand)

(the Molester Moon appears on a black screen)

In the bathroom

Girl : (takes a bath in her clothes) This steamy bath should get rid of the stain. I just hope there aren't any electrical objects nearby that might electrocute me while I'm in here, (grabs her phone) just like this text message foreshadowed. (spots the Molster Moon) Ah! (drops her phone and gets electrocuted)

(the Molester Moon appears on a black screen)

Later on

(Ian and Anthony found the girl dead)

Ian: We have to call the cops.

Anthony: You do that and I'll send you the Molester Moon.

Ian: You don't have the guts.

Anthony: Oh really? (sends three text messages to Ian)

Ian: You idiot, you've doomed us all! (sends three text messages to Anthony)

Anthony: Whatever. (walks away and acts jokes about him being scared) Ooh, Molester Moon's gonna get me!

In the living room

(Ian and Anthony lie down on their front side)

Anthony: (sighs) What the hell do you think this one means?

Ian: Oh, that's super easy. It means that you're gonna get ran over while you're Christmas tree shopping.

Anthony: No dude. I'm pretty sure it means a guy's gonna pick me up, take me to the forest, and stick his thumb up my butt. (receives a text message from Molester Moon saying Soon)

(Ian and Anthony both gasp)

Molester Moon: (enters) I'm gonna molest you!

Ian: (stands up before Anthony) Oh Jepes!

Anthony: Ruuuu(starts to inhale)uuun!

(Ian and Anthony in the hallway to escape)

In the hallway

Molester Moon: (follows Ian and Anthony) I'm gonna molest you!

Out on the yard

(Ian and Anthony are still running away from Molester Moon)

Anthony: Why are we running?!

Ian: I don't know, just look out for random objects. The people getting chased always trip over them. (trips on a stuffed cat)

Anthony: Ian! (trips on an Easy Step)

Ian: (gets back up) Come on man, get up! (trips on something)

Anthony: Dude, watch where you're going! (trips on something)

(Ian and Anthony trip on random things)

Molester Moon: (dances by Ian and Anthony) I'm gonna molest you! (doesn't talk for a few seconds) I'm gonna molest you! (doesn't talk for a few seconds) I'm gonna molest you! Ooh! I'm gonna molest you! I'm gonna...

(Ian grabs a hold of Anthony)

In Ian's bedroom

(Ian and Anthony ran inside to escape)

Molester Moon (in the hallway): (stands near the door) I'm gonna molest you!

(Ian and Anthony crawls while backing away to the hamper to avoid Molester Moon)

Molester Moon (in the hallway): (tries to get in) Damn it! I'm still gonna molest you once I get through this door! (gives up) AH, F*** IT! I'm gonna go molest somebody else! (backs away and exits the house)

Anthony: Best sleepover ever!

(Ian felt unsatisfied; the black screen shows the title of the movie and a picture of Molester Moon appears on-screen as a bloodcurdling scream and scary music plays with the image)