Wolverine

"Alright, guys. I gotta go take a piss..."

- Wolverine

Wolverine is a character based on the the superhero of the same name. He has been played by Anthony Padilla, Shayne Topp, and Ian Hecox.

History
Born James Howlett and commonly known as Logan, Wolverine is a mutant who possesses retractable claws, keen animal-like senses, enhanced physical capabilities, and a powerful regenerative healing factor. He was inducted into Weapon X, a top-secret Canadian government program to create human superweapons from which his skeleton was infused with adamantium, a near-indestructible metal. Throughout the years, Wolverine has been a member of the X-Men, Alpha Flight, and the Avengers. He was portrayed by Hugh Jackman in the X-Men film franchise.

Wolverine's brooding nature and willingness to use deadly force became standard characteristics for comic book anti-heroes by the end of the 1980s. As a result, the character became a fan favorite of the X-Men and has been featured in his own solo comic since 1988.

If Superheroes Were Real!
During Wolverine's segment, he tells others that he needs to "take a piss" and enters the bathroom. Wolverine has trouble opening up his zipper, however, and makes a final effort to force it open. Unfortunately, this activates his claws, which slice off his penis as it plops into the toilet water, causing Wolverine to scream in horror.

ONE LETTER OFF SUPERHEROES
In the segment for the "Ex-Men", Wolverine's girlfriend (played by Brittni Barger) angrily tells him that they are through and that she never wants to see him again. As she storms off, Wolverine takes his cigar out and turns to face Cyclops and Gambit, who tearfully express their sympathy.

IF MARVEL CHARACTERS WERE REAL
Wolverine approaches Professor Xavier and angrily asks him why he is in charge. Xavier reminds him of his telepathic power, which Wolverine does not accept as a reason. Xavier reaches into Wolverine's mind and casually mentions his enjoyment of "horse porn", disquieting the mutant into acting as if he has no problem with Xavier being in charge and asks him not to tell anyone. Xavier nods but taunts Wolverine on his way out.