If Movies Were Real

 is a main series Smosh video and is the first installment of the If...Were Real series.

Sypnosis
What would happen if movies were real?

Plot
Ian and Anthony are watching the Transformers 2007 movie. Ian suddenly complains that "no girl that hot would know that much about cars." Anthony tells him to get over it because it's just a movie, but Ian says that "the only way a girl would know that much about cars is if she was ugly, had bad BO, or was a lesbian." Anthony then tells him to imagine how stupid movies would be if they were realistic.

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs
Pineapples are raining on a bleeding Anthony and Ian. Both are trying to avoid the onslaught when Anthony yells "WHY'D IT HAVE TO RAIN PINEAPPLES?!".

Twilight
Bella (Ian) claims that she knows what Edward (Anthony) is. As his skin is pale white, and he doesn't go out in the sun, Bella assumes Edward is a vampire. However, Edward says that he plays a lot of World of Warcraft.

Forrest Gump
Forrest (Ian) is trying to tell a random kid (Anthony) about how you could "tell a lot about a person just by looking at their shoes." The kid runs away, though Forrest doesn't seem to notice. The kid then comes back and steals the box of chocolates on Forrest's lap, causing Forrest to shout "Hey, those are my chocolates!".

Hotel For Dogs
Mark (Anthony) holds up two plastic bags filled with dog poop, exclaiming, "There's dogsh*t everywhere!".

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Voldemort is driving away in a pickup truck while taunting Harry Potter (Ian). Harry tries to fly after him on a broomstick, but falls and lands on his "English teabags."

Home Alone 2: Lost In New York
Harry and Marv (Anthony and Ian, respectively) are talking to Kevin (Ian), who is standing on top of a playground apparatus (which was a tall building in the film). Harry tells Kevin that if he throws his camera (containing footage of their criminal acts) down to them, they won't harm him. Kevin agrees but chucks a brick at them instead. The brick smashes Marv on the head, killing him.

G-Force
Big Boy (Ian) is communicating with Speckles (Charlie the Drunk Guinea Pig) with walkie-talkies. Speckles does not say anything during the conversation due to being unable to talk. Big Boy screams, "ANSWER ME, DAMMIT!"

Watchmen
A picture of Dr. Manhattan (Anthony) is shown with his crotch area censored.

Up
Carl Fredricksen (Anthony) is sticking his head out of the window of his house when he exclaims, "So long, boys!" while blowing raspberries at the social workers bringing him to the retirement home. He releases several balloons out of his window, which unsurprisingly fails to lift the house.

The Sixth Sense
Dr. Malcolm Crowe (Ian) asks Cole (Anthony) what's wrong with him. Cole replies with the famous line, "I see dead people." Seconds later, Cole is in a straitjacket, trying to break free and prove that he is not insane.

Aladdin
Aladdin (Anthony) tells his magic carpet to fly, but a frustrated Harry Potter (Ian) walks by and tells Aladdin not to bother. Harry continues to throw his broomstick at the ground in anger due to what happened in his segment.

Ending
Ian admits that movies would suck if they were real. Anthony told him so. Ian then gets up from the couch and decides to leave for work, though Anthony tells him that "selling Miley Cyrus's used tissues on eBay is not work." Ian angrily says it is, then slams the front door. Ian is driving when suddenly his car breaks down. He is looking at the engine, when suddenly a girl takes a look at his car and diagnoses the problem. Ian is excited about what is happening and begins to ask the girl out, but then he sees that the girl has a penis (particularly a boner), making Ian shocked that she is most likely a transvestite or intersex.

Alternate Ending
When Ian sees the girl's penis, he screams in shock. She asks, "what?" in a deep voice.

Trivia/Goofs

 * Home Alone would be referenced again with an older Kevin (played by Anthony) in STUPID MOVIE SEQUELS.
 * In the Home Alone 2 segment, the scene occurs at day. But in the actual movie, however, it occurs at night.
 * In the other If......Were Real videos, Ian would be on the left side of the couch near the lamp/mirror, and Anthony would be on the right side near the opening to the bedrooms and the kitchen.
 * This video was nominated for a Webby Award for "Viral" in 2009 but lost.
 * This is the first appearance of Charlie.
 * The actual line the girl was meant to say was "A USDM EJ205 with a TD-04 turbo", but she was never able to get it. They instead ran with "A USDM TJ-05 with a TDF turbo".
 * The EJ205 is supposed to be a Subaru engine, but Anthony's Scion tC was used and not Ian's Subaru.
 * In the Up segment, Carl perched five balloons. In reality, you would need 105,854 balloons to lift a house.
 * When the girl's boner was shown, it was Ian playing as a double, as revealed in the BTS video.
 * Many people assume the ending confirms she is a transvestite. There is no official proof of it.