The Pokemon Master!/Script

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Script
(Anthony walks in the room when he realizes Ian is "Snailing" on the table.) Anthony: What the hell are you doing?

Ian: I'm Snailing! You know, it's when you make youself look like a snail in really funny places. It's way more hardcore then that stupid planking crap.

Anthony: Okaaay... Dude, check out what I got today! A Gameboy Color and Pokémon Blue!

Ian: But you already play the Red version, what's the diffenence?

Anthony: Uhh, this one's blue.

Ian: And how are you going to play it differently this time?

Anthony: I'm gonna catch them all!

(screen cuts to a narrator with Ian and Anthony in the background playing the new game.)

Narrator: And from that point on, Anthony made it his life goal to catch all one-hundred and fifty-one Pokémon. He was going to stop at nothing to catch em all, and when he did--

Ian: Hey! Who the hell are you?!

Narrator: Sh*t!

(The narrator grabs his radio and runs out of the room.) 

Ian: Do you know that guy?

Anthony: What?

Ian: I said do you know that--

Anthony: Shhh! I'm trying to catch Jigglypuff.

(Screen cuts to Ian and Anthony walking on the sidewalk while Anthony is still playing the game.)

Ian: Oh! So my Mom wanted to know what you wanted for Christmas.

Anthony: Mmhmm...

Ian: It's weird though, I mean, she doesn't even give me Christmas presents anymore.

Anthony: Yeah.

Ian: Hey your going in the road... Dude a car!

Ian: Shiiiiiiiiiii

Man in Car (Narrator): Aaaahhhhhhhhh!

(Man in the car turns and misses Anthony)

Man in Car: Whew.

(Man in the car heads the car towards Ian)

Ian & Man in Car: Aaaahhhhhhhhh!--

(Car hits Ian.)

(Screen cuts to Anthony visiting Ian in the hospital.)

Anthony: Hey, man. How ya' holding up?

Ian: Hey, man! Thanks for coming. You know, you showing up really says a lot of about how good of a friend you are. You dropped everything in your life to make sure I was okay, and that--that really means alot--

Anthony: YEEEESSS! Oh my God, dude, I just caught all 151 Pokémon! Oh man, I'm Gonna Get ALL thm to level 100 now!

Doctor (Narrator): Time to change you bed pad.

Anthony: This is amazing! I'm gonna go twat this!

Ian: Tweet this.

Anthony: Toot?

Ian: Tweet!

Anthony: Teet?

Ian: TWEET!

Anthony: Thats what I said. Alright, see ya' later, man!

(Doctor turns away to speak into a wrist communicator.)

Doctor: The eagle has landed in the henhouse!

(Screen cuts to an unknown island in the Pacific Ocean.)

Boss' Assistant (Doctor): He's done it, sir! He captured all one-hundred and fify-one Pokémon!

Boss: He's the one. I want him brought to me... alive...

Boss' Assistant: Shall I take care of it, sir?

Boss: No. I've hired the best bounty hunter in the galaxy

Boss' Assistant: Boba Fett?

Boss: NO you goddamn idiot! That's a fictional character! I hired... Spider-Man.

(Screen cuts to "Spider-Man" laying in a yard with trash surronding him.)

(Spider-Man's phone rings)

Spider-Man: Oh... uh... Spider-Man here.... Yeah, I'll take care of them.

(Several clips of Spider-Man are shown of him trying to get up. He eventually gets up.)

(Screen cuts to Spider-Man in his "Spider Mobile" where he gets out to coprehend Anthony.)

Spider-Man: Stop right there, citizen! I'm kidnaping you and there's nothing you can do about it!

(Anthony ignores him and keeps walking. Spider-Man pulls out a can of silly string.)

Spider-Man: Uhh... Go web!

(Anthony ignores the silly string on him and keeps walking.)

Spider-Man: Hmm...

(Screen cuts to Spider-Man guiding Anthony into the back of the Spider Mobile.)

(Spider-Man gets in Spider Mobile and drives away.)

Spider-Man: Heh, I'm the best bounty hunter in the galaxy!

(Screen cuts to the same unknown island, although, this time in the Baltic Sea.)

Spider-Man: Got him boss!

Boss: So, I see you're quite the Pokémon master.

Anthony: What do you want from me?

Boss: You have a certain set of skills that I require in one way or another, Anthony. Your gonna help me!

Anthony: I'LL NEVER HELP YOU!

Boss: If you don't, (pulls out gun) I'll kill Ian.

Ian: What?

Anthony: I don't care about him.

Ian: Well, thanks a lot, assho--

(Boss shoots Ian)

Boss: Fine. I'll shot this really hot chick!

Anthony: So?

(Boss shoots really hot chick.)

Hot Chick: Oww, ahhah!

2 HOURS LATER

(Gunshots heard.)

Boss: Okay, fine -- I will shoot a puppy, two babies, three nuns, a really nice pair of running shorts and a polar bear...

Anthony: Whatever.

Boss: ...and your GameBoy.

GameBoy:  Save me, Anthony!

Anthony: NO! NO! NO! What do you want me to do!? I'll do anything!

GameBoy:  He means business, Anthony!

Gameboy:  Oh God! I don't want to die!

Boss: Well, the thing is... I can't catch Mewtwo.

GameBoy:  I have children, Anthony!

Anthony: Wait, so you spent all this money to track me down, capture me, and take me to this secret fortress on the middle of this random island, just so you can ask me tips on how to catch Pokémon?!

Boss: Well, yeah.

Anthony: Why didn't you just watch a walkthough on YouTube?

Boss: YouTube? I though that was just a place for skateborading dog videos.

Anthony: Well you just use a Master Ball to catch Mewtwo.

Boss: The what?

Anthony: The Master Ball. You know, the Poké Ball you only get once in the entire game.

Boss: Oh yeah, the Master Ball! AWW! I caught my cute little Pidgey with that!!! Pidge pidge, pidge pidge!

Anthony: UUUGGGHHH! WHY WOULD YOU USE A MASTER BALL TO CATCH A LEVEL FIVE POKEMON!? YOU F**KING IDIOT!

(Rips off mask to reveal that the Boss was Ian's Mom.)

Anthony: Ian's Mom?

Ian's Mom: And I would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids!

Anthony: But that means you just killed your son.

(Flashback that shows Ian's Mom in the Boss outfit shooting Ian.)

Ian's Mom: Eh, I'm over it. Do you wanna go snailing?

Anthony & Ian's Mom: YYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

(Screen cuts to Anthony and Ian's Mom snailing.)

Ian's Mom: This is so much fun!

Anthony: I know!