If Movies Were Real 3/Script

Introduction
(Ian and Anthony watch Brokeback Mountain)

Jack: I wish I could quit you.

Ennis: Then why don't you

(Ian interrupts)

Ian: Dude, this movie's so unrealistic. No super manly cowboys would have a secret relationship together.

Anthony: Dude how many times do I have to tell you? It'd be stupid if movies were actually realistic.

Skyfall
James: Vodka martini. Shaken, not stirred.

Bartender: (gives the martini) Here you are mister.

James: (drinks the martini and spits it out) This tastes like ass!

Jurassic Park
Dr. Malcolm: Dude, check it out. If we extract this DNA, we can make real life dinosaurs.

Dr. Grant: Wait hold on. If we aren't careful, then these dinosaurs could get loose and then kill everyone.

Dr. Malcolm: Oh my god, but raptor babies will be so cute.

One day later

(They died from being attacked by baby raptors)

Dr. Grant: YOUR SO STUPID, but the baby raptors are so cute.AHHHHHH

(gets killed by baby raptors)

Paranormal Activity
Micah: (sets up the camera) Okay, I'm just gonna keep that rolling and then we can catch some ghosts.

Katie: You just wanna record us having sex, don't you?

Micah: S**T!

Star Trek
Spock: Sir. I am unable to see with all these lens flares.

Leslie: Whoa! Even my body has lens flares! (catches on fire) AHHHHH! (dies)

Kirk: That sucks.

Spock: Well, at least they look pretty cool.

(the two catch on fire)

Kirk and Spock: AHHHHHHH!

Kill Bill
Budd: Hey, are you Bill?

Bill: Yeah.

(Budd kills Bill with a sword and presses the easy button)

Button: That was easy.

The Wizard of Oz
Dorothy: Look Toto, a tornado. Maybe it'll wisp me away to a better place where I'll learn the value of family and become a better person. Take me to a better place. (jumps in the tornado) Whee!

At the funeral

(Dorothy died)

Hunk: She never was very bright.

Fast & Furious 6
(Brian approaches to Dominic)

Brian: You wanna race, bro?

Dominic: I only race with pigs, bro.

Brian: I'm not your bro, bro.

Dominic: Cool, let's race, bro.

Brian: Three two one, bro!

(They started their engines, but never moved)

Old man: Freaking bath salts.

The Hobbit
Bilbo: So you're telling me that if I put this ring on, I'll become invisible?

Gandalf: Yep!

Bilbo: Hmmmmmm.

In a shower

(a girl's taking a shower with Bilbo in it)

Bilbo: That's right, keep scrubbing. Yes...

(the girl sees Bilbo)

Girl: What are you doing in here?

Bilbo: This ring isn't making me invisible?!

Girl: That's from a crackerjack box.

Bilbo: Ah, damn it Gandalf!

Pacific Rim
Stacker: Alright ladies, there's nothing standing between the monsters and humanity's desturction except for our robots! Now are you ready to kick some monster ass with our robots or what?!

Reigh and Yancy: Sir, yes sir!

Stacker: To battle!

(Reigh and Stacker moved there remote control cars that got crushed by the monster)

Stacker: Well, we're f***ed.

There Will Be Blood
(Paul sees his nose bloody)

Daniel: See, I told you there'll be blood.

Chronicle
Matt: Woah, this ability's gonna change our lives.

Andrew: Hell with this power, we could change the world.

Matt: Yeah, what should we do first?

Andrew: Hmmmmm.

Near the shower

(the girl sees Matt and Andrew above the shower)

Girl:(gets surprised) You guys too?!

(Andrew takes the picture of the girl and him with Matt levitate downwards while laughing)

Andrew : Hehehe boobies.

Warm Bodies (Deleted)
Julie: I really think we have a connection, you know? I think I love you.

(R starts to eat Julie making her scream)

Ending
Ian: Yeah, I do reckon that would be quite preposterous.

Anthony: Darn tootin!

Ian: Well, I better go tender the cattle.

Anthony: (stops Ian from getting up) Hold up now partner. I reckon maybe we should try that one thing we've always wanted to try.

Ian: You mean, that thing.

Anthony: Yeah. Get the lights.

Ian: Okay. (claps twice)

(Ian turns off the lights)

(the two make slurping noises and then the lights turned back on)

Anthony: Eating mac n' cheese in the dark is even better than I thought.

Ian: I know!