If the Internet Was Real/Script

Introduction
(Ian is watching a video that has just been uploaded onto YouTube. Anthony notices and is immediately excited)

Anthony:  Was this just uploaded?!

Ian:  Yeah?

(Anthony sits down beside Ian)

Anthony:  Dude, come on! Type "thumbs up if you're the 306th viewer"!

Ian: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;"> Why?

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Anthony: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;"> Uh, because people thumbs it up and we can brag to our friends when it gets top rated?

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Ian: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;"> Okay, but what's the point? I mean I wouldn't go out in public and ask for people to give me thumbs ups.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Anthony: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;"> Yeah, but this is the Internet! Can you imagine how stupid it'd be if the Internet was actually like real life?

<span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">YouTube
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(A guy is seen juggling three balls, when an Internet Troll (Hugh Jasshol) jumps on screen) <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Internet Troll: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;"> (drawn out) FAKE!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(Cut to another guy doing a series of flips  <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">when Internet Troll jumps on screen again)

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Internet Troll: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;"> (drawn out)  <span style="font-family:Helv,sans-serif;font-size:13px;">FAKE!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(Cut to a girl on her cell phone, revealing her cleavage)  <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Girl: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;"> You know, hairless bears kind of look like giant dogs.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">(Internet Troll jumps on screen, pointing at her breasts)

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Internet Troll: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;"> (drawn out)  <span style="font-family:Helv,sans-serif;font-size:13px;">FAKE!

<span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Twitter
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(Ian opens up the bathroom door and yells to the camera (tweets)) <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Ian: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;"> I JUST TOOK A S**T!

<span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Yelp
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:4.8pt0cm6pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">(Anthony and a woman are having a romantic date, complete with ambiance, eating spaghetti bolognaise)

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Woman: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;"> So what do you think of my spaghetti?

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Anthony: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;"> The noodles are too hard, the mashed potatoes are too sweet, it smells like a horse's ass, the ambiance in here sucks, there's a pube in my food, and my nipples are hard!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">(Cuts to girl woman looking deeply upset)

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Anthony: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;"> (deadpan) Three stars.

<span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">MySpace
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(A room full of chairs is empty, except for Tom, sitting next to a whiteboard, smiling nervously) <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Tom: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;"> Is anyone still here?

<span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">Google Images
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(Anthony is with Google Images (Ian) inside a house) <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Anthony: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;"> Hey Google Images! I'd like to see a picture of a toaster. <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Google Images: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;"> Certainly! Here's a naked girl with a toaster. <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(Camera pans to see a naked girl in the room holding a toaster) <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(Cuts back to Anthony) <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Anthony: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;"> NO! NO! I - just a plain toaster, and nothing BUT a toaster! <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Google Images: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;"> Did you mean a plain girl with a toaster up her butt?

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(Pans to see the same naked girl with the toaster up her butt)

<span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">AOL
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(Anthony is staring at AOL 9.0 on his monitor) <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(AOL's annoying dial-up tone is playing) <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(Anthony raises a gun to his head, about to commit suicide)

<span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">StumbleUpon
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(A naked guy is dancing in front of a disgusted Ian) <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Ian: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;"> Uh, God. Anthony! Stop changing my interests to gay porn!

<span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Smosh.com
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(Ian and Anthony open a door labelled with 'Smosh.com Inside') <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(A heavenly white light shines out of the room) <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Ian: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">THIS IS THE BEST SITE EVER!!!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Anthony: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">I JUST S**T MY PANTS!

<span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">2 Girls 1 Cup
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(Two girls are sitting by a kitchen counter with one cup) <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(The two stare at the cup)

<span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">AIM
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(Anthony and Ian are discussing a prom) <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Anthony: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;"> Yeah, I'm just not gonna go to prom this year. <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(A girl named iLuvCatsz15 pops out of nowhere) <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">iLuvCatz15: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;"> (cheerfully) What are you doing? <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Anthony: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;"> Nothing! So anyway -  <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">iLuvCatz15: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;"> What are you doing meow? <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(Three more people appear on screen) <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">XxSmoshMeSillyxX: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;"> WHAT'S UP? <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">​SoftTaco754:  <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">¡Hola!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">SpAnDeXiSkEwL <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">: ASL! <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(Cuts to Ian and  <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">XxSmoshMeSillyxX)

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Online predator: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;"> I'm a fifteen year old girl. Wanna cyber? <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">( <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">Online predator licks Ian's ear, much to his disgust)

<span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">Ending
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:4.8pt0cm6pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">(Cuts back to Ian and Anthony watching the video)

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Ian: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;"> OK, that would suck if it was real.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">(The Internet Troll from YouTube appears out of nowhere)

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Internet Troll: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;"> IT IS REAL YOU STUPID EMOS!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Anthony: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;"> What?

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Internet Troll: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;"> (points at Anthony) FAKE! (points at Ian) FAKE!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Ian: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;"> What the hell are you talking about?!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Internet Troll: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;"> YOU GUYS SUCK! GO KILL YOURSELVES!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Anthony: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;"> That's it.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">(Ian and Anthony get up and grab the Troll)

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Internet Troll: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;"> Oh now? What are you two faries gonna do? You gonna molest me?

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">(Cuts to see Anthony and Ian push the Troll out of a window)

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Internet Troll: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;"> (obviously fake falling behind a green screen) THIS EFFECT LOOKS SO FAKE! YOU GUYS SUCK AT VIDEO EDITING!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">(Internet Troll slams into the ground and dies on impact, while Anthony and Ian high-five each other)

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">(Cuts to a image of a dead Troll and a message "DON'T BE A DOUCHE ON THE INTERNET")

<span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">MySpace (Alternative Scenes)
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:normal;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(All share the same scenario, but Tom has different dialogue) <span style="font-family:Helv,sans-serif;line-height:normal;">'''1. Tom: '''Please kill me.

<span style="font-family:Helv,sans-serif;line-height:normal;">'''2. Tom:''' I hate my life.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:normal;"><span style="font-family:Helv,sans-serif;font-size:10pt;">'''3. Tom:''' Will you be my friend? (awkward silence) Please?

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:normal;"><span style="font-family:Helv,sans-serif;font-size:10pt;">'''4. Tom:''' F**king Zuckerburg...f**ker.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:normal;">

<span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">Facebook (Deleted)
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(Anthony and a girl are talking about their relationship) <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Anthony: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;"> So, I - I guess that means we're official. <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Girl: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;"> I guess so. <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(Anthony immediately spins around to Ian, who was standing behind them the whole time) <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Anthony: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;"> (in Ian's face) I AM NOW IN A RELATIONSHIP! <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(Three random people appear on screen) <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Random Woman: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Like!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Random Man 1: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Like!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Random Man 2: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Like!

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Ian: Why can't I dislike this?

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;">

<span style="font-size:13.5pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Wikipedia (Deleted)
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(Anthony and a random guy are arguing about Darth Vader) <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Random Guy: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;"> Darth Vader was  definitely  in  Star Trek .

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Anthony: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;"> No he's not. Right Wikipedia?

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:12pt0cm;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">(Cuts to Anthony and Wikipedia (Ian))

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Wikipedia: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;"> Uh, no. Darth Vader is, in fact, in Star Trek.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Anthony: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;"> '' No he's not! ''

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Wikipedia: <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;"> Dude, whatever! It's your word against a thirteen year old who gave me this information. Who do you think is more reliable? Dumbass.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0.0001pt;line-height:15.75pt;"><span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">Random Guy:  <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;border:1ptnonewindowtext;padding:0cm;">(smugly) <span style="font-size:10pt;font-family:Helv,sans-serif;">Verified. Ha.