Stupid Movie Sequels/Script

Introduction
(Ian and Anthony are watching a Spider-Man trailer for the new movie)

NARRATOR

This summer, prepare for Spider-Man. Again. (Keeps talking)

IAN

Another Spider-Man? Dude, didn't they just make one, like, two years ago?

ANTHONY

Yeah, you see, Hollywood ran out of ideas. So now they're just making unnecessary sequels.

IAN

Oh god; wonder what they're gonna do next.

Titanic II
(Carpathia sailor is searching for survivors and hears Jack)

JACK

HALP! OVER HERE!

SAILOR

WE GOT A LIVE ONE HEAHH!

(Helps Jack)

Get over here, boy! Aw, you must be freezing! Oh, oh.

JACK

Thanks man; name's Jack!

SAILOR

<p style="text-align:center;">But I thought you froze to death and drowned out there!

<p style="text-align:center;">JACK

<p style="text-align:center;">Ah, nah. It's the only way I can get rid of that clingy bitch.

(mimicks Rose)

<p style="text-align:center;">Never let go, Jack.

(Talks normal)

<p style="text-align:center;">I mean, that's pretty creepy, right?

<p style="text-align:center;">SAILOR

<p style="text-align:center;">Hella, bro.

Alternate Scene #1
<p style="text-align:center;">JACK <p style="text-align:center;">Thanks for rescuing me.

<p style="text-align:center;">SAILOR

<p style="text-align:center;">You're welcome; you like my pose?

(crew laughs)

Alternate Scene #2
<p style="text-align:center;">Jack <p style="text-align:center;">Name's Jack.

<p style="text-align:center;">Sailor

<p style="text-align:center;">Thanks, now you owe me for saving your life!

<p style="text-align:center;">Jack

<p style="text-align:center;">To be continued in Titanic III, the Quest for More Peeing.

Alternate Scene #3
<p style="text-align:center;">Sailor <p style="text-align:center;">Let's go get some bro hoes. I got a brewski in my back.

<p style="text-align:center;">Jack

<p style="text-align:center;">Yeah; let's go get some brewskis, bro.

<p style="text-align:center;">Sailor

<p style="text-align:center;">Okay, bro.

<p style="text-align:center;">Jack

<p style="text-align:center;">I had one chilling out on an iceberg; a freaking ship hit it.

(The sailor laughs)

Toy Story 4: The College Years
(Bonnie plays with Woody)

<p style="text-align:center;">Woody

<p style="text-align:center;">My name's Woody.

<p style="text-align:center;">Bonnie

<p style="text-align:center;">You're the best, Woody!

(Andy comes along all of the sudden)

<p style="text-align:center;">Andy

<p style="text-align:center;">Never mind. (takes Woody) I'm taking Woody to college with me! HA! HA!

(Andy leaves with Woody making Bonnie cry)

Three Months Later at College

(Andy is having sex with his girlfriend with Woody staring at the both of them)

<p style="text-align:center;">Andy

<p style="text-align:center;">Ah, yeah!

<p style="text-align:center;">Girlfriend

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh, Andy.

<p style="text-align:center;">Andy

<p style="text-align:center;">Oh, I love college!

<p style="text-align:center;">Girlfriend

<p style="text-align:center;">Do you have any toys?

<p style="text-align:center;">Andy

<p style="text-align:center;">Ah, yeah. I got one right here.

(Takes Woody, leaving his hat alone)

<p style="text-align:center;">Woody

<p style="text-align:center;">There's a snake in your pants.

Alternate Scene
Andy: Ah, I love college.

Woody: There's a skank in your room.

Girlfriend: Who's that?

Andy: Ah, that's just my Woody.

Girlfriend: This thing? (Sees his penis)

Andy: Woah, woah! No-no-no! My other Woody.

Home Alone 6
Kevin: (exhales) Seriously, I'm an adult now; I can live on my own! In fact, I'm alone everyday.

Inception 2
(Dominick keeps on staring at the top)

Dominick: (inhales) C'mon. (inhales) (gives up) Nah, f**k this. (Shoots the top, making it wobble more faster)

Alternate Scene
(Top stops spinning)

Dominick: Yes! (Walks to and hugs his children) Yeah, kids. I missed you. Ahahah.

(The top came back up)

The Hangover Part 3
Stu: Damn you, liver failure! (dies)

Deleted Scene
Stu: (Comes back to life) Ah, I'm still alive. Second wind. Can someone get me another beer?

The Social Network Part 2: Myspace
Narrator: Tom was just an ordinary guy who started one of the biggest social networks ever.

Girl: Hey, you look familiar.

Tom: Does this ring a bell? (goes to a whiteboard and poses like in MySpace)

Girl: Um, nope.

Tom: Tom, from MySpace?

Girl: The hell is a MySpace? (walks away)

Narrator: But that website sucked ass. Now he's homeless!

Tom: I'm so hungry.

Alternate Scene
Girl: The hell's a MySpace? (walks away)

Tom: F**king Zuckerberg.

The Passion of the Christ 2
(The Romans are having a feast)

Roman soldier #1: I still can't believe you killed Jesus.

Roman soldier #2: Hhm. I was just following orders. (eats an apple)

Jesus: (enters the tent) I don't die that easy.

Roman soldier #2: (spits the apple) Jesus! Please forgive us.

Jesus: I forgive you, my son. But my Tommy gun don't! (Shoots the Roman soldiers) Hahahahahaha...

(The rest of this was cut because we don't want any death threats)

Juno 2
Juno: Not again.

Cast Away 2
Chuck

Not again!

Alternate Scene
Chuck

I don't even have Wilson. I'll just have to play with my other ball.

Breaking Dawn Part 3
Minister

And do you, Jacob, take Bella's baby as your wife?

Jacob

I do! I love Bella's baby so much!

Anous

(appears all of the sudden)

Stop right there, molester!

(Shoots Jacob with his gun killing him)

Ending
Ian

So let me get this straight. All you have to do is take something that everyone knows, make a completely unnecessary sequel to it, and then you make a crap-ton of money off of it?

Anthony

Yeah, pretty much.

Ian

Hhhhmmmm.

Narrator

To be continued in Stupid Movie Sequels Part 2!