Charlie the Drunk Guinea Pig (video)/Script

Part 1 song at beginning:

"Ian and Anthony were walking down an alleyway when they thought they heard a noise coming from a dumpster; they thought it was a tuna sandwich but it was a cute guinea pig. So they adopted him and named him Charlie, Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig!"

Part 2 Goes to the kitchen !!
ANTHONY So Charlie what part of England are you-

CHARLIE

Shut up.

ANTHONY

I was just-

CHARLIE

Shut up! You got whiskey around here?

IAN

Why would we have any whiskey?

CHARLIE

If your normal f***ing person that's why!

ANTHONY

Are you drunk?

CHARLIE

Our best sasald yeah. well catch you two little poofs later I got to get me some fricking booze. can one of you hum it down my legs are a bit stubby.

Part 3 In the living room
<p style="text-align:center;">Ian <p style="text-align:center;">No its about her transvestite Dad who's named Roxy dumbass!

listens to music

Ian

Charlie you need to clean up your bri-

sees him with his ex girlfriend

Ian : What are you doing with my ex girlfriend?

Charlie : What? she's fair game.

Ian : OH YOU BRITISH BASTARD!!!!!

accidently knocks his ex girlfriend out

Charlie : For peat sake you knocked a bloded block off! wanna take advantage of her?

Ian : No!

Part 4 Back in the kitchen
Charlie : Hey you big old poof I've got something to tell you.

Anthony : What?

Charlie : Closer.

Anthony : What?

Charlie : Closer.

Anthony : What?

Charlie : F**k you.

Anthony : Pay-per-view porn again are you serious?

Charlie : Sod off, wanker!

Anthony : Look dude we don't think you should live here anymore okay. just a second.

Land Lord : Hey you're 5 days late on my rent where's my money?

Anthony : Hey Charlie where's the rent money it's your month.

Charlie : No dice mate spent it all on booze.

Land Lord : If you punks don't pay me my rip by today I-

Charlie : Listen to me and listen to me well old man because I'm only gonna say it once we aren't gonna pay a single dime this month and if you have a problem with that you could speak to Mr. Stabby right here.

Land Lord : Don'tcha don't hurt me please! this one is on me!

Anthony : That was amazing!

Ian : You know what Charlie maybe you're alright!

Land Lord : Alright gimme my money!

Charlie throws knife through Land Lord's chest

Land Lord : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!