That Damn Yard Sale/Script

Trumpet playing..... SHUT UP!

Plot
Cletus: How's it going Benny Jean? Its my nice looking yard sale you got going over here!

Benny Jean: Yup.

Cletus: Why are you selling this stuff here anyhow?

Benny Jean: Well I'll tell you what Cletus, well this dangass process of shooting up higher than a gofer in a geizer, I can't afford to drive my damn hummer no more.

Cletus: Why don't you get one of the Toyoties or Sundaes or something.

Benny Jean: Are you kidding me? I'm never going to buy a car made by carbbiness.

Cletus: Guess you're right, got anything good for sale? Starting to run out of camo shirts.

Benny Jean: I think I've got some in the box over there.

Cletus: You mean that box right there? [Neighbor Holds Box].

Benny Jean: Not you again, You're not welcome near my stuff especially my damn pet flamingo! [Snatches Box]. You better let go off my box! [Falls down with box]. If I see you near my stuff again I swear to mom and jean's grave I'm gonna....

[Neighbour picks up something else, cops come].

Benny Jean: Thats it! I'm calling the cops! '''[He dials]. '''Hi Sheriff, we got a problem here. Alright neighbour, its now time you..... Where did he go Cletus?

Cletus: Look over there Benny Jean. He's run his own yard sale!

Benny Jean: And he's selling stuff as me! Cletus, what should we do?

Cletus: Maybe we should advertise our yard sale or something.

Benny Jean: You're right Cletus, and I got just the idea!

Cletus: I really think this won't work Benny Jean.

Benny Jean: It'll work Cletus. You know those people who stand at the sandwich places in the sides and stuff. It works for that so it should work for us too.

[Cletus dances as he tries to advertise the yard sale].

Cletus: Benny Jean I don't think they can read this sign with me waving it around.

Benny Jean: Oh don't be stupid Cletus of course they can.

Ian Driving Car: What the hell does that sign say?

Anthony: Probably just for some stupid sandwich shop. Hey look a yard sale!

Benny Jean: Move the sign Cletus, it ain't doing nothing but give that damn neighbor more customers. Sir, Cletus stay here and guard the yard sale, I'll be right back. Sir you sure you dont need anything?

Cletus: Benny Jean, I got some great news.

Benny Jean: Not now Cletus, the guy wants to buy some Camo stuff.

Cletus: I sold your flamingo! That nice neighbor you paid top dollar for it!

[Ian slaps Anthony].

Police: You're under arrest for assault!

Benny Jean: Sheriff! He set me up!

Police: Is this true? My god, he is tromicized he can't even speak.

Benny Jean: No Sheriff thats just his way. No please that damn neighboor!

Cletus (Touching Neighbor): Hey, hey. Sold any camo shirts?

Neighbor: Don't f***ing touch me!