That Damn Neighbor (video)/Script

(camera cuts to Benny Jean opening his cooler getting an energy drink. Benny jean closes it. He opens his energy drink. He sips. He sees Cletus comes in and sits.)

CLETUS

How's it goin', Benny Jean? Its a mighty fine looking fenced area you got here. (gets energy drink from cooler and close it back up.)What's it for?

BENNY JEAN

I'll tell you what Cletus. It's that damn neighbor. He's always come onto my yard, standin' next to my damn pet flamingo, And I just know He's just tryin' to round me up, and start a ruckus on my front yard.

CLETUS

You mean that neighbor standin' right over there?

(camera cuts to neighbor)

Benny Jean: See Cletus, that fenced in area is working already. That damn neighbor can't get in and stand next to my flamingo.

( camera cuts to neighbor standing near flamingo) Oh, what in tarnation? Grrrr. YOU'D BETTER GET OUT OFF MY FENCED IN AREA RIGHT NOW BEFORE I KICK YOUR KIESTER! YOU BOTHER ME AND MY DAMN PET FLAMINGO! NOW YOU'D BETTER SCRAM!!!!!

Cletus: Wow, Benny Jean, you really told that neighbor, he left faster than a rabbit out a snake hole.

Benny Jean: He sure did. (camera cuts to neighbor sitting on hydrant) Look at that neighbor, sittin' over there on that fire hydrant.

Cletus: You know what I reckon? you should put some security on this here fence, so he can't get in here again.

Benny Jean: That's a good idea, Cletus. I might as well do that.

Cletus:Well, you'd better.

Benny Jean: That damn neighbor's gonna have a hard time gettin' over my fence when I put these tacks on the top. Yeah, its perfect, oh Fudge!!

(camera cuts to neighbor)  Doggonit, how did you get in there? Get out! Get away from my flamingo!

(neighbor has binoculars) Don't bird watch near my  Flamingo.

(neighbour has football) What do you think you're doing  playing football in my yard? That's my football! Now you best give it back, now you hear?

(football hits Benny Jean) Oh sweet jiminy!

(neighbor has motorbike) I really have no idea how you did that! That's just badass, I'm not even mad at you about that.

(neighbor picks up flamingo) Please put the flamingo down, he doesn't like getting picked up.

(neighbor walks his dog) Oh, you best not be walking your dog in my yard, if he go pee-pee on my flaming I'm gonna kick your hiny back to Talahassie!

(Camera cuts to neighbor being far away.)

Cletus: Jumping jahostafazz, Benny Jean you really beefed up the security, with the tacks and stuff.

Benny Jean: Yep!

Cletus: I bet he's never gonna come back ever again!

Benny Jean: Oh yeah he ain't never getting in here, and my flamingo is secured.... Wait just a darn minute, Cletus.

Cletus: What?

Benny Jean: How did you get in here?

Cletus: Well, Duh! I cut a hole right here the other day.

(Benny Jean slaps Cletus)