REAL DEATH NOTE!/Script

The Park
Ian (thoughts)

I'm so bored! I just wish something supernatural would happen right now. (Ian sees the Death Note fall)  What the hell? (Opens the note and reads it)  If you write the full name of a person in this book, that person will die in five seconds. The cause of death will always be suffocation? Heh! Right.

Woman

Let go! Help!

(Cecil Adams laughs maniacally while trying to steal the woman's purse)

Woman

This man is trying to steal my purse! Let go!

(Cecil stole the purse)

Cecil: The name's Cecil Adams, the most notorious handicap bandit west of Mississippi! (Keeps on laughing)

Ian (thoughts): Huh! Let's see. Cecil... Adams.

(Ian looks at his SpongeBob watch)

5 seconds later

Ian (thoughts): Yeah; who knew it was fake.

(Cecil laughs until he gives himself suffocation)

Ian (thoughts): Ghhuhh! No way!

(Cecil dies while while crashing to a tree which Ian got surprised)

Random Guy 1: Did that guy just choke himself to death?

Random Guy 2: Cool! Didn't think that was possible.

Ian (thoughts): Sweet mother of god!

The House
Anthony: So you write any person's name in that thing and they die?

Ian: Of suffocation.

Peter: Like, they suffocate themselves?

Ian: Yeah; in anyway possible, I guess.

Anthony:  I thought it was impossible to suffocate yourself.

Peter: Yeah! Why don't you prove it? Write my name in there.

Ian: Um, okay. Alright Peter, what's your last name?

Peter: Peter!

Ian: No, your LAST name.

Peter: Peter!

Anthony: So your full name is Peter Peter?

Peter: My parents were crack addicts.

Ian and Anthony: Ohhhhhhhhhh.

Ian: Okay. (sighing) Peter Peter. There we go!

(Ian looks at his watch)

5 seconds later

Peter: I knew you guys were full of sh-...

(Peter is choking himself)

Anthony: OH MY GOD!

Peter (while choking): Make it stop!

Ian: Uh! (flipping pages) (Peter: Make it Stop!) I d-I don't know if I can!

(Peter dies)

Anthony: Oh my god, dude! You gotta get rid of that thing!

Ian: NO! Don't you get it Anthony? With this book, I can change the world! I can rid this world of all of the filth! Serial killers!

(Female was being chased by Ghostface until Ian wrote his full name)

Ian: Robbers!

(A robber stole a lot of money and Ian wrote down his full name, making him choke from his bag)

Ian: The cast of the Jersey Shore!

(Ian wrote Snooki's full name and is suffocated by two cucumbers in her mouth)

Ian: I'm going to purify this world. Nobody is going to get in my way! I. Am. JUSTICE! (Laughs evilly)

Ian's mom: Quiet down out here. I can't hear Wheel of Fortune over your stupid laugh.

Ian: You can't tell me what to do anymore MOM! (Ian writes down "MOM" in the book while laughing) You're gonna die mom. (Still laughs)

5 seconds later

(Sharon, aka Ian's mom, doesn't die)

Ian: That doesn't make any sense! I wrote your whole name on here. Look! (Shows what he wrote)

Ian's mom: My name's not "mom" dumbass!

Ian: I called you "mom" all these years and I don't even know your real name!

Ian's mom: And you never will! (Laughs evilly and plants a vanishing bomb, and vanished)

Ian: Never mind that! I have work to do.

2 months later, Hard Rock Coffee
News Reporter: According to sources, every criminal in the world is now dead. (Keeps on talking)

Anthony: Whoa! Congrats man, that's great!

Ian: It's not enough.

Anthony: But you killed every criminal in the entire world!

Ian: That guy's looking at me funny. (Looks at Hansel Thepedo's name tag)

Anthony: Looks pretty normal to me.

Ian: I don't like it. I don't like it one bit! (Writes Hansel's full name and he dies 5 seconds later) That's better.

Anthony: Dude he didn't even do anything!

Ian: Come on, he had a pedostache! Sure he's guilty of something.

Anthony: You have to stop this man! You can't play God anymore! (Anthony sees the Life Note fall and reads the cover) Write the name of a person who is dead, and they will be brought back to life. (Anthony writes Hansel's full name, resurrecting him)

Ian: Oh I see how it is.

(Anthony turns around his head)

Ian: You think YOU decide who lives and dies!? (Ian wrote Hansel's name as he laughs and Hansel dies)

(Ian and Anthony kept writing Hansel's full name and he keeps on dying and coming back to life)

Ian: (laughs) You'll never defeat me!

Anthony: Yes. I. Will!

Ian: Fine! (Ian wrote Anthony's full name in the book and laughs)

Anthony: You son of a bitch. (Anthony wrote Ian's full name in the other book)

Ian: Pff. What's that going to do?

Anthony: You'll see.

Ian: (sees the hard cover) Wait! (takes off the book jacket) No!

Anthony: (takes off his book jacket) The old switcheroo. (Ian dies of suffocation and Anthony laughs evilly)

(Screen turns black then words appear: "Books are dangerous, Play more video games.")