Real Mario Lava Floor!/Script

Introduction
In the living room

(Anthony sleeps while Ian plays on his Game Boy Advance SP)

Ian: (slaps Anthony) Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up!

Anthony: (wakes up) What?!

Ian: Dude, after thirty-six hours, we're gonna finally get pass that stupid lava level. Now I just need to sprint, jump, and then press the...

(Anthony slaps the Game Boy Advance SP near the fireplace)

Ian: Dude!

Anthony: Can't let you do that Hecox! If anyone's gonna beat that level, (talks differently) it's gonna be me.

(Anthony and Ian stare at each other for a second)

Ian: I'm just gonna go get my game. (stands up and then jumps quickly back on the couch) Oh, geez! What the hell?!

Anthony: Oh sh*t. Dude, the floor's lava!

Ian: What? How?!

Anthony: I don't know. We must have played the game so much that we got gameritis and our minds actually believe the floor is lava.

Ian: Oh yeah, just like that I played Grand Theft Auto and lost all concept of mortality.

(In a flashback outdoors, Stevie drives on a Mario Kart)

Ian: (points a gun at Stevie) Get off! Get off!

Stevie: Oh, okay okay okay. (gets off of the kart) Please don't hurt me! Oh, my God!

(Ian shoots Stevie in the balls, hops in the kart, and laughs while driving it)

(Back in the present at the living room)

Anthony: Yeah, like that I got addicted to Angry Birds.

(In a flashback outdoors)

Stevie: (carries Mr. Featherface on his ar,) Oh Mr. Featherface, I love you.

(Anthony takes Mr. Featherface and throws him)

Mr. Featherface: Whee! (knocks down some boxes down)

Anthony: Yes!

(Ian drives by Stevie and shoots him in the balls again)

Stevie: Ohohohoh!

(Back in the present at the living room)

(Ian and Anthony stands on the couches they were sitting on)

Ian: How the hell are we gonna get over there?

(Super Mario World lava music is played)

Anthony: I guess we're just gonna have to use all the skills we've learned from playing Mario.

World 1-1: The Epic Pit
Ian: Rock-paper-scissors to see who jumps first?

Anthony: Fine.

Ian and Anthony: Rock, paper, scissors!

(Ian poses a shotgun while Anthony poses paper)

Ian: Ha, gun beats paper bitch!

Anthony: The hell man? You can't use gun!

(Ian makes gun noises)

Anthony: Whoa, whoa whoa dude! Watch where you point that thing. Okay, I-I'll go. Okay?

(Ian puts down his imaginary gun)

Anthony: (speaks in his mind) Alright myself, you can do this. (jumps in slow motion, but doesn't move to a different spot) DAMN IT!

Ian: Oh, (points at a pipe) why not use that pipe over there?

World 1-2: The Pipe
In the pipe

Ian: Damn it! Why did I have to go second? (his legs are seen hanging out of the pipe)

Anthony: (sticks his head out of the pipe) I hate to tell you this man, but I kinda ate a lot of Chipotle today like uh, a lot a lot. (farts at Ian)

Ian: Ughhhh, ughhhh! F**k you Chipotle!

World 1-3: Get Big
In the kitchen

(Ian and Anthoy get out of the pipe)

Anthony and Ian: Boom boom boom!

Anthony: Aw dude, (climbs on the counter) we just gotta eat these mushrooms so we can be big.

Ian: (crawls on the counter) Big? Aw yeah dude, I always wanted to try a little enhancement. Like, I don't about you, but like, all the girls tell me that I'm wider than I am long, so I'm getting sick of it. (looks at Anthony) What?

Anthony: (groans) No, like Mario.

Ian: Yeah, yeah. Let's do that!

(Ian and Anthony eat the mushrooms, make noises, and stands on the worksurface)