GIRLFRIENDS IN THE WILD

GIRLFRIENDS IN THE WILD is a Smosh video uploaded on November 30, 2012.

Syponsis
George Zazz discovers the subspecies of humans called the girlfriend.

Introduction
George Zazz (Ian) is spying on a couple spending time together. He tells the audience the subspecies of humans called "The Average Girlfriend", which will suck the life right out of the male and will drain him of everything they have. The girl stole the boy's money right when he wanted a kiss. George says that for years, they have worked in plain sight, destroying males little by little, but the methods have been a mystery until now in an episode called, "Girlfriends in the Wild with George Zazz Wilderness Expert".

(Anthony plays as every boyfriend except the intro boyfriend and George himself)

Low-Selfesteemus
George observes the boyfriend waiting for his girlfriend to come out of the bedroom, referring it as the "Low-Selfesteemus." The boyfriend then complains to his girlfriend that his grandmother only has a half hour left to live. The girlfriend comes out and complains that she can't go out looking like the way she is now because she barely has any make-up on (even if that's completely false). The boyfriend thinks she looks great, but the girlfriend calls him an "a**hole" and slams the door on his fingers. George then warns the viewer to not compliment the Low-Selesteemus, as this would only agitate her further. The boyfriend then catches George in his house, who then runs off.

Deleted Scene
After the boyfriend said to get out, he changed his mind asking to take fingers out of the door. George steals the flowers which was for the boyfriend's granny. George shows the boyfriend his middle finger and says, "Bitch" after he leaves.

Talkalotimus
George enters a bedroom, saying that a place normally used for "excitement and fun" quickly turns deadly around the sub-species of girlfriend known as the Talkalotimus. The girlfriend tells the boyfriend that she had the craziest dream and asks if he wants to hear it. The boyfriend says no, but the girlfriend tells it anyway. The boyfriend quickly gets annoyed and points a gun to his head. George says that the male's only escape is through ritualistic suicide, but the boyfriend catches George in the room and starts shooting at him as George runs off.

Alternate Scene #1
After the girlfriends says in the story that the boyfriend was in it, she said that they want to a pizzeria for some reason and Jerry was selling marshmallows. Some time later, the girlfriend said that the boyfriend want her to taste the marshmallows, but wouldn't want to because she is allergic to it and the color freaks her out reminding her about a fluffy kitty they have.

Alternate Scene #2
Continuing on with the story, the girlfriend said that the story gets weirder because Dr. Phil shows up and he says that they have issues in their lives. When she was telling more about the story, the boyfriend ask if they have sex with Dr. Phil because that is all he hears about which the girlfriend said to be patient. More to the story, she thought it was great with the mustache rights and the other words. The boyfriend asked if Phil was free which the girl disagreed and questioned him.

Alternate Scene #3
After the girlfriend gets back to her story, she says that Dr. Phil shows up and starts guilt-tripping on them. The boyfriend wants to know if they'll touch his bald head which the girlfriend agrees including Jerry to touch the shiny, sweaty head. The boyfriend wanted to know who Jerry was which the girlfriends wants to watch the television instead.

Alwaysonadietus
Ian says that the "human feeding ground is always a bloodbath" around the subspecies known as the Alwaysonadietus. At the dinner table, the girlfriend complains that she can't have bread because she's on a diet, throwing some bread at the boyfriend. At the seafood restaurant, the girlfriend complains that she can't have water because she's on a diet, splashing some water at the boyfriend. At the Mexican restaurant, the girlfriend complains that she can't see silverware because it makes her think of food, throwing her silverware at the boyfriend.

Exceptationus Gigantus
George then observes the most unstable girlfriend of all. The girlfriend yells at her boyfriend because he forgot it was their three year and second month anniversary and then slaps him. Later, after reading Twilight, the girlfriend asks the boyfriend why he can't be more like Edward and then slaps him. Later, after reading Hunger Games, the girlfriend asks the boyfriend why he can't be more like Katniss and then slaps him.

Pissedoffallthetimeus
George tells the viewer in the previous girlfriend to have aversion tactics ready when the threat arises. However, a woman comes in and yells at George that he's late for their anniversary dinner again. George then tells the viewers that this is the worst species of girlfriend called the Pissedoffallthetimeus, or simply put, his girlfriend. His girlfriend says that she can hear him and complains that she didn't want to be on camera since it makes her look fat. George tries to compliment her, but she doesn't take it and asks if he forgot their anniversary. However, George quickly devises a lie saying that he didn't and got them a trip to Italy. His girlfriend hugs him and says "I love you" and then angrily demands that George says it back. When he does, she returns to her happy behavior.

Giganticpussyasaurus
George's son pops up and tells the viewer that his dad has completely caved in to her demands, referring to his species as the Giganticpussyasaurus. George then tells his girlfriend that he'll never say no to her again, much to his son's disappointment. He then tells the viewer to join him next time to see if his dad can "grow a pair of freaking balls" in an episode of "Whipped Boyfriends in the Wild with George Zazz, Sackless Bitch." George says to the audience, "Help me."

Deleted Scene #1
After the son tells the audience to tune in next time to the part where George grows some balls, George grounds him.

Deleted Scene #2
After the son tells the audience to tune in next time to the part where George grows some balls, George said it wouldn't happen because he had surgery that removed his balls.

Deleted Scene #3
After the son tells the audience to tune in next time to the part where George grows some balls, George says he has to wait for them to drop.

Script
GIRLFRIENDS IN THE WILD/Script

Trivia

 * This video came out the same day as Ian's birthday.
 * This goes over the misleading concept in AWESOME NEW ROBOT!.
 * Before this video, Smosh has over 6,000,000 Subscribers which was after the 5,000,000 subscribers in 5,000,000 SUBSCRIBERS!
 * Saurus means lizard.
 * Mus means mouse.
 * Meus means my.
 * Us means preferring to.
 * This is the second appearance of George Zazz, first was TEENS IN THE WILD!
 * George probably has two sons because his son in this video is younger and talks/dresses like him. Though in the previous video, his son was an average teenager played by Anthony.
 * This episode may reference anorexia since the Alwaysonadietus wouldn't even eat bread or drink water because she's on a diet. She also can't see silverware because it makes her think of food.
 * The jail time had to be less four hundred days because that is the difference between TEENS IN THE WILD! and this video.
 * The second boyfriend could have just drop the flowers and open the door with his other hand to escape.
 * During the scene where George starts explaining the Alwaysonadietus, he has a bandage with a bloodstain on his right arm, possibly the result of the Talkalotumus' boyfriend shooting him.
 * The Talkalotumus' boyfriend was holding the Xbox controller upside down.

Subscription Ending
"Thanks for subscribing. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go find my balls."

Shut Up! Opening
"If you truly loved me, you would buy me that. SHUT UP!"

Video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTVgw1DTSXs