REJECTED VIDEOS!/Script

Teleporting Skinny Guy?
(Anthony is playing Pokémon and then Teleporting Fat Guy appears in the living room, but is skinny)

Anthony: Teleporting Fat Guy, is that you?

Robbie Jr.: It sure is.

Anthony: How did you get so skinny.

Robbie Jr.: Duh, the only way anybody gets skinny. I scarf and barf. (Gives a thumbs up)

narrator: REJECTED!

Banned Pokémon Episode
Ian: Check it out dude, I just got this sweet episode of Pokémon that apparently gave a bunch of kids seizures.

Anthony: I don't know.

Ian: Come on man, let's watch it! It'll be hilarious.

20 minutes later

(Ian has seizures while being on the floor)

narrator: REJECTED!

Alternate Scene
Ian: Come on man, let's watch it! It'll be hilarious.

20 minutes later

Anthony: (talking on the phone without seizures) Hey man. Nah! Ian's busy dancing on the floor right now, but I'm free. Yeah, I'll be right over.

Pee Fight
(Ian relaxes on the bed until Anthony comes along)

Anthony: PEE FIGHT!

(Anthony pees on Ian)

Ian: OH GOD! (screams)  NO!  (Keeps on screaming)

narrator: REJECTED!

Dear Santa
Ian: (praying) Dear Santa, I'm sorry about killing that hooker, I swear I'm a good boy.

Santa (spirit): It's alright, dawg. S**t happens.

Ian: Santa! Will I still get a good present this year?

Santa:That depends. You got the naked pictures for me.

Ian: What?

Santa: You have my milk and cookies?

Ian: Sure.

Santa: All right then; later.

Ian: Peace player. (Shows two fingers)

Santa: White people.

narrator: REJECTED!

If Religions Were Real
Anthony: Yeah, but imagine how stupid it'd be if religions were actually realistic.

narrator: REJECTED!

Biggest Stick Contest
Anthony: Dude, there's no way your gonna win the biggest stick conest. I've the biggest stick ever.

Ian: Let's see about that! (Comes out showing his penis)

(Anthony gets grossed out)

Anthony: Oh GOD DUDE, WHAT THE FU...

Ian: I told you I would win the biggest d**k contest!

Anthony: NO DUDE! Biggest stick!

Ian: Oh; well I'm just gonna do...

(Ian penis touched Anthony)

Anthony: OH GOD!

narrator: REJECT.

Ian in the Bathtub
(Ian is playing with a Thomas toy in the bathtub with a bathing suit and is making noises that sounds like Thomas)

Ian: I never knew you liked water so much Thomas. What's that; you want the brave, little toaster to join us? Okay.

(Brings the toaster to the bathtub and dies from eletrocution)

narrator: REJECTED!

The Crazy Quilting Club
Ian: Okay, so you guys know how we're trying to come up with a name for our quilting camp? Well, the perfect name hit me. (Gets the poster) The Krazy Kwilting Klub! I made it all K's because I thought it was kinda cute.

African American: Yeah, I think I'm gonna sit this one out. (leaves)

Ian: Okay? So what did you come up with since our last meeting?

Anthony: I made (gets and wears his Ku Klux Klan costume) a scary ghost costume.

narrator: THAT'S RACIST!

Ian Teaches Kids To Swear
Ian: No you idiot. It rhymes with duck, but it starts with an F.

kid: Fuhduck?

Ian: Oh my god. I just wanna punch my fist in your...

narrator: REJEECTED!

Alternate Scene
Ian: No you idiot. It rhymes with duck, but it starts with an F.

kid: Fuhduck?

Ian: Yep. You're correct.

Limited Vocabulary Timmy
mother: But officer you don't understand, Timmy has a disorder causing him to have a limited vocabulary.

officer: Let's see what we can do.

(Both head to the living room)

In the living room

(Timmy plays with a Thomas toy)

mother: Timmy, you were the last person to see Wendy. Tell the nice police officer where she is.

Timmy: Balls. Balls balls balls, balls.

mother: Oh, you have to concentrate. This is really important!

Timmy: (thought for a while) Balls!

(mother stood back up)

officer: What the hell happened to him?

mother: He was molested by a gang of balls.

officer: (takes his sunglasses off) My God! This is the second one this week.

narrator: RA-JECT-DLOD

Poopy the Snowman
choir: Poopy the Snowman! Flalalalalala!

Anthony: Ah man, he melted.

(Ian kicks the melted poop)

narrator: REJECTED!

The Guy Who Explains Every Joke (Deleted)
Anthony: Oh, okay. So what did the duck say when she bought some lipstick?

man: What?

Anthony: Put it on my bill.

guy: (laughs) Dude, that's really funny. Do you guys get it?

man: Yeah we get it.

guy: Because the duck's mouth is called a bill and you would pay for it on a bill.

Anthony: Uh, yeah.

guy: And the duck would put lipstick on its bill. (laughs) It's like trying it a little funny.

Anthony: I know man, I told the jke.

guy: But, the genius is that duck's can't even drive.

(The man left)

guy: Much less walking into the store and buy makeup.

Anthony: Stop.

guy: Like what, do we expect him to like take a bus or something.

Anthony: Okay seriously, stop!

guy: And what sort of lousy just walks in and pay...

(Anthony shoots the guy)

narrator: REJECTED!

Ending
Anthony: We never made those videos! We just made those up.

Ian: Did I?

(Anthony sees his shirt covered with feces and begins screaming)

Narrator: RE- REGIS PHILBIN!