That Damn Movie!/Script

Ian: (was playing Pokémon on the Game Boy color) Oh, these graphics are off the hissy.

(Anthony walks by with a video camera)

Ian: Where are you going with that?!

Anthony: Oh, I'm uh entering for that twenty-four hour film competition.

Ian: Aaaah, your entering film competition where you have to make a movie in twenty-four hours.

Anthony: Isn't that what I just said?

Ian: So do you need a partner?

Anthony: Yeah.

(Ian points at himself hoping he'll be Anthony's partner)

Anthony: No man, you suck at making videos! Have you seen any of your videos online?

In THE CUTEST CAT EVER!

Ian: Meow, I'm a kitty. (Scratches fake ear) Meow!

Back in the house

Ian: Fine, I'll go make my own video and it's gonna be better then you crap! You'll see. They'll all see. (laughs evilly)

Anthony: Yeah, whatever dude. (leaves)

In Benny's house

(Anthony enters in)

Anthony: Hello? Is-(closes the door)is anyone even in here?! (Tripped on Benny's flamingo) Ouch.

Benny: (jumps out) You better get (he made Anthony scared) away from my pet flamingo before I shoot your ass faster than you can say "Superfragicalisticeextrabootylious".

Anthony: You called about helping with that twenty-four hour film thing.

Benny: Oh, (drops the crossbow) I thought you were trying to help that damn neighbor steal my pet flamingo. Well ah, come on in. (turns around and sees the neighbor with his flamingo) Waah! You damn neighbor, give me back flamingo! (takes the flamingo back) And you better get out of my house real quick like before I turn your keyster to a football, kick it off faster than a wolf in a chicken coop. So GET OUT! Get OUT!

Anthony: Should I uh, come back?

Benny: Nah, that little weasel's gone for now. Now let's go film that movie.

(Anthony and Benny film the movie)

Anthony: (carries a sex doll) Our families don't approve us being together, but I love you. And love triumphs all. Kiss me baby. (kisses the sex doll)

Benny: (backs up and gets caught in his bear trap) Ow!

Anthony: (stops acting) WHAT THE HELL MAN?

Benny: Gosh damn bear traps! I set them up to keep that damn neighbor away from my flamingo, but someone moved them.

(They both see the neighbor carrying a bear trap)

Benny: Wait! Where's my flamingo?!

(The neighbor has the flamingo about to put it in the bear trap)

Benny: No! Don't bear trap my flamingo. He don't like being bear trapped like a trapped bear in a bear trap. (Walks to the neighbor with the trap stuck to him) Eh, eh. Just (takes the flamingo and cries) stay away from my flamingo. STAY AWAY! (Walks away and still cries)

Anthony: Are-are you okay? Do-do you need to go to a hospital?

Benny: No ju-ju-just go to stupid film festival. (Walks away)

At the film festival in the movie theater

(Anthony sits between Ian on his right and Benny on his left carrying his flamingo)

Anthony: So, how did it go?

Ian: Awesome; you?

Anthony: See for yourself.

announcer: (sounds boring) First up, we have a short film from (reads the card) Anthony Pad-Padildo? And Benny Jean.

(The two high-fived)

Benny (movie): Hey y'all, this here video's is a video about the self defense techniques of when someone tries to come after your flamingo. Yeah, when that little rascadilate comes from behind, you just gotta... (Keeps talking)

Anthony: (whispers) What the hell is this?

Benny (present): (whispers) Well your video sucked possum balls. So I did my own.

Benny (movie): Oh, oh. There's a guy behind us. (Throws the doll dressed like the neighbor to the ground and hurts it)

(Every moment in the film, the neighbor appears in a scene)

Benny (movie): Yeah, haha.

Benny (present): What!? IT'S THAT DAMN NEIGHBOR! HOW DID HE GET IN THERE!? NO!

(A scene shows the neighbor with the flamingo)

Benny (present): (Doesn't carry the flamingo) MY FLAMINGO! (Shakes Anthony) WHERE'S MY FLAMINGO ANTHONY!?

(Different scenes of the neighbor in a row shows him in different poses with the flamingo)

Benny (present): No! (Gets out of his seat) That damn NEIGHBOR! (Leaves) AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Benny (movie): Why are you hitting yourself neighbor? Why are you hitting yourself?

(Movie ends)

Ian: Wooooow! Nice chose of partner? (laughs) Not.

announcer: Excellent, superb. And our last short film of the day is made by Ian (reads the card)Schwarzenegger.

Ian: That's my stage name. (whispers) I'm gonna get some much poonany.

(The movie is directed, written, cinematography, and edited by Ian Schwarzenegger)

(The movie only shows Anthony sleeping and then ended with the word ("fin")

(One member if the audience really liked the movie and then the other audience cheered for the film)

Billy: (stood up) That movie kicked some SERIOUS ASS. Yeah! Woo!

Anous: (mourns) That was so beautiful. (eats a graham cracker)

Ian: (stood up) Woo! In your face Anthony! Yeah! Hahahaha! (Sees Anthony sad and decides to find a way to make him happy)

In the car

(Ian and Anthony have pepperoni pizza)

Ian: Heh heh heh.

Anthony: Thanks for sharing the prize with me man.

Ian: Course dude, couldn't let my best friend go without pizza. I mean it's like Abraham Lincoln once said, "Sharing is caring."

Anthony: W-wait, you're not driving?

Ian: No, I thought you were.

(They both see the neighbor driving with Benny's flamingo)

Anthony: Oh god!

Ian and Anthony: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

(The car crashed with the neighbor surviving while holding the flamingo without breaking and giving and smile)

Deleted Scene
(After Benny turns around)

Benny: Give me back my flamingo. (takes the flamingo, grunts, and growls) Bite your f**k off.

Alternate Scene
Anthony: ...the hell is this?

Benny: Oh... I shaved my balls and I wanted to record it.