Board Thread:General Discussion/@comment-79.101.199.57-20140318135655/@comment-109.93.117.29-20160224181605

Here's one idea for a sketch that would perhaps ulitimately lead to a charity for all the homeless people (something positive, right?):

So the sketch would be about a dude living in a huge metopolitan city (like New York) - he's not poor but he just had a stroke of bad luck, maybe got a little careless, maybe a bit adventurous anyhow, and couldn't aford the huge rent, and perhaps got mugged so for the time being he has to live on a street, a tall white dude - late twenties, also he has some interesting clothing style,   and the way he walks intentionally,  and style in general (who said: "black dreadlocks, colorful wooly beanie, and a goatee" ??); so he has to look into a trash container and (just like going through amateur sketch comedy videos on youtube...) he has to go through all sorts of stuff to come to something really good - so he finds an apple and we hear his thoughts "Not bad hmh. That's a fine looking apple. Tasty. Sure. That would come handy latter. ...What else do we have here...", now he finds a part of a loaf of bread - hammers the edge of a trash container - thinks "Well... hard as a rock, but, sure, crash it up, mix it up with some, like, yoghurt and there you have a fine meal.", then he finds the next release of his favourite video game - he never bought it before because it was too expensive so he never played it but rrrrreally wanted to - so he thinks: "Whoooow - how cool! O' man. Half-Call of Hallo 3000! Man! I used to play their previous games all the time! Whoooow! Sweet! My favourites game of all times - w..what are THE ODDS hah! - And with all the CDs, stickers, manuals and everything - woooow - who would throw THIS in a trash? Haha. Just wait till I get enough money to travel back to my real home - I'm gonna so so so play this - HA. Awsome!" - puts it in his jacket, then finds some boxed in food items - checks the dates: "OK. That's nice. It expired only, what three weeks ago. No problems with that!" - puts it in his trusty baggy with an apple and a dry piece of a bread loaf - "What else ... - oh some green salad - lookin' fine - loads of vitamins.", then he looks to the right, moves some newspaper and magazines - "Oh - that's a fine looking reading material, maybe for after the din... Wh..." - and now he notices something under it - he's thinking: "What in da heck... Is that a chocolate cake?" - smells it from a distance - "WHOA!! It sure ain't no chocolate! What the hell is this?" - and then he begins to think - "Man, sure hope that isn't... Wait wh... It IS. OMG it is a piece of sh." - he was about to think it but he dry-heaves a bit - "Wh? Why would someone put a pice of sh** in a trash container in the middle of a street? What could possibly posses someone TO DO SUCH A THING??? I... I can't believe it... I just... I just can't believe this. Why in the world?!?" - and then he begins to theorize right there on the spot (and this is the main part of the sketch) cause he must rationalize it - "Could... I mean maybe... I don't know. Perhaps... Let's say someone, say, someone had to go to the doctor and the doctor gave him... or HER... yes cause let's not jump to any conclusions here - so he... no, wait, a doctor could also be a she - gave him or her a, say, a plastic container for a stool sample for him ... or her, to make a sample and then bring it to him ... or her - first thing the next morning, so him, -or her-, took the stool sample container, from the doctor's office, and went home and, like, the next morning went to his (or her) bathroom and did the deed and then took, like.. a.. like like like a some [dry-heaves a tiny bit] plastic thingy nasty spatula thing and like [again a bit] cut the piece of it and put in the plastic stool sample container and closed the lid and then... Wait a minute. If he (or she) gave the stool sample to the doctor's office then it wouldn't [end up here]... hm that's not it... Mm... maybe the doctor gave two plastic containers yea' yea' - SO: the PERSON filled [dry-heaves a bit again] both plastic stool sample containers with pieces of it [d-h again] - and then came back to the doctor's office the next morning and brought both of the things - and then doctor said: 'No - silly - I need only one stool sample - I gave you two plastic stool sample containers so you have a spare one in case you mess up - I don't need the second sample.' - So he (or she) replied like: 'W... Well what am I supposed to do with it now?' - and the doctor replied 'I don't know - do with it what ever you like - just take it away - don't be gross.' - so he (or she) replied 'Well... OK.' - awkwarrrrrd - and, like, t... like with hand, like, took it - the container, and then, I don't know - so - threw it in this trash container and thus it ended-up here. - There you go." - and while the dude thinks this he holds two fingers on his goatee and stands in front of the trash container just poundering - looking at the thing (only his wide-open eyes moving while looking down) - all puzzled and stuff - but then he figures "...Wait. ...Why would he (or she, right) go to the trouble of opening the container ... and throw it OUT - why wouldn't the person here just throw the whole plastic stool container with the stool sample safely tucked inside of it - into this here trash container - I mean - [and he gesticulates what he is about to say] - I mean WHAT?!? Did he, like, took the plastic container and opened its lid and, liek, thrusted the lid and the plastic container forward holding them with both of his hands exclaiming 'Pokéshit I chose YOUUUUU!' or what, I mean... " - and while he thinks about it unnoticed by our hero, here, some slightly drunk bum in an army-green jacket pushing an empty noisy squeeky shopping cart goes past behind him - then turns to him - then stops abruptly out of the frame (the left side), and then pulls in reverse, then heads over to him, looks curiously over his shoulder, quietly, inside the trash container in front of him to see what's he looking at - just as our hero was thinking "I... I mean - it - it makes no sense.. Wait! If it's from a person who went to the doctor's to take a stool sample then it means that it might be infested with all kinds of parasites and stuff - EEEWWWW! E.." - and *right then* the bum behind him swiftly SNATCHES IT WITH HIS BARE HANDS (actually he has black woolen gloves with holes for all the fingers) - saying "Pebble gwashoppa!" - and quickly stuffs it in his own mouth - to the outmost dismay and surprise and disgust of our hero "Wh??? ... Wh???" - and the bum says: "Mmmm... That's a mighty tasty piece of chocolate cheesecake! So sweet - my complements to the chef - OHOHOH! Aaaah - that hits the spot!!" - his mouth all messy from it - and he licks his messy fingers - our hero still baffled and disgusted [dry-heaving again] "Oo-oo Wh.. I mean wh.." - the bum replies - "What? You thought it was crap? - Look! - There's a confectionary right across the street - STUPID. Man - they just have the best cake leftovers - I come here all the time! See ya! ... M,m,m,m." - goes away still loudly slurping at his fingers and pushing that noisy squeeky empty shopping cart of his. Our hero just looks at him with a confused look on his face. 8. End of sketch.

[up for grabs, as always... 'for grabs'... get it? ...cause...]