If Scary Movies Were Real/Script

Introduction
(Ian and Anthony watching a zombie movie in their house)

IAN

Why do people even like zombie movies?

ANTHONY

Er? They're fun to watch.

IAN

This is fun. Watching a bunch of corpses getting their heads blown off?

ANTHONY

Yeah. Imagine how stupid it'd be if scary movies were actually realistic.

Saw
(In a bathroom) ANTHONY

HELP!!! (crying)

(Anthony stares at Ian, dead)

ANTHONY

Why is a dead guy breathing?

IAN

DAMN IT!

Signs
ANTHONY

Die, Alien!

(Anthony throws water on monster)

<p style="text-align:center;">MONSTER

<p style="text-align:center;">HAHA! YOU REALLY THOUGHT MY WEAKNESS WAS WATER??? You humans are stupider than I thought. AH HAHAHA.

Psycho
(Girl is taking shower and shadow appears from the curtain)

(the psycho removes the curtains and girls screams; breasts are censored)

<p style="text-align:center;">PSYCHO

(removing wig and staring at boobs)

<p style="text-align:center;">DAMN!

Chucky "Child's Play"
Ian: Anthony! My doll is trying to kill me!

(They both go to Ian's room)

Ian: (Points out his Woody doll)

Woody: You're my favourite deputy!

Anthony: Are you kidding?

Woody: Die, bitch!

(Woody goes to Anthony's face as Anthony screams)

The Ring
(Ian's TV turns of and his phone rings with Justin Bieber's "Baby", he answers it)

Ian: Hello?

Caller: (creepy voice) Seven days. (hangs up phone)

(Ian checks phone)

Ian: Oh HELL NO! (redials number by pressing *69)

Caller: Hello.

Ian: Yeah, you just called me.

Caller: N-no I didn't.

Ian: Yeah you did.

Caller: Uh, Living Sex Line how may I assist you.

Ian: Okay, I know this isn't a sex line.

Caller: Yes it is.

(Ian looks around him)

Ian: How much do you charge?

Sex and the City
A picture of Sarah Jessica Parker is shown, zooms the teeth, making the viewers think that the Sex and the City is scary because of the picture. Smosh.

Scream (or any slasher movie)
(Reaper guy is chasing woman with a knife, corners her)

(woman tries to exit via doors but they are locked)

Reaper Guy: (laughs evilly)

(Woman gets gun and shoots guy)

(woman gets easy button and presses it)

Anthony: (through easy button) That was easy.

(woman smiles)